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We dissolve stuck and rewrite patterns. We apply radical playfulness to life (when we feel like it!), embarking on internal adventures (credo of Safety First). We have a fake band called Solved By Cake. We build invisible sanctuaries, invent words and worlds, breathe awe and wonder.

We are not impressed by monsters. Except when we are. We explore the connections between internal territories and surrounding environment to learn what marvelously supportive delicious space feels like, and how to take exquisite care of ourselves. We transform things.* We glow wild.**

* For example: Desire, fear, worry, pain-and-trauma, boundaries, that problematic word which rhymes with flaweductivity.

** Fair warning: Self-fluency has been known to lead to extremely subversive behavior, including treasuring yourself unconditionally, unapologetically taking up space, experiencing outrageously improbable levels of self-acceptance, and general rejoicing in aliveness.


Friday Chicken #93: an intrigue of spies

Friday chickenBecause it’s Friday AGAIN. And because traditions are important. In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of self-reflection.

And you get to join in if you feel like it.


Chicken. Warm hellos to the Chickeneers of the High Seas, as our Lucy says.

Let’s do it.

The hard stuff

Business screw-up.

That was totally my fault, which makes it even more annoying.

I had been working on a promotion for a thing. And it was taking time because it involved all this structural think-ey stuff.

In the meantime, my First Mate on the pirate ship was waiting for me to okay an email broadcast to a group of people waiting to hear from me.

And we crossed wires. And he thought the thing I needed more time on was the thing that everyone was waiting for.

So an important message went out like five days late and I feel like an ass.

I know these things are just part of running a business but oof. So. Frustrating.

Pain! And way too much of it.

Okay. Don’t freak out because I’m fine.

But I sort of sprained my mindfulness muscle and fell on some stairs.

Again, I’m fine. That’s the good. The hard is that my entire left side is bruised. And ow.

The thing I was hoping would be resolved this week not being resolved.


Getting slightly better at the waiting thing.

But it still sucks.

No, really. I am not good at waiting.

The piece of good news I was hoping for by the end of this week (like, today)?

Will not be coming — if it comes — for another week. Gah.

I’m either going to fall apart completely (fun!) or I’m going to have to learn to be patient (what?!).

And I really don’t know about the learning to be patient thing. Also, if that ever happens they’ll totally make me give up my Israeli passport.

My roller derby addiction bumping into real life.

I have a big thing this weekend that I’ve been looking forward to for months.

But there’s no way in hell I’m missing the bout with Rat City.

Forgive me, dear Seattle readers, but watching our Wheels of Justice wipe the floor with your skaters twice in the past two years has been pure joy.

And now it’s our second WFTDA-sanctioned bout and I am going to be losing my voice and Selma is going to be squeaking madly.

So we’re going to have to skip a big chunk of the thing we’ve been looking forward to doing for six months. Because I’m sorry, this is un-miss-able.

Blah. Choices.

The good stuff


Makes everything better.

Feeling mysteriously hopeful.


Summer showed up.

Sun. And the irises.


Walking around with the gentleman friend and Selma, and pointing at everything beautiful.

People love the monster coloring book like you would not believe.

I need to put together a results page because the results people are reporting are just beautiful.

People freaking adore the monster coloring book, and I could not be happier about this because I poured serious love into that tiny, sweet thing even though I wasn’t actually sure that anyone but me would want it.


Hiro’s class on Internet Hangover.

The one I (nicely) bullied her into teaching.

Man, she’s good.

Drunk Pirate Council.

Beats the pants off of “meetings”.

We got crazy stuff done this week.

Moving into the Playground. Slowly but surely.

We got the keys.

Things are moving. Slowly. But it’s happening.

Sing ho for the Playground. My sweet baby love.

Discovering that I’m not the only person obsessing over goofy collective nouns.

After my silly mess of iguanas, concubinage of collective nouns post on Monday and much goofing off, I heard about all sorts of related craziness.

Including the fact that there is an actual Collective Nouns website that collects collective nouns that show up at the Twitter bar with the #collectivenouns hashtag.

With gems like a savory of chefs, a referral of umpires, a clot of vampires and an intrigue of spies. Love.

Yes, you can follow @collectivenouns. I kid you not.

And … playing live at the meme beach house!

Yes, that’s a Stuism too.

My brother and I have this thing where we come up with ridiculous band names and then say in this really pretentious, knowing tone, “Oh, well, you know, it’s just one guy.”

This week? It’s none other than ….

Floppy Poppy and the Jalopies

Formerly known as Fuzzface Alexander Bottoms (just one guy), they’re now two guys. But they’re breaking up and throwing a farewell concert for each other, which means… you guessed it. Just one guy.

That’s it for me …

And yes yes yes, of course you can join in my Friday ritual right here in the comments bit if you feel like it.

Yeah? Anything hard and/or good happen in your week?

And, as always, have a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious weekend. And a happy week to come.

34 Responses to Friday Chicken #93: an intrigue of spies

  1. Rose
    Twitter: celestialrose

    I want to make this short, because I’m paranoid someone else will beat me to be “first commenter”… again. :P

    Sorry to hear about your hard. Hope it gets better soon -hugs-

    This weeks Friday check in is full of small, annoying things.

    The hard:
    Housemates lying. Shower broken for FOUR WEEKS now. Then toilet blocked. Had to deal with that myself; because they wouldn’t bother. Lot’s resentment and confusion – why did they lie – I see no gain for them.

    Fears and Exams
    Too much at once. Lots of fear, lots of anxious. Exams and coursework and questioning myself. Blarg

    Lots of crying
    Not even 100% sure why. Just lots of feeling helpless. Blargh.

    The good:
    I found a way to make it difficult again, despite having no DVD player now until August. Nice mini-epiphanies. =)

    I’ve been reading your blog like crazy and it’s been reassuring me. Thank you Havi. You legend.

    Support from people on twitter
    Lots of support, reassurance and love.

    Making progress
    Progress on a tiny, sweet thing of my own. Nice progress but it’s still secret – so I’ve got my nice safe invisibility cloak. It’s just nice.

    Lots of love to you and Selma and your gentleman friend – hope you have a good week.
    .-= Rose´s last post … Finding My Wings =-.

  2. Hiro Boga
    Twitter: HiroBoga

    Ah, a week of stuttering movement…


    My website was hacked. Again. For the second time in less than a week. On the first day of Healing Internet Hangover class.

    Missed communications. Email down along with website. No place for class folks to post their questions, brilliant insights, and conversations.

    Web links missing after the site was fixed. Things still not working quite right.

    (Okay, I’m going to stop writing in short, declarative sentences now!) :-)


    Lovely Nathan Briggs fixed my website, and moved it to a new, more secure server. *sigh*

    So much love and support from my online community, here, on Havi’s Kitchen Table, and on Twitter.

    Spring and sunshine! I got to turn off the heat in my house this week, and wear short-sleeved t-shirts. Sun on my skin, silky blue skies, such glorious beauty all around.

    Have a gorgeous weekend, everyone. Hugs for the hard, and celebrating all the good with you.

    Love, Hiro
    .-= Hiro Boga´s last post … Meditations From the Center: 2 =-.

  3. Lindsay says:

    Hi Chickeneers!

    The hard:

    Pulled like every muscle in my back and neck Sunday, somehow, by sleeping crooked or something. I suppose I woke up on the bed side of the wrong. It has not been fun.

    I´m in charge of a project. With people answering to me. And it´s MY name on the business. Oh my god, how exciting! Oh my god, what if I completely screw it up, or these people screw it up, or a gigantic hole opens up in the middle of the city and devours us all before I get everything done?! So there´s some anxiety there.

    I´ve been tired. Like all week. And stupid Chilean social norms require that you can never just hang out with someone for a few minutes. If you “stop by” that´s an hour minimum. Ugh. I want to live in a cave in the woods. That has internet. Does that exist?

    I´ve not gotten nearly enough done on my other side of my other small business. I feel guilty. I know I shouldn´t. Lots of shoulds going on. Ew, shoulds.

    The good:

    I have a project! It´s functioning. It starts up for real next week! It could lead to more long term work. Which means less worrying about the monies!

    I got in my car the other morning and the tank was full! And I´m the one who emptied it and had been totally dreading having to fill it up. Thank goodness for gentlemen friends.

    The shower water is HOT HOT HOT again! And our heat is working. Winter might not be so bad after all! Or atleast showering won´t be. Hot showers are so fabulous.

    Have a great weekend everyone! :)

  4. Kathleen Avins
    Twitter: spiralsongkat

    Monster Coloring Book! I wants it, yes I do — and I think perhaps this is the week that I can get it.

    -Somehow, a week went by, and I did virtually no work on my dissertation proposal. Hello, pattern, my old friend, it’s time to talk with you again…
    -I’ve fallen out of the Shiva Nata habit lately, too. Doing my best to simply notice and acknowledge this, and not should all over myself — but I miss it, and I hope I can find my way back soon. Tonight, maybe.
    -Going to be away for half the weekend at a seminar, and feeling oddly guilty about being away from my family, especially my daughter.

    +I’m looking forward to the seminar, where I’ll spend time with some colleagues who mean a lot to me, and who don’t yet know that I’ve passed my prelims. It’ll be so much fun telling them!
    +I found a lovely new journal in the bargain bin, well within my budget.
    +Had a lovely, cozy, romantic, impromptu mid-week date with my sweetie. I love having a flexible schedule!
    +My singing voice feels strong this week; it doesn’t seem to be getting fatigued so easily. Am I just past the seasonal allergy hurdle for now, or am I actually learning to take better care of myself? Either way, I’m happy.

    Sending love to all my fellow chickens!
    .-= Kathleen Avins´s last post … It is enough. =-.

  5. Barbara J Carter
    Twitter: barbarajcarter

    Oh, hello fellow Chickeneers. (blinks blearily)

    Very Hard
    – My dog is very sick.

    Very Good
    – He’s at the vet, where they will take good care of him.

    Also Good but Hard to Appreciate Right Now
    – This weekend is my Very Important Art Show, but I’m too tired to get excited about it right now because I was up all night taking care of my very sick dog.

    .-= Barbara J Carter´s last post … Art Show in Beverly Hills =-.

  6. Lori Paximadis
    Twitter: Virtuallori

    Ahoy, chickeneers! Ugh, waiting. Suckage.

    This week’s hard:
    – I had to make a tough decision about this thing I’m (reluctantly) in charge of, and it’s going to make some people unhappy (and I’m going to lose a deposit), but that’s just the way it is when people are lame.
    – Still trying to gather my courage to act on and announce said decision to the people involved. Have not found that secret spot where courage is hiding.

    This week’s good:
    – Decision made. Load off shoulders, if not bank account.
    – I’ve adored Metaphor Mouse from afar for a while now, but we’re finally starting to talk and come up with some ideas of our own that might work for me and my stuff.
    – A super-secret project I’ve been nursing with a friend for a long time now is finally starting to take a coherent shape, and it shows lots of promise.

    Happy Friday, everyone!
    .-= Lori Paximadis´s last post … storms! =-.

  7. Emily
    Twitter: emilyroots

    Hey Kathleen! Me too on the shiva nata. If you will tonight, I will…

    Hmmmm, for anyone seeing my linky down there and thinking my post is about a wake as in a funeral, don’t worry, it’s not. It’s more about robins waking up. It’s a poem. I hadn’t thought of that alternative meaning for “wake”…having never been catholic or to a wake (though I did attend a really fascinating Greek Orthodox funeral once…anthropologist-brain liked it).

    I wrote a poem! That’s a good. I had an idea for a comic that spun out of the Poncho-of-Doom debacle. That’s good too. My back hurts a little less this week. I think. That’s good. Construction in the office next door is over. Good.

    Too many interruptions at workywork. Hard. Off track there. Hard again. Still dealing with resistance to doing the things I know will help my back. Hard.

    I posted to my blog three times! Good, I think. I finished knitting a beautiful thing. Good. Knitting became an engine for creativity! Unexpected and good. The first chapter of my novel is rewriting itself in my mind’s eye. Good. I wrote what I wanted to at work, even though I thought it was a Bad thing to do, and everyone liked it. Good. My husband washed all the dishes without me asking when that was exactly the thing I was dreading doing when I got home. Very very good. (He’s also been cooking a lot lately, and he is an awesome cook.) I stopped taking BC pills. Super-extra good. Those funny puffball allium things are blooming in our yard. Good. Owls this morning. Good.

    Yays for everyone’s good. Hugs for everyone’s hard.

    .-= Emily´s last post … Robins Wake =-.

  8. Jane
    Twitter: JaneOfArdis

    This week there has just been flow. It’s been excellent, and long may it continue.


    – not being able to do yoga or shiva nata because of tattoo related ouchiness and being covered in clingfilm. Also only being able to shower when my mum was in to help re-clingfilm me.
    – realising decision making time is looming for my ma and I have no idea what choices I want to make.
    – being left out of something, even though I can totally understand why it’s happened

    – getting plenty of uni work done and enjoying it
    – spending time taking photos and playing with them
    – labyrinth walk – I wasn’t even sure I’d like it and it turned out to be this intensely meaningful and useful experience
    – getting a slightly shoddy tattoo reworked into something beautiful
    – having an idea that’s changed how how think about my blog-to-be, and makes so much better and manageable
    – things going well in the day job
    – the sun finally seems to have come out
    – watched a film last night (das cabinet das dr caligari) that is going to become one of my favourites
    – giggly night out with a close friend
    – turning down a drinks offer that I felt I ‘should’ go for, to be nice and polite because I just didn’t want to and not feeling bad about it

    After a rather chaotic few months seriously feeling (whisper it) blessed to have such a good week.

  9. Kai
    Twitter: apple_kai

    Ahoy Chickeneers!
    Lots of hugs and cocoa to everyone for their hard. <3

    This week in Kailand~

    The Hard:
    ~Shoes. Again. I'm wonder when my soon-to-be-mother-in-law will ever decide to wear them instead of launch them. Uck.
    ~Some stumbling with my baby project. Feeling insecure and scared and confused and gross.
    ~Learning how to use twitter. I'm super shy in a very paranoid way and man, there's so much I can do wrong. My monsters were going crazy.
    ~Random bouts of crying. For no reason. At silly things. Commercials, music, WordPress tutorials…

    The Good:
    ~Shiva Nata! It's funky and exciting and whoa. I'm in love.
    ~Bringing my friend Alice to dinner at the Rice Kitchen. Alice is a very fluffy stuffed bunny. And also doesn't get out much.
    ~Baking! It started with cookies but now there will be cakes and breads and turn-overs. Something new each week. Yum.
    ~It's Friday again! I'm beginning to love Fridays a bunch.

  10. Shannon
    Twitter: clover

    Good morning chickenistas (and chickenistos)!

    Oh man…

    The Hard:

    – I’m gainfully “unemployed” as of Sunday, for I have retired the day job. It’s good but I tend to stress myself out with the “omg must have a paycheck or I’ll be living in a cardboard box” thoughts.

    – Having to devote all my time to The Thing now is scary as hell, because now I no longer have the excuse of not having enough time to work on things. Now it’s the gig for reals, not just the side gig. Fear of failure, baby. I haz it.

    – I had fallen behind on my blog posts over the last ocuple weeks and have been beating myself up over it a little too much.

    – This bicoastal marriage thing is still a pain. And I’m getting really tired of not having any furniture because it’s all still in Florida.

    The Good:

    + I was not sorry to see the day job go. Not even a little. Even a couple months ago it would have been bittersweet, but not now!

    + I have had so many great opportunities for The Thing coming to me over the last month it’s crazy. I’m running as fast as I can just to keep up.

    + My friend gave me a bookshelf she didn’t need anymore, so I finally got all my books off the kitchen counter.

    + New couch should be arriving in the next couple weeks. And it’s white, dammit. Long live impractical Miami Beach design!
    .-= Shannon´s last post … Ask the Astrologer #4 – Smörgåsbord =-.

  11. Sarah Beth
    Twitter: sarahmarmoset

    This week has been really hard for me. I’ve got some medical stuff going on that I’m really, really freaked out about, but I haven’t talked to a single person other than my doctor, because I can’t stand to have people worry about me. So I’m just carrying a lot of fear around, and it’s hard. Gah, hard. And, unrelatedly, I have the flu, which makes everything hard-er. So. That’s been my week. I’m sure there’s been some good in there, but I can’t remember any of it right now. Big huge thanks to the Chicken for being a safe space to share.

  12. Shawna R. B. Atteberry
    Twitter: shawnaatteberry

    Wow. It’s been a long time since I chickened with everyone else. I’m doing the good first because I have an announcement to make:

    The Good

    I am now the Chicago Protestant Examiner on Examiner.com. Woot! No, I won’t make much money, but it will look good on the resume, make me write regularly, and help me get other jobs that do pay.

    Set up an editorial calendar for the blog, so that I know what I need to blog about when I don’t have a clue what to write about. I want to start posting at least 3 times a week.

    Despite the hard, I have been feeling very content and happy. Deep, deep down in my bones, I know life is good, and I am enjoying it.

    Spring may have finally come to Chicago. The last week has been cold, rainy, gloomy, and foggy. We’ve had a space heater on. But for 2 days now the sun has been out and it’s just been gorgeous here.

    Praying The Daily Office just rocks. I’m getting where I chant at least 3 of the 4 offices everyday, and it just grounds and centers me in a way I can’t believe.

    Since joining the gym and getting a personal trainer, I am feeling so much better and feel so strong! I can pull down 50 lbs on the Lat baby! Yoga handstands watch out! Here I come! The gym cost is worth having access to a pool. Swimming is the perfect meld of motion and meditation. Godde should have made me a mermaid. I could live in the water.

    Major Epiphany: I could easily keep my appointment with myself: Morning Prayers and breakfast. But I wasn’t keeping my appointment with My Thing because I kept thinking one appointment had to be in the morning and one in the afternoon. When I figured out I could keep the 2nd appointment in the morning too: problem solved! I keep my appointment with My Thing right after my appointment with myself. Works beautifully.

    The Hard

    Oh The Procrastination Monster has been pounding on me big time, especially since being hired as the Chicago Protestant Examiner. The Monster Coloring Book could not have come out at a better time. I colored the you-can’t-do it-you-always-fail monster to look like a gay leprechaun. Helped. So Much. Also using the Dissolving Procrastination Fairy Dust and principles like crazy.

    Cannot seem to get in a Shiva Nata ritual. It’s been 2 or 3 weeks since I practiced. Need to figure out a time and rituals in and out.

    Feeling like I will never get out of the circles I am going in. Really ready to move out of these patterns. Keep reminding myself I am working on my stuff and trying to kind with myself.

    Havi and Selma: Congratulations with the Playground! I am so happy for you! Sorry for all the hard this week! Your posts have rocked this week! They all seemed to a hit a place I needed to have hit. You two rock.
    .-= Shawna R. B. Atteberry´s last post … Women and Fiction: Writing the World Right =-.

  13. Havi Brooks
    Twitter: havi

    Happy Friday!

    @Rose – totally first. Well done. :)

    And happy for all the good. And sorry about the hard with the housemates. How completely frustrating.

    @Jane – hooray for flow and all that good. Wonderful!

    @Lori – wishing you easy access to the place where the courage is hanging out. And lots of perfect simple solutions. Sounds really hard.

    @Emily – a poem! From the Poncho of Doom. Awesome.

    @Kat – transquarters! Do Level 2 transquarters! The fast ones. Or just say the numbers really fast. (I’ll write more about this on the Shiva Nata blog, but we tend to fall out of practice either when we’re scared of the latest epiphanies or we’re not getting them because we’re doing what we know). And yays for the deguiltifying and the voice.

    @Barbara – “Also Good but Hard to Appreciate Right Now” is a terrific category. I really need to add that to the chicken. That’s how I feel about a lot of things right now. Sending love for you and your dog.

    @Lindsay – cave in the woods! With internet! I’m coming too if you find one.

    @Hiro – kisses

  14. Dawn says:

    Hey all!

    The Hard:

    -Poor little dog’s arthritis. He’s young, so it’s sad. But he’s an inspirational little trooper.
    -My own aches and pains making me feel old.
    -Misunderstanding with friend that resulted in hurts on both end.

    The Good:
    +Misunderstanding with friend cleared up very quickly.
    +Felt like I handled misunderstanding with grace, patience, and very good boundaries. YAY!
    +I started doing yoga again. It has been like coming home to my body.
    +A lot fewer aches and pains, probably because of yoga and other body mindfulness.
    +Enjoying my lunchtime power walks, and have recruited coworkers, too.
    +Wrote academic stuff this week.
    +Day job has been bearable.
    +Overall improvement in attitude.

  15. Lucy
    Twitter: LucySweetman

    Hey Havi and everyone! *waves*

    SO weird, there i was thinking to myself that it was about time I chickened and said:

    “hi ho chickeneers of the high seas!”

    and then I get a name-check from the awesome Havi with that exact sentiment! Brill!

    so here we are. it’s been a funny old week.

    The Hard

    As some of you may know we had a general election on the 7th May and for the first time since 1974, we had a hung parliament because no single party had a majority of seats in the house of commons.

    The upshot is that we now have a coalition govt between the Conservative Party (right wing) and the Liberal Democrats (centre-left-ish and who came third in votes and seats).. i won’t give you British Govt and Pol 101 but the impact will be significant. the smallest serious party in the Commons is propping up a govt with a right-wing agenda that is determined to cut public services and do serious damage to children’s services and schools.

    Because my work depends on govt funding and a lot of the work we do depends on having ministers who support it, we could have some serious trouble ahead.

    i found myself pretty blue this week as a result.

    If you do want to enjoy UK Govt and Pol 101 visit my website!!: http://www.lucysweetman.co.uk

    The Good

    Cricket season has started, we had our first match last week and won, second match is on sunday. it’s great to see all the women back on the field enjoying themselves.

    happy weekend all and hugs for the hard…

    Lucy xx
    .-= Lucy´s last post … Planning for Awesomeness =-.

  16. Amy Crook
    Twitter: amysnotdeadyet

    I totally failed to do this last week, but really, I’m not sure I wanted to catalogue all that hard anyway. Bleh. This week has been some improvement, and some not so improved things. Sigh.

    The Hard
    – Other People’s Drama washing over my toes, throwing off my balance, adding stress where there was none. Several people. And a business. It’s like a drama oil spill, messing up my internal ecosystem.
    – Big Client of Rent-Paying is having more death throes, and I really need to get off my ass and work on my money outcome so I can fire them before they take me down with them.
    – The aforementioned is causing a bit of money tightness when I was just starting to feel hope. I get that freelance is feast or famine, but I would like these cycles not to cause me whiplash.
    – Trees are having relations in my sinuses, and I do not like it.
    – My fingernails have decided this is the week they will all break to annoyingly short lengths.
    – Erratic sleep makes me extra cranky. Meh.

    The Good
    + Bought my plane tickets finally! Will be seeing Mum get married soonish.
    + Did a lot of art this week, for others and for myself.
    + Have gotten caught up with several work projects, and managed to talk one client down from bad design choices.
    + Have shown signs of getting better at clearing the decks rather than hoarding work so I feel as though I always have something to do, and trusting that more work will come in.
    + Have two more people possibly wanting cartoons, including one that might have a monkey in it. Dude. Monkey.
    + Did some Shiva Nata combined with some Money Class stuff and feel things slowly opening up.
    + Printed out the Monsters to color.
    + Pinned down Monster Client #3 on what she wants, mostly. Woot.
    + Daily art posts are going well. Even a few comments here and there!
    + Noodled around bay area all day Saturday buying canvas, watching Iron Man 2, eating seafood & drinking Tom Collins. Awesome.
    + Had a spontaneous date Weds with an adorable redhead far too young for me. Enjoyed it!
    + Cuddly cats are still soft, warm and healthy.
    .-= Amy Crook´s last post … Cartoons and Monsters and Weddings and Art: An Update =-.

  17. Karen A
    Twitter: Embodhi

    @Havi – Waiting can be… difficult. Falling down stairs/steps, however, far too easy. Feel better soon.

    The Hard

    – Horrible throat Lurgi which is now taking over my entire head (it’s like the Wirim in Doctor Who & The Ark In Space)
    – End of intro to Kundalini Yoga class, and no teachers in my area (BOO!)
    – Feeling like every plan for the week just went kerplooey
    – Being mired in the Pit Of Despond around my ongoing qualification bits, which are ongoing for other people, but not yet for me
    – Knowing I need content on my website, and having good ideas, and completely blanking when I sit down to organise them
    – A function I don’t want to go to but have to even though I feel so rough
    – An event I do want to go to but won’t be able to because I feel so rough
    – Someone I was supposed to meet turned up while I was filthy and dressing gowny with mad professor hair and hacking up stuff – and I had TOTALLY forgotten we were meeting. For the first time.
    – Waiting for the Shiva Nata DVD has me jumping every time we get post

    The Good

    + I asked someone to talk me through my Fear around being A Businessperson – and they did, and I articulated lots of stuff and it felt so much better
    + My Twittering has resulted in someone I love being given a great gift by someone on my feed, which is fab
    + Someone big upped my business online! (cue both freaking out about Lack of Site Content and feeling really… wow, cool!)
    + 2 volunteer gigs just shifted in really cool new ways because I learned to set some boundaries and do the stuff I really feel passionate about in ways that energise me instead of depleting me
    + Spouse got time off work and has plied me with drinks, cough lozenges, fruit and “drive-by cuddles”
    + A couple of friends got really great career breaks

  18. Chris
    Twitter: chrisdivalish

    For the record, I’m rooting for Rat City…. a girl can hope, can’t she?

    + got my first real, actual, paying coaching client
    This is awesome! AND scary…. am scrambling this morning to put together an offer for her…. trying to trust that there’s time and space to rest into this… that she’s interested to the point of letting me know what times work best for her … that she’s not going to disappear …. grateful for the noticing that what seemed insurmountable at the beginning of this year (the whole earning anything at all from this baby business that I wasn’t even sure is a good idea) might actually be doable….

    + tech consulting client that owes me a lot of money has promised to mail a check.
    … am now clear that they aren’t going to just pay as agreed without me specifically asking for payment. Not the way I want it to work, but I’ll take knowing what I need to do to get paid over not knowing and worrying about it.

    + making progress on my quest for billable hours… possible projects are moving along and it’s looking like a few of them might turn into actual projects. Actual projects = actual monies. Good!

    – website woes. Not only am I too chicken to put the darn thing up anyway, my web designer is refusing to work with a WordPress site… and there’s no money for paying someone else. I don’t want to let the fact that my website isn’t perfectly the way I want it keep me from putting it out there. (Hello Perfection! Nice to see you again!) Looks like I might have to pick a theme and make time to do it myself for now. So not what I wanted to be doing ….

    – my little cat is still sick. He gets a little better, then a little worse again. We still don’t know what’s wrong and the cycle of getting my hopes up that he’s really okay only to descend into worry again is super tiring.

    Hugs and pints hoisted for everyone’s Hard. Cheers and pints hoisted for the Good. Either way, there’s alcohol….
    .-= Chris´s last post … Taking orders =-.

  19. Shannon
    Twitter: clover

    P.S.: I love you Havi, but it’s all about the RAT CITY, baby!

    \m/ (>_<) \m/
    .-= Shannon´s last post … Ask the Astrologer #4 – Smörgåsbord =-.

  20. Gadgetgirl says:

    The Hard:
    – Still too much work and too little time
    – Difficulty getting a contract going for a research project. The hang up is not on my part, but it still makes it hard nonetheless.
    – Carrying over 100+ hours of vacation time. This means I have NOT had a real vacation in over 1 year and it doesn’t look like I will get one until my doctoral program is over.
    – Procrastination over writing the two papers that are due this evening.
    – Still 6 more weeks until I get a break from my doctoral program. I’m completely running on fumes.

    The Good:
    – The teaching semester is over! Just have to grade the exams and I’m done for three weeks!
    – That I am being allowed to carryover unused vacation and not simply lose it. I can use that time when I have to write my dissertation proposal.
    – Spa day with my best friend tomorrow!

  21. Chris Anthony
    Twitter: delightineer

    Man, this week.

    The Hard
    – Getting into arguments that serve no purpose other than to get me upset. Especially my fault because if I’d kept my mouth shut there wouldn’t have been an argument to begin with. All on my head, there.
    – Alex is away for three days on a field trip. It’s lonely without him.
    – I’m having trouble getting responses to my site. I think it’s just a scale thing, but at the same time, I’m having a LOT of trouble decoupling my external success from my internal worth, so no sales = emotional crashing.
    – On Sunday afternoon, my computer crashed, taking with it everything I’ve done for the last several years. (Most of it is backed up, but then, it’s not the hard drive that’s bad – it’s the video card or the motherboard, and I can’t test further to figure out which.)

    The Good
    + Alex is away for three days on a field trip! The freedom is intoxicating. ;)
    + I have a replacement computer to use, and even though it’s old and slow, it does what I need it to.
    + Thanks to a long talk with Naomi, I know exactly what I want to do with the rest of my life. I can even think of a few ways to make a living doing it. I’m so happy. This cancels out all the hard I’ve had this week. :))))

    Love to everybody. The weekend’s going to be fantastic. <3
    .-= Chris Anthony´s last post … A thought for the day =-.

  22. This week was a mixed bag of stomachache inducing stress and awesome business biggification, so it felt really strange for me.

    The Good:

    -I’ve been spending ages freaking out about doing more guest posting, so I finally bit the bullet and submitted one…about my freaking out about guest posting. And it was accepted, so yay! I suppose the lesson here is when in doubt, just keep writing.

    -I felt like I managed to step back and sleep and relax this week in a way I haven’t gotten to in awhile, so I feel rested and ready to try and push through the rest of the month.

    -Finally having ideas for long terms projects (like real books, submitted for traditional publishing), that I’d really like to see happen. Now it’s a matter of saving the time and energy for them.

    -Cold emailed a client I would give my left leg to work for a few days ago, which took several months to get up the guts to do. Now I’m just crossing my fingers that they might want to work with me.

    The Hard:

    -Lots and lots of loud obnoxious monsters. When I try to start a new infoproduct for my business, one starts yelling about how someone else has done that and they’re more famous than you anyway. I am trying to sit down and talk with them, but I find myself mostly just wanting to slap some duct tape across their mouths so I can get on with things.

    -Social interaction: it’s been one of those weeks where I pretty much don’t feel like talking to anyone. And it’s not because I don’t love my friends, but I’ve just been so tired/stressed that it seems really hard. Unfortunately, I am now worried that this has been interpreted as not wanting to talk to people, which was not my intention at all.

    -I’m going to Paris late this month, which I’m excited about, mostly. However, I am scared to death of flying, and I’ve never been even semi-alone in a European city before. I’m terrified of getting lost as soon as I step out of the hotel, being alone and not having enough language skills, and just generally being away from home for that long. And then feeling ungrateful that I’m so worried because hell, it’s Paris, and I should be thrilled.

    Good luck with your chickens, everyone! <3
    .-= Holly Jackson´s last post … How to get tagline results at a rest stop in three easy steps. =-.

  23. Meg
    Twitter: khunmeg

    Havi, I do hope your bruised personage is healing quickly!

    Oooh, it’s really dark o’clock Saturday morning here. But I’m SO ready to lose my Chicken Virginity! Even though it feels really vulnerable. Eek.

    • Learning that being a trucker’s wife is all it’s cracked up to be: lonely and topsy-turvy.
    • The IT (Intense Tired) persists without even a day of relief. I guess that’s why they call it chronic fatigue. Duh.
    • Pulled my glute doing the Infant Series. Again. Meg, please don’t do this. It makes you walk like a pinecone is lodged in your rectum.
    • Dealing with grief and loss that is sometimes overwhelming.
    • Can’t have a Guinness with my new friend who was a monster, Mr Pill. (refer below)

    • Making friends with an external monster named Mr Pill. I wanted to hate him but he’s good for my sads.
    • Having talks with an internal monster named Herb. Herb is my dude who says: You should be able to do it without Mr Pill!! You were a psych nurse for chrissakes!! You’re a hippie!! You hate Big Pharma!! He’s named after the herbs I wish my liver could handle. Our talks went nowhere until I reminded him that my best friend died this year. Then he mumbled something about being really sorry.
    • A million reminders of how lucky I am to have Janey and Bella, my canine daughters with super powers.
    • My Yin Yoga habit. Pulled glute or not, it is THE SHIT.

    And {{{Hugs}}} for everyone who needs one. Or two even.
    .-= Meg´s last post … Janey Loves Her Daddy =-.

  24. Avonelle Lovhaug
    Twitter: avonelleL

    Oh, I so love the chicken. But it is so hard to read about everyone’s hard. (Thank goodness for the good in there, or I’d be so sad!)

    My hard…
    – Lot of overwhelm working on icky project I don’t really like. Drives my motivation right into the tank.
    – Rainy and cold here all week, which was dank and depressing.
    – Hard to watch family members struggling. Some health and financial issues looming for some family.

    The good…
    – Accomplished a lot of tasks that needed to get done. Hurray for progress!
    – Dropped a few pounds. Wow – just when I stopped trying!
    – 102 year old Grandpa is settling into his new place.
    – Worked a bit on my new baby thing. Now I just need to gather some courage to launch it.

    Happy weekend!
    .-= Avonelle Lovhaug´s last post … Your design will never be “perfect” =-.

  25. Anna-Liza
    Twitter: Divina712

    Hey, Friday! Cool.

    The hard –
    Not so much today. Husband is doing census work and will be doing that tonight and a big chunk of the weekend.

    Odd free-floating anxiety, which may actually be excitement, but no idea why.

    Realization that, as much as I adore Tony Hsieh’s new book and the principles he advocates, the culture at my company may be too far gone to move back to the positive. Feeling frustrated about that, because it’s a good company.

    Haven’t Shiva’d all week, not sure why I don’t want to. Haven’t yoga’d either. Maybe I just need a break.

    The good –
    Husband has work coming in and we both have cool ideas for expanding it in the areas of his greatest interest.

    I have discovered amazing support for my baby steps toward being a pro knit designer, and a source of side income using knitting for myself and my daughter.

    My daughter & granddaughter are coming over tonight!
    .-= Anna-Liza´s last post … Pollyanna and the Incovenient Robin =-.

  26. Trish says:

    okay here goes- I’m doing the Friday Chicken!

    The Hard
    -the last page of my website (which seems to be re-writing itself) is holding out on me. I slammed into it this week and realized it’s “the page” that tells people what I really do, and maybe I don’t know what I really do? (Or at least I haven’t figured out how to explain it in a way that isn’t stupid).

    -somebody came into my home this week and BLEW the door right of my secret closet (which I didn’t even know I had!) letting out all sorts of old skeletons and monsters that went running around reeking havoc and mayhem and general disorientation.

    The good
    -my website has almost re-written itself (except for the page) and it is totally awesome and me! Yay! And my people are asking when they get to see it which is exciting!

    -Thank goodness for the power of my voice which I used to chant away all those spooky skeletons and monsters that were released from my closet so I could be present to work with my people, instead of dodging my stuff.

  27. Elizabeth
    Twitter: corsetlib

    My goodness! I was waiting and waiting to chicken today. And then today happened and now it’s no longer really day. But here we go anyway. Thank you everyone for the wonderful ones ahead of me here.

    The hard:
    I leave in 4 days for the summer. Four days. Ack! the packing, the erranding, the readying.

    And I’ve got a sick old lady cat here and a sick father there. So there are no perfect decisions.

    The good:
    My beautiful, wonderful friend who is housesitting and catsitting is gentle and loving and caring. So the old lady I KNOW is in good hands.

    I am THIS CLOSE to leaving my during-the-year nefarious to do list behind. And starting my joyous simple summer list (1. write. 2. laugh. 3. breathe. 4. help. 5. repeat.).

    Three large cowboys in even larger hats walked up to me at the end of last week and handed me an anonymous gift. Only in Texas.

    Happy chickens heading to roost.
    .-= Elizabeth´s last post … Strumpet Sails on the S.S. Lost Virtue =-.

  28. Riin
    Twitter: happyfuzzyyarn

    Ooh, pain sucks. I hope your hurt goes away soon.


    The good

    + This was my first week with my new schedule — working at the day job Monday, Tuesday, and half a day Wednesday, and then spending the rest of the week dyeing, spinning, and watching “Alfred Hitchcock Presents” dvds. It totally rocks. I worked 13 hours yesterday, only it didn’t feel like work. It was fun!

    + I started riding my bike again. I plotted out a route to the day job that goes through a park and rode partway there and back again to make sure I had all the turns the right way in my head. There were so many butterflies in the park. Cool.

    + I’m taking precepts this weekend, so I’ll officially be a Buddhist. I’ll even get a Buddhist name.

    The hard

    – I’m still trying to figure out how to divvy up my inventory — what to add to my store now, and what to hold back for shows. I need to get enough money to buy more yarn and fiber to dye so I’ll have enough for the shows too, and for wholesale customers. And of course enough money to buy frivolous things like groceries and electricity.

    – We’re supposed to do 3000 prostrations before taking the precepts, and I am so not anywhere near that many. I can still do them within a year, but I kind of feel like I “should” have done them all by now. Yeah, shoulds are no good. It’s the should monster. It wants me to be perfect, and anything less is not good enough. Sorry, should monster. I’m human. By definition not perfect.
    .-= Riin´s last post … If it’s Friday this must be Ann Arbor =-.

  29. Andi
    Twitter: annaline_39

    Hugs for the hards and cheers for the goods.

    Some of this is cryptic, but this week really was the highest highs and lowest lows.

    Old abandonment issues rearing their very ugly heads Tuesday night.

    Missing a friend.

    Relationship stuff.

    I finished a piece! A very pretty piece. And I remembered how I fall in love with each piece as I’m working on it.

    Shiva Nata, at random times, throughout the week.

    An epiphany about communicating with DH.

    A very good reading yesterday with Michele Lessirard of the New Moon Journal. She confirmed what my intuition has been screaming at me and offered very good advice.

    I got an extension on an illustration job and was able to turn them in on Wednesday.

    The work is flowing again, the eye in the hurricane of personal chaos.
    .-= Andi´s last post … Moving Right Along =-.

  30. Mechaieh
    Twitter: zirconium

    Also, if that ever happens they’ll totally make me give up my Israeli passport.

    Havi, this made me laugh.

    + I miss Israel. I miss France.
    + I really miss long hot baths.
    + Asthma flareup.
    + Ailing ThinkPad battery
    + Complete non-feedback on several projects/applications.
    + Wanting to be further along on so many things, some of them not even started.

    + Nashville air: lushly perfumed with honeysuckle
    + Getting paid for a poem published back in November
    + Receiving lovely and funny cards/letters/gifts for my birthday
    + Roasted radishes and eggs
    + Copyediting nearly a thousand endnotes.
    + Being wired to enjoy working on big bibliographies.
    + Reading this post and y’all’s chickens. Thank you, toda, merci.
    .-= Mechaieh´s last post … "I reserved the hurt I feel to make happy surprises" =-.

  31. lynn @ human, being
    Twitter: humanbeingblog

    I like late chickens, like I like late checkouts at hotels. Hi everyone. Hi Havi & Selma!

    The hard:
    -The continued female health problems
    -Learning that what I thought was perimenopause at age 40 (and therefore, natural albeit a little early) is not, which means something is WRONG. And that got my monsters all stirred up about not trusting Western doctors who don’t listen and jumping to the worst possible conclusions.
    -And all the fear and projecting and crying and hysteria about this. And anger and frustration at myself for not being able to figure this out without a medical degree or other training.
    -So. Freaking. Tired. Because I am dangerously anemic.
    -Being afraid/ashamed to ask for help and support.
    -Not being able to take advantage of super low low airfare sale for an impromptu weekend vacation by the sea because my husbands job is so *&5##$@ inflexible. Grrr.

    The good:
    +Work was OK this week. Manageable.
    +I found a job opening that EXACTLY fits what I want to do next (could it be more perfect? No! Exact right money, location, mission, job duties, involves coaching, working for a woman I respect. I would ROCK this job.) I applied and have thoughts out to the universe for support in getting an interview.
    +Amazing convo with herbalist extraordinaire who told me, “If this was me, I would see a specialist to make sure everything is structurally OK before proceeding.” So helpful. And she gave me herbs that we think will help with the situation & vitamins/iron to rebuild my blood.
    +Deciding at therapy that I will let myself off the hook this week, and do some good self care as I wait for the obgyn appointment on Friday.
    +Stepping through the fear of “bothering” my husband and asking him to listen supportively while I cried. And he held me and reassured me that he’s here when I need him and I feel so much less frightened with that renewed in my brain.
    +I actually did some Shiva Nata this week, and I’ve almost gotten level 1 arms/legs combos down (although the 4s are still hard) and I’m about to move on to the turning version.

  32. Karen A
    Twitter: Embodhi

    @Chris: My site is out there now, even though I made it myself without having ANY CLUE what I was doing. It’s not professional, it’s a place holder. And that’s OK. Because it’s not bad for someone who went from No Clue to putting out a website within 48 hours. And Leah Shapiro touted it on her Twitter feed, and I got over 1000 unique visits, which was both terrifying and cool.

    It’s clunky. It doesn’t have to stay that way. At least it’s there. And one day it will be much shinier and have Actual Cool.

    So maybe it’s not a terrible option for you? At least you’re unlikely to make one any uglier than mine (and I say that with a mother’s pride). Just throwing it out there.

  33. Tami
    Twitter: tamihackbarth

    havi – i admire your enthusiasm for derby. my workmate refs for sacred city derby girls so i’m hearing lots about it at work too.

    the hard:
    pollen showers resulting in macdaddy allergies.
    constantly being exhausted from said allergies.
    feeling bad that my allergies are kicking my ass.
    mom is going in for surgery in a couple weeks – keeps finding out more things wrong with her health.
    feeling guilty b/c she has never taken care of herself and now she’s scared and i’m judging her.
    being bugged the out-the-door boss is giving me the cold shoulder. i hate when people don’t like me. even if i don’t like them.

    the good:
    i talked about my yoga class on the internets and people came.
    people thanked me for teaching when really it is a gift to be teaching them.
    lots of yoga.
    set up facebook page for my blog and people “like” it and it’s increased traffic to my older posts.
    mostly unplugging and deep cleaning my bedroom – floor to ceiling. it’s like moving, but better.
    dust bunny hunt helping with allergies.
    moving furniture – getting rid of a piece i’ve always hated and not buying anything to put in it’s place.
    .-= Tami´s last post … Song of the Day! =-.

  34. Mechaieh
    Twitter: zirconium

    @Tami: “i hate when people don’t like me. even if i don’t like them.” This. Yes. Definitely one of my peskier, persistence monsters.

    Yay for vanquishing those dust bunnies!
    .-= Mechaieh´s last post … "I reserved the hurt I feel to make happy surprises" =-.

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