Fluent Self Item!A somewhat goofy mini-collection of stuff I’ve been reading, stuff I’ve been thinking about and oh, some completely random crap.

Basically the stuff that never gets mentioned here because I’m not the kind of person who can just make some teeny little point. Not into the whole brevity thing, as the Dude would say.

Actually, I’m under the strict compulsion to write ten pages about anything on my mind. So this is me. Practicing brevity.

Yes, we talked about that yesterday.

Anyway …

Item! Product development advice (not mine)

I’m pretty much always in product development mode. And I have a whole (fabulous) beta group right now helping me out with The Next Big Thing.

Obviously getting advice from people I trust and respect is great, but sometimes I also need a good reminder not to include absolutely everyone in that process.

I found this article on why not to share your product roadmap to be absolutely fascinating. If you don’t do products, you can skip this.

Item! A little chat with your former paranoid self? More fun than it sounds.

Seriously. Read Shannon’s brilliant piece on making mistakes.

It will totally make you want to engage in witty repartee (or something) with your own FSP.

And if not, it’s something to look forward to being able to do in the future.

Item! The funniest thing I’ve read this week.

My latest obsession is Johnny B. Truant from The Economy Isn’t Happening.

I’ve read this post about pants at least six times already. And every single time I collapse in giggles and then am madly jealous and then am overwhelmed by how thrilled I am to have found this blog.

If you’re a fellow Twitter-ite — and if not … come on in, the water is fine — he’s @JohnnyBTruant.

Also you should subscribe to his blog. And then promise to keep reading me even though I will never be that funny ever.

Item! Sitting down is painful.

The second funniest thing I read this week was this shockingly realistic account of freelancer life from Sparky Firepants.

Also, Mr. Pants (David, to you) may have convinced me to get a new chair.

Whoah, I just noticed that all the stuff I obsess over online has to do with pants. Weird, right?

Item! Avoid Teachstreet.com like the plague

How not to launch your business:

      1. be a spammy jerk and send unsolicited non-personal self-promotional email to random strangers and their ducks.
      2. don’t apologize for being a spammy jerk when you’re called on it.
      3. don’t respond at all to people who offer time and energy to help you not suck.

Here’s part of what I wrote to them (more than a week ago):

Just from a business angle and not only from the “be a mensch” angle — if you’re sending random people unsolicited non-personalized stuff they’re probably going to mark it as spam instead of just opt-ing out.

In a world where word-of-mouth is everything and where we’re all talking stuff up on our blogs and on Twitter, you really, really, really don’t want to start a relationship off like this.

The reason I’m taking the time to write this instead of marking-as-spam is because a. it looks like you have a decent idea and b. you’re from Seattle and I love Seattle. But come on. Don’t make us hate you.

Too late. I already hate them.

Their service might be awesome. But — hey guys, who’s even going to notice that if you’re going around stepping on toes! Don’t step on toes.

Item! I also want to wear a muu muu!

We’re all kind of becoming internet shut-ins with this work-from-home stuff.

And there’s no reason we shouldn’t do it in style. Time to break out the muu muu.

Seriously, I really am a hermit. I always way over-identified with that suspicious old recluse character in detective novels — sometimes it scares me how much I LOVE hermit-ing it up.

The only thing I like more is saying muu muu. Muu muu.

Item! I don’t feel like being grateful! Also, it’s American Thanksgiving tomorrow.

I wrote a (fairly) amusing article last year about the worst thing about Thanksgiving.

Namely, how annoying it is when everyone wants to shove a bunch of gratitude down your throat and make you count your blessings and stuff when you don’t feel like it.

If you do feel like it, then yay! When you don’t — and sometimes I don’t — it’s a big pain. So I will be playing one of my silly Ungratitude Games tomorrow. And I hope you’ll join me for that.

Okay. We’re done.

Have a great Thanksgiving if you celebrate. Until then …….. love from my duck. Selma would also like me to mention that if you eat duck, oy va voy. Don’t tell us about it! Thanks.