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We dissolve stuck and rewrite patterns. We apply radical playfulness to life (when we feel like it!), embarking on internal adventures (credo of Safety First). We have a fake band called Solved By Cake. We build invisible sanctuaries, invent words and worlds, breathe awe and wonder.

We are not impressed by monsters. Except when we are. We explore the connections between internal territories and surrounding environment to learn what marvelously supportive delicious space feels like, and how to take exquisite care of ourselves. We transform things.* We glow wild.**

* For example: Desire, fear, worry, pain-and-trauma, boundaries, that problematic word which rhymes with flaweductivity.

** Fair warning: Self-fluency has been known to lead to extremely subversive behavior, including treasuring yourself unconditionally, unapologetically taking up space, experiencing outrageously improbable levels of self-acceptance, and general rejoicing in aliveness.


A letter from me today to me a year from now.

A few weeks ago in one of the Very Personal Ads, I asked for “birthday rituals”. Not really knowing what would show up, but just hoping that something would emerge.

And nothing showed up until then it did. I felt drawn to write a letter to me a year from now, and then I asked her to write back to me.

Today is my birthday. And here is the letter I wrote.

Dear me in a year from now,

I feel so close to you, so much love for you. And I’m also a little intimidated by you.

But then I remember that me-last-year was also intimidated by me-now, and that I told her that everything would be okay.

And it was. And here I am.

So let me step out of all this tangle and tell you what I know.

I love you so much.

Everything I do now is for you.

Sometimes I guess wrong, I miscalculate, I overestimate my capacity.

And still, every decision I arrive at has the secret intention to make your life more peaceful and harmonious, more grounded.

I realize, of course, that what you want the most is for me to take care of now-me first.

Because that is how I can be the strongest, healthiest me when I am you. If that makes sense.

And I do.

I do try to take care of now-me. That is one of the many things I want to give you.

What I have learned this year, among other things:

Sacrificing now for what is to come only cripples me-who-is-now. It makes the connection between us more shaky and more hesitant.

So I’m not going to do that anymore.

I nap for you. I stop for you. I flail for you. And also for me.

What I wish for you.

Support, sovereignty, peace, radiance, comfort, spaciousness, grounding, play, possibility, delight, strength, courage, wonder, trust, forgiveness, ease, resilience, flexibility, power, love.

It is clear to me now that you already inhabit these qualities. In fact, I’m pretty sure that your world is more full of these than I can even imagine.

Probably mine is too.

But you see them. You are better at seeing what is already there.

What I do for you.

I pause before each doorway: three, two, one.

Before each transition: three, two, one.

Before bed. Before visiting the river.

What I need from you.

Remind me that my gwishes are valid — that my wanting is legitimate and useful.

Show me how much you benefit from each piece that gets put into place now.

Comfort me when I am fearful.

The planting of the gwishes.

[This is where I listed all the things I want from the coming year.

These are silent gwishes – things that are in between goals and wishes. They have to do with being the queen of my internal world and everything that comes from that.]

What I am giving you.

Signs and reminders.

A flag with an image of take-out food on it.

The rocking chair.

An itinerary for pirate queen holidays.

Colored pencils.

A tiny boat.

This is your year.

I cannot wait to meet you.

Play with me! And comment zen for the blanket fort…

Even if your birthday already happened or isn’t coming for a while (or maybe it is your birthday — hi, Tricia!), you can totally write a letter to you-in-a-year.

It can be as short or as long as you’d like. You can share it here or not. You can follow the structure that came to me or invent your own or just write whatever comes into your head however it wants to appear.

As always: this is a wonderfully safe place. We let everyone have their stuff and their own experience. We make space for people by being welcoming, and not giving unsolicited advice.

Love to the commenter mice, the Beloved Lurkers and everyone who reads. And waving to all the other pisces out there.

Maybe tomorrow I can show you the letter that me-in-a-year-from-now wrote to me. Blowing kisses.

32 Responses to A letter from me today to me a year from now.

  1. helen
    Twitter: SneakyEli

    Happy birthday, Havi! Have a great year! :)

  2. Claire P
    Twitter: making_space


    (A Very Happy Birthday with love from Pooh).


  3. judy says:

    Blessings on your birthday!

  4. Rebecca says:

    Happy birthday, Havi! I especially love your entry today – it’s very similar to an art project I’m doing now, “Note to Self”. Send me the advice you’d like to tell your future/present self and I’ll deliver it:)


    Wishing you peace, health and happiness,

  5. Leslie M-B
    Twitter: lesliemb

    Happy birthday, Havi, and best wishes for an amazing year.

  6. Riin
    Twitter: happyfuzzyyarn

    Happy birthday, Havi! My birthday is rapidly approaching. On the 18th I’ll be 46.

    “Sacrificing now for what is to come only cripples me-who-is-now.” I need to remember this. I need to have it tattooed on my arm or something.

  7. Sanders says:

    Happy birthday to you, Havi!

    Or, as my kids put it:
    Happy birthday to you, CHA CHA CHA!
    Happy birthday to you, CHA CHA CHA!
    Happy birthday Dear Havi!
    Oh la la, it’s your birthday
    Rah rah rah, dance, dance, DANCE!!!

  8. Kylie
    Twitter: kyliewriteshere

    Happiest of happies to Havi now AND Havi a year from now.

    Birthday confetti!

  9. Kathleen Avins
    Twitter: spiralsongkat

    Happy birthday, Havi, with oodles of love!

  10. claire
    Twitter: claireofRA

    May you have a molto groovy birthday, Havi!!!

    We’re almost six months opposite my birthday and the way things have been going of late, I’m reluctant to write to my future self though I have been thinking of her quite often. For now I think my letters to and from will remain less structured and in my head.

    Havi, best wishes to you in the coming year!

  11. Piper Larson says:

    Happy birthday! I love this exercise! Looks like it’s going to be an amazing year for you.

  12. Danielle
    Twitter: somaphile


    Happy birthday!!

  13. jilliankay says:

    Half way through this I started singing “I’ll stop the world and nap with you….you’ve seen the difference and it’s getting better, all the time…There’s nothing you and I can’t do…I’ll stop the world and nap with you…”

    Happy birthday to you! I hope your day is fabulous, and your year is mind-blowingly awesome in the most comfortable, easy, nurturing way possible. Strike that…lets reach for the impossible, it’s better. :)

  14. KarenJL
    Twitter: KarenJL

    Happy Birthday Havi!

    Love and Kwishes to you. :)

  15. Imbrium
    Twitter: nerdknits

    Happy, happy, happy birthday!

  16. Elizabeth
    Twitter: elizabethhalt

    I am definitely going to add this to the list of reflective things I like to do on my birthday. That gives me a month to think about it. :)

    The happiest and most delightful of birthdays to you, dear Havi. Thank you for being you. And may your year be even more full of those qualities than you can imagine.

    Atlas sends not-slobbery birthday kisses.


  17. Romilly
    Twitter: deromilly

    Happy Birthday dearest Havi! May your year be one of Ease and Sovereignty!

    Hugs and Purrs!

  18. Josiane
    Twitter: kimianak

    A very happy birthday to you, Havi! Heartfelt wishes for a day and a year filled with joy, ease, love, and all kinds of the most delightful delights.

  19. Deb
    Twitter: allthingswlove

    Happy Birthday, Havi!

    Lou sends birthday purrs and affectionate kitty snuggles, and I hope that your year is every bit as wonderful as you want it to be! :)

  20. Eve
    Twitter: evejacques

    Oh Havi, this is so beautiful. I’m really inspired by the way you can express love for yourself. I’d like to be there one day (perhaps a year from now… ;)

    Happy birthday, Havi. Much much love to you. xxxxxxxxxxx

  21. risa
    Twitter: lichtstrom_

    I am imagining myself at a beeg parade with oompah oompah tubas and blue-gold confetti and there’s a whole host of dancing poi spinners with purple and red streamers and all of them are chanting:

    Havi’s made another year
    Havi gives us all good cheer
    Doop-de-doop WAHA!

    Happiest of birthdays, and I hope this year is ten times better than your best year ever.

  22. Judy
    Twitter: judy_mac

    Happiest of birthday wishes to Now Havi and Year from now Havi!!

  23. Hiro Boga
    Twitter: HiroBoga

    Happy, happy birthday, dearest Havi. May this year be an ocean of miracles and blessings for you.

    Love, Hiro

  24. Sue T says:

    Oh, happiest of birthdays, Havi!
    Joy and sovereignty, love and peace!

  25. Sandra
    Twitter: sandrajapandra

    Happy happy! This too was wonderful. I’m trying it offline. Me in a year from now seems so far away. Wondering what will come up…

    Haha, love Risa’s song. Doo dah!

  26. Rupa
    Twitter: theyogaofliving

    Wishing you warmth and aloha and the fulfillment of all your gwishes.
    Happy Birthday, Havi! Love always. x

  27. Malwina
    Twitter: madebymalwina

    Do you know this one?

    Heute kann es regnen, stürmen oder schnei’n
    Denn du strahlst ja selber wie der Sonnenschein.
    Heut is dein Geburtstag, darum feiern wir
    Alle deine Freunde freuen sich mit dir…
    Wie schön dass du geboren bist,
    wir hätten dich sonst sehr vermisst.
    Wie schön dass wir beisammen sind,
    wir gratulieren dem Geburtstagskind!!!

    Happy Birthday, dear Havi. Thanks for being you (and showing).

  28. Caroline
    Twitter: Cazzylina

    I want to let you know that I wrote a letter to Me2012 and it gave me a sense of peace and hope and sunlight that I’ve been missing a lot recently. Thank you for your template, your example and your wonderful ideas, the more kookie they are, the more my heart opens up to them, to life.

    Mostly, thanks for being Havi, and I hope you had a glorrrious day.

  29. Lewis aka Note Taking Nerd #2
    Twitter: notetakingnerd

    My my.

    The people who share your life with the you today, must feel special to have this privilege.

    With you already inhabiting these…

    Support, sovereignty, peace, radiance, comfort, spaciousness, grounding, play, possibility, delight, strength, courage, wonder, trust, forgiveness, ease, resilience, flexibility, power, love…

    People who encounter you can’t help but feel drawn to your energy. Especially if you spend the majority of your time focusing on the now, the is-ness that is this moment, embodying these higher self traits.

    This is no easy task and I hope your birthday as well as the rest of the days of your year is celebrated with people who also live those empowering behaviors that you’re inhabiting.

  30. Kathleen Avins
    Twitter: spiralsongkat

    Dear Me-Next-Year:

    I’m sorry if I’ve seemed to be avoiding you. I am a little scared. I have such dreams for you, in a way, and yet on another level I’m afraid to wish for anything specific.

    I’m afraid I’m going to do something horribly wrong and make you miserable.

    I just want to know: is it going to be okay?

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