If you hang out here a bunch, you’re probably wondering why I haven’t mentioned Naomi-my-internet-crush (aka Itty Biz) obsessively constantly lately in a while.

That’s because we’ve been secretly hanging out and engaging in passionate make-out sessions discussions. Discussions. Hot and heavy discussions. About interesting things.

Actually we have been brewing up a little something that is tough and powerful and hot.

But wait! I must backtrack.

If you don’t know Naomi yet … well, given that a big chunk of my readers are gentle spirits who, like me, are into yoga, self-work, and deep, intentional looking inward … it seems only fair to warn you.

Here’s the thing. Naomi is a potty mouth.

I love her to death and her cussing up a storm doesn’t bother me, but it wouldn’t be right not to let you know.

Did I say potty mouth? She curses like a sailor. Also, she called my duck a whore.

There’s actually a blog cussometer website that measures how much you swear on your blog — a site I hesitate to link to because: oh boy, time suck — and her ranking is a gazillion percent.

A gazillion? It’s 900% higher than that of most blogs. Close enough.

Yeah, I know I don’t exactly have wings and a halo here (my own blog is, after all, a place where “kosher-ass” is considered an acceptable adjective), but still. Nine hundred percent.

And she called my duck a whore.

I really cannot overemphasize that point. Although, to her credit, Selma did not seem to mind being dragged in the mud like that. It was like water off her back. No ruffled feathers there.

Ouch. See? Cursing is so much better than duck jokes. Not that I’m trying to distract you (I’m totally trying to distract you), but there are more important things in life than whether or not you’re a potty mouth.

Why I love Naomi and why you should too and then getting to the point.

      1. She’s super smart.

      No. She’s more than that. Naomi is a small business marketing genius.

      She knows a million useful things about how to market things, how to put yourself out there, and how to be successful doing it. And in a zero-sleaze, fully-authentic, non-irritating way. Which, let’s face it, is shockingly unusual in the world of internets.

      2. She knows her stuff like crazy.

      Every single time she gives me advice, good things happen to my business. Fast.

      I’ve had mentors. I’ve worked with business coaches. I’ve taken classes. She blows all that stuff out of the water.

      3. She makes you happy when you’re miserable.
      Remember when I was all sad because I was breaking up with my noozletter?

      And everyone was telling me that this was the stoopidest and craziest thing I could do to my business? Guess what Naomi said?

    So rock the f*ck on with the no newsletter. Nobody reads newsletters. And they make people feel guilty.

    Because you signed up for it, you feel like you have some kind of cosmic obligation, whether to the writer or to yourself, to actually read it. But you’re busy, so you let like nine of them pile up and then you start resenting the sender like it’s their fault you can’t get off your ass to read your email.

See? She’s like a fun, drunk Canadian version of me. But curse-ier.

How is she like me? Let me count the creepy ways. Like me, she’s a Pisces. Actually her birthday is one day after mine. She’s a helper-mouse who genuinely cares about other people, and wants to use her powers for good. And she has my old haircut.

Weird, huh? Also, did I mention that my middle name is Naomi? It is. Weird, huh? I’ve got to stop saying that.

But mostly she just thinks intently and passionately about things I care about. We come to different conclusions occasionally but we hang out on pretty much all the same wavelengths, and that’s the important thing.

If I weren’t me and a yoga freak and all that stuff, I would probably be her. Luckily I don’t have to, because she’s doing such an impressive job of it.

And (drum roll please) here’s the scoop:

We’re going to be collaborating. Not in the creepy way though. More like: combining jedi forces to do good in the world and help people we like.

What happened was this:

We were on the phone, talking about how freaking tragic it is when people we love have an idea for a cool thing — or maybe they’re already doing the cool thing — but then they can’t promote it because promoting it is scary and overwhelming and uncomfortable.

And I was saying how I wished she could zap my clients with her ninja marketing skills and genius ideas.

And she was saying how she wished I could zap her clients with my calming-the-heck-down dust and smart yet wacky how-to techniques.

It was clear we had to do something.

And it was clear that this something should also be out there for people who aren’t our clients and who would never even think of hiring us because it’s too scary or too expensive or all sorts of other things. Because it’s not fair to them that they don’t get access to this stuff.

This something had to be the most accessible, affordable, full of awesome how-to-ish-ness program ever, so that we could facilitate breakthroughs and give people structure and support and work with people we think are fun.

Like, how to work through terror, overwhelm and rampant what-if-ization to feel safe, comfortable and supported doing the thing … all rolled into six weeks of study.

So we went to work.

It’s a boy! I mean, it’s a program.

Right. And what got born was the course I wish I had taken three years ago before learning everything the hard way. Really good stuff.

Anyway, here’s what I want you to do. If the theme of self-promotion for people who can’t stand promoting anything and don’t want to be gross but also would like to make some money sounds like something that might be up your alley …. take a look.

There’s a discount-ey thing for people I like. (IMPORTANT)

Naomi and I figured that we should be able to charge less when it comes to people we think are awesome. And actually, I kind of think that everyone who reads this is awesome.

So should you want to do our how to promote the cool thing you do without being gross and/or getting tangled in scary, overwhelming horribleness, yay. And then you can write the word havi in the shopping cart where it asks you for a coupon code, and it knocks $30 off the price.

(Actually, write havi in there first and press “apply” before you do anything else. That way there’s no chance of something going weird.)

This program thingie? Really fun. Yes, wildly helpful with seriously useful stuff, but also: there will be fun.

So drink boring non-alcoholic champagne with me in the comments, and then come play — because this is for you.