Friday chickenBecause it’s Friday AGAIN. And because traditions are important. In which I cover the good stuff and the hard stuff in my week, trying for the non-preachy, non-annoying side of self-reflection.

And you get to join in if you feel like it.

Well, I’ll say this much.

It was an interesting week, but maybe the first in a long time when the mix of working and playing was closer to the thing I want/wish/hope for.

I’m really glad to be here. Missed you guys this week.

The hard stuff


It’s really my least favorite feeling.

That kind of low, watchful, pit of the stomach thing.

We had to do a lot of monster negotiating to work through that.

Stifled. Or the perception of being stifled.

There was a lot going on for me this week, some of it stuff which — for a wide variety of reasons — I couldn’t talk about here.

And even though I have complete freedom to talk about pretty much anything else, the net result was that my creative self was really not in the mood to come out from hiding.

Almost as if the part of me that was perceiving itself to be squashed/marginalized/silenced didn’t want any of the other parts to get to play.

It sucked.

I had lots of things to say, and they just wouldn’t come into form.

Having to make hard choices.

And all at once.

Saying no to things, canceling things, postponing things and revising things.

Each of which is ultimately something good for me and for the business, but the act of cutting the cords involved a long and difficult process.

Wanting to be appreciated.


The Playground still doesn’t have heating.

And we have the Shiva Nata teacher training coming up next weekend. Stupid space heaters is not what I want (though thanks to everyone who has donated — you’re awesome!).


The usual thing about horses and leading them to water.

Need to do some more creative thinking about this one.

The good stuff

A real weekend! Pineapple Upside Down days! I did it!

So you know how I’ve been wanting a wheel reekend since, oh, October?

It happened.

And it was lovely.

Two full days without internet, computering, work of any shape or form.

Thank you. Bliss.

Roller Derby!

Super fun, as always. And Portland’s Wheels of Justice beat the Detroit Derby Girls 197-75.


Oh and then F.C. Union beat Hertha, much to the surprise (and joy!) of everyone I know in Berlin, so take that! Basically, last weekend rocked.

Being in the zone. Finally.

The Schwung! I found it. It’s back.

And I managed to be insanely productive, despite all the weird and unlikely things working against that.

Lots of clearing the decks, too.

Finished up two projects that had been hanging, and made big crazy progress on a third.

This is such an unlikely against-all-odds thing to be reporting. I can hardly believe it myself.

But stuff came together at the right place and the right time, and I’m feeling happy and relieved about that.

Outrageous shivanautical epiphanies.

Because we’re working on the Shivanautica Secret Lab, I’ve been triple-checking all the number sequences, and doing stuff way out of order.

Like, doing Level 6 twice, then Level 2, Then half of Level 5.

The moments of bing have been binging out of control.

So many huge realizations this week. It was like twenty years of therapy condensed into a few days.

Intense, but amazing. Because now so many things make sense.


Went to Powell’s and brought back a giant bag of books for the Playground library.

I’ve been reading up a storm all week.

Took the day off on Toozday.

Admittedly, the reason I couldn’t work on Toozday was hardly celebratory and actually completely depressing.

But the day I gave myself was beautiful.

Good food, good books, time in the hammock. And mostly: no pressure.

This is something that is usually pretty hard, so ten thousand sparklepoints for me.

My people being really understanding.

Even though I was making difficult changes and difficult announcements all week, my people were so sweet about it.

Everyone made allowances, and were really appreciative and helpful.

I feel so fortunate and happy when I think about that!

I worked through something that I’d thought couldn’t be worked through.

It’s a mix of exhaustion and a feeling of accomplishment.

Kind of like finishing a marathon that you didn’t really want to run to begin with, but you still feel proud and happy about being where you are.

Taking some time to appreciate that.

And … playing live at the meme beach house it’s the Fake Band of the Week!

My brother and I have this thing where we come up with ridiculous band names and then say in this really pretentious, knowing tone, “Oh, well, you know, it’s just one guy.”

This week’s band is — thankfully — not taken from my life at all.

Unfortunate Dayjob Episode

Unless running a company counts as having a day job?

Anyway, they rock hard. And, oddly enough, it’s actually only just one guy.

That’s it for me …

And yes yes yes, of course you can join in my Friday ritual right here in the comments bit if you feel like it.

Yeah? Anything hard and/or good happen in your week?

And, as always, have a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day and a restful weekend-ing.

And a happy week to come. Shabbat shalom.

The Fluent Self