Friday chickenBecause it’s Friday AGAIN. And because traditions are important. In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of self-reflection.

And you get to join in if you feel like it.

Wow. What an overwhelming week in every possible way. Overwhelmingly great, overwhelmingly hard.

I’m kind of shaking my head at the whole thing in a mixture of shock, awe, dismay and “maybe I’ll have more to say once I catch up on sleep.”

Since I spent most of this week and most of my energy At The Kitchen Table, most of today’s chicken check-in is centered there.

I guess some other stuff happened too. Let’s see …

The hard stuff

Exhausted.

Didn’t sleep well this week.

Makes everything foggier. Screws with my morning meditation and with yoga.

And then, despite how annoying it is, you kind of forget about it.

I’ve been noticing that I can stay in grumblebug mode for a while until something reminds me to stop and say, “Oh, right. That’s why I’m having all this hard today.”

The Kitchen Table. It is as big a project as I’d been scaring myself with.

During the months and months of planning this huge, huge project, I had to work through mad amounts of stucknesses and general fears about growth.

And one of my biggest fears was really just … holy crap, this is the biggest thing I’ve ever done … what if it’s too big for me?

It really is big.

We have 80 people. I’m actually shutting the doors until the next quarter, maybe longer, because this is as big as I want it for right now.

Eventually I’ll share with you guys my List Of Jackass Mistakes I’ve Made … though at this point I’m kind of leaning towards a “you can’t think of everything” philosophy.

Which is kind of getting on my nerves too.

Oof! You can’t think of everything!

Before I launched this impossibly huge program, I hired people like crazy to help me with it.

And one of the people I hired was Charlie, which was a great idea because he’s very methodical and has the whole army background and serious leadership skills. Plus he’s a philosopher so those other things don’t make me hate him.

Anyway, Charlie is absolutely wonderful and we did all sorts of strategic planning together. What if this happens. What if that happens. What’s our Plan B and Plan C and Plan D for these scenarios.

And so on.

And thank goodness because otherwise the whole thing would have remained a twinkle in my eye.

But of course none of those things we strategized for have happened and a gazillion things we never could have thought of have come up instead.

Yeah, I know we’re going to be able to work through all of them but right now am feeling really bowled over by all the challenges.

Also, I find it quite irritating that one can’t think of everything. Why not?!?!

Don’t answer that.

Success: just as challenging as failure.

So one of the things Charlie and I strategized for was the forum environment.

How it should look, how it should feel, how to create a sense of safety and home. How to make sure it doesn’t become uncomfortable in … again, every way we could think of.

I wrote a really fun guidebook and had three people edit it. Blah blah blah.

But really a lot of our thinking around the forum was centered on “how do we make it active?

Well, it never occurred to any of us that out of the first 75 people, about 65 of them would be really, really active in the forum areas without any prodding or help from us.

I’ve been involved in online forum thingies for years and have never, ever seen anything like this. And everyone there is saying the same thing.

Last night I was in there at 11 p.m. (yes, way past bedtime), and I just checked in again (it’s 6 a.m. as I’m writing this) and there are 45 unread posts since then.

I’d set up all sorts of structures and created all sorts of plans for things not taking off, but now I need structures for the thing I never expected to happen.

My poor sweet Kitchen Table-ers are overwhelmed, my group leaders are overwhelmed, I’m overwhelmed. We’re working on it, but it’s hard.

And that’s just one of the many “not thinking big enough” mistakes I’ve made.

Let’s move on to the good stuff before I grasp the terrifying enormity of this again and start bawling.

The good stuff

The Kitchen Table.

Every single one of the people who have joined this program is just amazing. Amazing is not an adequate word.

I have never in all my life been privileged to spend time with a group of people like this one. I love them all. Wholeheartedly.

They’re interesting, thoughtful, caring, compassionate, insightful … fun. All of them. I can’t get over it.

I can’t even tell you how many of the applications made me cry because they were so wonderful.

No idea what I’ve done to have so many special people come into my life and into my business, but I’m going to try and keep doing it.

Wow.

CrankyPants McGrumbleBug’s Kvetchtastic Whine Bar!

The smartest thing I did at the Kitchen Table was set up a designated space for people (and me) to bitch and moan loudly and get hugs … without anyone throwing advice at you or anything.

It’s pretty much my favorite place to hang out in the entire world. And now I will stop talking (finally, sorry) about my new baby.

I have an Angel Refueling Station!

Okay, I have to mention the Kitchen Table one more time because that’s where I got this idea, from one of the fabulous participants.

He said, “Even angels need refueling stations!”

And I thought, huh, where’s mine?

So I have this empty closet in my office. And now it’s my angel refueling station. I put a sign on the door to that effect. And there are some pillows. Pillows!

My gentleman friend saw the sign and said “?????????”

To which I said, “You know, an angel refueling station.”

And he said, “Angels? Now you’re bringing angels into the house?”

And I said, “No, silly. It’s for me and Selma!”

And then we had tea. Possibly with some angels.

Ez lives here!

Eventually I’m going to have to stop announcing this each week because I’ll get used to it, but having my brother living with us is just so, so perfect.

I LOVE HIM!

The fun. It is out of control.

A yoga thing. Oh hooray. I love this.

So this is weird because as you know, I kind of hate stuff. And hardly ever buy things.

And I tend to especially dislike yoga-related stuff because, you know, it’s yoga. You don’t need stuff to do yoga.

So the whole yoga-merchandise industry gets on my nerves like nobody’s business.

Meanwhile, I’m flying to Austin this week for a yoga retreat* which means mats. And a bag to carry them in.

My bag … falling apart completely.

And then I found the most perfect, beautiful bag in the entire world and I am madly in love with it. So there!

Arrived this week and I could not be happier about it.

*Just apologizing in advance to anyone there for the fact that I won’t have time to see you because it’s mad yoga the whole time. But I’ll be there for SXSW, okay?

One last thing!

Last day to register for Cairene’s Bite The Candy course!

It’s time management stuff but not the the stressful and annoying kind.

I am a hardcore fan of her work (and overjoyed that she agreed to be a Group Leader in the Kitchen). This class is so reasonably priced it’s actually unreasonable.

That’s it for me …

And yes yes yes, of course you can join in my Friday ritual right here in the comments bit if you feel like it.

Yeah? Anything hard and/or good happen in your week?

And, as always, have a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious weekend. And a happy week to come.