Commenting: How we play.

Notes on the commenting culture.

This will not come as a surprise…

I care deeply about safe space, play, clear expectations established with love, and the magical thing that is a living, breathing, thriving creative culture.

So instead of a policy, a brief description of how we are together here.

We’re human. We have stuff.

Stuff: pain, fear, worry, grief, doubt.

We’re allowed to have it. And we’re all working on it. It’s a process.

We respect each others’ right to have stuff. We don’t take on other people’s stuff. We don’t project our stuff onto other people.

We make this a safe space for people to have their own experience by going on permanent vacation from (1) advice-giving and (2) care-taking.

We try to meet ourselves where we are and to meet everyone else where they are, with as much compassion and respect as have available.

Comment moderation.

Someone moderates for me who cares as much as I do about presence, compassion, and not throwing shoes.

I never want unsolicited advice (and may have once threatened to kick people in the shins for that), so anything telling me what to do might get deleted.

It happens that legit comments get stuck in the spam filter for a bit. Instead of assuming that your missing comment has been deleted, assume mistake. It’s not about you.

“This is not about me” is an excellent way to approach life.

That’s all I’ve got. Big love. I will see you on the blog.


About questions that I don’t answer….

I love you and I love your question.

These posts are a starting point for play/process. Even if I had the capacity to answer all questions, it would still be more important to me to let you turn inward and get something true for you. And to respect your ability to do that. The answers from your process will be so much more valuable for you than whatever I can give you.

The most love-filled thing I can give you is my trust.

You are wise and capable. You can answer your own questions and invent creative solutions. I trust that completely. Feel free to use the comments as a space to mess around with that, and to ask for what you need (hugs, pebbles, tea) from everyone here. We will give what we can to the extent that we can, because we are all here to take care of ourselves together. I am happy that I get to play with you in community. A big thank you from my thank-you heart.

I borrowed the expression “Comment Zen” from
— ausgerechnet — Tim Ferris who borrowed it from Brian Oberkirch.

The Fluent Self