Back in January. I was in Monterey, teaching a six day Destuckification Retreat, having a ridiculously good time, and also getting pounded by some hardcore shivanautical epiphanies.

Anyway. I knew we needed a Playground. And so I wrote it a love letter.

And we were off!

And now it’s the day before.

This whole time, whenever things got a little insane, I’d tell Selma and my gentleman friend that it’s just like putting on a play.

It never seems like it will be ready. And then boom last minute dress rehearsal opening night curtain goes up and all of a sudden you have a play.

But honestly? I was still not completely convinced it would happen for us.

We open tomorrow. Yesterday morning we still didn’t have lighting, rugs, or a finished stage.

And still. Somehow, it’s all coming together.

At the last minute, exactly as it should.

We magically found the exact right number of eco-friendly carpet remnants to cover the stage.

Which saved us $160. And that turned out to be perfect because that was exactly how much we needed for the ancient, fabulous, insane floor lamps.

Then my gentleman friend found the most perfect pirate-ey chest at a consignment shop.

The right tablecloth turned up in a grocery store, of all places.

The beverage dispenser thing-ey needed to be raised and there was nothing to put it on. But then I found the exact right sized box.

And remembered that half yard of goofy sailing ship cloth that I bought just in case of something something. And it worked.

We oozed our fair share of blood, sweat and tears, but by late last night we had something that looked more or less like a Playground.

We’ve done the hard part.

All the internal and external stuff to prepare for the arrival of something you really want.

All the things you have to make safe for a tiny, sweet thing with tiny, sweet toes.

I had to make room for the part of me who thinks that if something good happens, something bad must follow.

We invoked some serious protection.

Then there was the first welcoming. The almost-baby shower.

And the pirate monkey barn-raising that turned into a fun-brewing party.

And everyone has been helping.

Our sweet Willie illustrated monsters!

And Malwina made us pirate-ey cushions and is sending them from The Netherlands.

Tara the Blonde Chicken is teaching a class on pricing to raise fun and funds for us.

You guys have sent love and wishes and jumped up and down with happiness for me. You’ve sent monies and cards and sometimes even sock monkeys.

Plus extraordinary help from Hiro (whose clairvoyant abilities also helped us find the space to begin with).

I thought I knew what grateful felt like.

But it’s like discovering a new color. The warmth in my heart is so … huge. Thank you.

Also my gentleman friend.

Thank you, my love. For many things. But especially for:

  • going along with my hare-brained schemes, often even enthusiastically.
  • painting and scrubbing and lifting and arranging and doing mysterious things with power tools.
  • building the most beautiful stage a Shiva Nata teacher could ever want.
  • talking me down from some scary places.
  • appreciating my kooky ideas and for making me laugh.
  • believing in me and my work.

Tomorrow at noon we begin.

There’s still a lot to do. Cue hysterical laughter. Yeeeeees.

The ship’s wheel arrives today. The meditation cushions are late. We have to drive around the city picking stuff up from PDX etsy-ites.

And buy curtains. And put up shelves.

Also, at this point I could probably write volumes about the difference between an internet business and having a live space.

So many things you need that I hadn’t even thought of. Like a vacuum cleaner and a really tall ladder.

And seventeen thousand pairs of scissors because somehow you can never find one when you need it.

So there’s a lot to happen before collapsing in bed tonight.

So it’s not about being done.

Because hahahahahaha. And also because we still need to put in the yoga floor before the next group arrives.

And get more supplies.

So yes. There is still much raising of fun and funds to be done, and so the fun brewing extravaganza continues.

But this feeling of hey this is really and truly working is here. It showed up last night around 9:00 pm, and I still felt it this morning when I got up.

I’ll try and post pictures tomorrow or Sunday. In the meantime, thank you for being a part of this with me.

Whenever things got hard or weird or overwhelming, I thought about the crazy great thing that is this space.

How much I adore you guys.

And what a safe, comfortable, loving place we’ve built here. And that if it’s possible to do something like that online, whatever would happen in person would be incredible.

That’s it.

I have to go do a thing with Hope the realtor of hopefulness. And decorate the Refueling Station.

And pick up juice glasses and buy lemons and clean clean clean clean clean.

Oh, and I’m also teaching a teleclass today for some reason. So yes, that’s hilarious.

In the meantime, I will be here too.

Thank you for being with me while I do this. It means everything to me.

You guys!

The Fluent Self