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We dissolve stuck and rewrite patterns. We apply radical playfulness to life (when we feel like it!), embarking on internal adventures (credo of Safety First). We have a fake band called Solved By Cake. We build invisible sanctuaries, invent words and worlds, breathe awe and wonder.

We are not impressed by monsters. Except when we are. We explore the connections between internal territories and surrounding environment to learn what marvelously supportive delicious space feels like, and how to take exquisite care of ourselves. We transform things.* We glow wild.**

* For example: Desire, fear, worry, pain-and-trauma, boundaries, that problematic word which rhymes with flaweductivity.

** Fair warning: Self-fluency has been known to lead to extremely subversive behavior, including treasuring yourself unconditionally, unapologetically taking up space, experiencing outrageously improbable levels of self-acceptance, and general rejoicing in aliveness.


Wanna read my personal ad? It’s personal!

And not what you think.

So I’m taking Jennifer Hofmann‘s course on Inspired Organizing. And it’s brilliant and amazing.

And …. I don’t know how to say this. Well, I do. I just don’t have a nice way of saying this:

If you’re less than giddy with joy about your current home-office situation and organizing systems, and if you knew about this course (because, you know, I gush about Jen’s work all the time), and you could even kind of afford it and didn’t sign up early enough to get in, you’re a complete …

No, that’s not fair. What I mean is, I don’t understand you. Or: I seriously wish you would tell me what kept you from taking this course.

Because it kicks so many kinds of ass. But in a sweet, loving, compassionate, fun, good-spirited way.

Man, I like to think I’m relatively self-aware or whatever, at least knowledgeable about my patterns, and then this class comes around and let me tell you, it is spinning my head around faster than you can say “paradigm shift”.

Not that you would say that, though, because ew.

But let’s get back to my personal ad

The first class was this week and we were talking about our relationship with space. What it looks like, where it hurts, what gets stuck.

And it was totally like being in couples counseling. Me and my office and all of our crap together and all the things we don’t like about each other.

Everyone else in the class was working on improving their relationship to their space and all of a sudden it hit me. This is never going to work out. I don’t want to repair my relationship to this particular space that I’m in because I don’t even like it.

I’m investing in something that is an uncomfortable compromise … and there’s nothing keeping me in it except for the fact that moving kind of sucks.

And then: Oh. I really don’t have to stay here. I can move on. I can find some other space to love. And it started to get exciting. Scary, but exciting.

So then Jen suggested that I write a personal ad. For an apartment. So I did.

And … in the cheesy but well-intentioned spirit of “planting seeds” and “putting it out there” and “sharing my process“, and in the hope that maybe one of you knows someone in Portland (Oregon, yes?) who has a hunch as to where my new home is waiting for me …

Here it is.


Loving, caring, urban couple with adorable toy duck seeking sweet home in Portland — not the one on the east coast — to cherish and adore for long-term rental relationship … (and more?)

Us? We’ll scrub you clean every single Friday morning and generally treat you like the goddess you are.

You: about 1000 square feet with wood floors and lots of light. A porch would be nice too … and maybe a basement?

Ideally you’re located in NE Portland, near Alberta or Killingsworth, but if you’re the one for us we’ll go pretty much anywhere, as long as you’re in walking distance to groceries and such.

The most important thing for us in this relationship is the kitchen. We want it to be big enough for us to eat in there, and inviting enough for us to hang out in.

We both work from home, so we’ll be around a lot, and Richard will cook something that smells amazing every single night except Tuesday.

Havi will bake bread at least once a week. You’ll love it.

We only use natural ingredients (lemon, vinegar, soap, borax) to clean, so you’ll be well taken care of with no chemicals in sight. And we never leave dishes in the sink!

We don’t smoke or do drugs (but you’ll like us anyway!)

No drama. No poltergeists please. Neighbors who are learning to play drums and/or trumpet = dealbreaker. Ahem. *glares out the window*

We’ll tend the space with daily morning meditations and daily evening yoga. You will be madly loved by us.

If this is you, please have someone call us so we can meet in person! (971) 533-7623. Or even better: email. And send a picture!

Personal enough for ya?

Happy weekend, guys. Thanks for reading my personal ad. I love that you’re all looking for the right place with me, at least in spirit.

And, just so it’s clear, if Jen ever does her life-changingly awesome Inspired Organizing course again, I expect to see you there. Because I need some more hand-holding too!

20 Responses to Wanna read my personal ad? It’s personal!

  1. Deb Owen says:

    I love it! And you know what? I’m in a whole “relationship with my space thing” right now. And not just my office. It’s the weirdest thing. It’s not so much the space as the stuff in it and whether it still fits me or not. There’s a LOT of work to do as I seem to be weeding through all this accumulated stuff. (Does everyone else think of George Carlin and his “stuff” whenever you talk about this stuff? I do. ha!)

    I’ve never lived in one house for this long. It’s amazing how my “stuff” expanded to fill it. And how much moving involves clearing out (because why move stuff you don’t really want or need anymore?)…..but now I’m doing that kind of clearing out and staying put. And it’s kinda weird! (ha)

    It’s way more of an internal process than I expected.

    Good luck with the ad!
    Hope you find your perfect match!

    All the best!

    Deb Owens last blog post..the artist’s way (doing things differently)

  2. Hi Havi,

    I had to laugh when you said “No poltergeists please”
    (Quite a few people live with them without even knowing . . .) Good luck!


    Akemi “spiritual entrepreneur” @ Yes to Mes last blog post..Gratitude Friday, Edition 14, Gratitude For The Things I Don’t Like

  3. Kyeli says:


    I am deeply touched by this post. We’re in a space right now that, on top of being the wrong size, is our running away from a bad relationship space – our space without someone, not our space with each other. I’m unhappy here, no matter how I clean or arrange or paint or hang things.

    I’ve known it for a while, but this really crystallized it for me and inspired me to write a personal ad for a new place for us. Fortunately, we were already planning to move! (:

    Thank you for being awesome, and for being open and sharing this.

    Kyelis last blog post..Kyeli got me pretty pink flowers!

  4. JoVE says:

    The big kitchen is really what sold us on the place we are in. 16′ x 21′. My office is in a little alcove at one end of it but since I’m also homeschooling my kid, that works great. She is working at the kitchen table behind me right now.

    Good luck finding somewhere. Something like that really should exist.

    JoVEs last blog post..Futile knitting

  5. Havi,

    I am in Chicagoland or i would dust off my real estate license that I put on the shelf last year and come help you find it. It sounds wonderful. I will put your words into prayerform and join you in sending that thought out into the universe with you. It’s out there. Every home has its perfect match. I REALLY believe that.

    Wendi Kelly-Life’s Little Inspirationss last blog post..Bouncing Back

  6. […] if I had to redefine success for myself, what would it be? (Maybe this is a personal ad for success? Perhaps?) The ability to be fully myself, and have a select group of people appreciate that. To be […]

  7. […] Writing a personal ad (Havi stylee) for the person I’d like to meet (gulp, that one’s a little […]

  8. […] thinking about what it is I want and how to write a Personal Ad for it, given the amazingly powerful meme that I first saw on Havi’s blog.  As it was when I first started this journey a year ago, my […]

  9. […] in Ottawa, or know people who are moving to Ottawa, let them know. As a variation on Havi’s personal ad approach to life issues, I’ve got a post about our place ready to go on Monday morning. So […]

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  13. […] blogger – Selma, on the other hand, is a duck of another color.  Anyway, Havi wrote this really great ad about wanting a house.  Let’s let that simmer for a while, shall […]

  14. […] created a personal ad for a new house. Then a dentist. And then some other things. The universe listened, and connected her with just […]

  15. […] Havi introduced me to the idea of writing personal ads, not for dates, but for things one needs. She wrote one last year when looking for a new house for herself and her gentleman friend. And it worked out very well. (Hurray for Hoppy […]

  16. […] a hat tip to Havi for this format. (Have you read her stuff yet? She’s […]

  17. […] a page from Havi’s book—about a year ago she wrote a personal ad for a house. And now she’s in a space that she loves. So I figure, why the hell not? ARE YOU MY SPECIAL […]

  18. How have I not commented on this thread yet??

    Having been in the Hoppy House that sprung from this writing, I can only say how thrilled I am that I got to play a part in you guys finding your dream space. What an amazing shift from the cruddy, neighbor-hating, stressed-out apartment you were in before that. Whew!

    And a million hugs and gratitude for the generous compliments about my little biz. So glad that our paths cross!

    :) Jen

  19. […] Tropes. A tool of hers that intrigues me is writing “very personal ads.” She originally wrote one for her dream house, and ended up finding […]

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