Friday chicken

A look at the good and the hard in my week, a ritual of reflecting.

It is Friday and we are here.

{a breath for Friday.}

What worked this week?

Proxies and cover identities!

At Rally (Rally!), we make up cover stories and use proxy missions.

So this week I was secretly working on a big writing project, but my cover story was that I am Yvette West, Fashion Editor by day and burlesque chorus girl by night, because Yvette, like me, has too many jobs.

On the surface, that’s the only thing we have in common, and yet — of course — it turned out that her challenges are my challenges, and her insights are my treasure.

I dressed like Yvette at Rally too, and yes, costumes are incredibly powerful, and going undercover was wild and fun and full of unexpected treasure.

Next time I might…

Remember that All Timing Is Right Timing and Not Everything Is About Timing.

Rushing is the opposite of trusting.

That doesn’t mean I always need to choose slowness. Sometimes I can pick up the pace: Ketzev 8!

It just means: rushing is at best not necessary and often counter-productive. There is time.

Eight breaths for the hard, challenging and mysterious.

  1. This week is the last of the Alphabet Carousel Rallies. And the last of four and a half years of rallying. For the first time since 2005, I don’t know when I’m teaching next. This feels very disorienting. I am going to miss this. A breath for letting go to give the new thing space to come in.
  2. Cards on the table. Asking. A breath for trusting that honesty is always the right answer. It really is the right answer. Even when the monsters are whispering about how This Is A Terrible Mistake.
  3. Fall Is In The Air. The other day Agent Anna had a fall, and then I had a fall. The literal kind where you end up with scrapes and bruises, though I think these falls may also be an extreme form of tripping. A breath for presence, and for releasing the need to learn through pain.
  4. Running smack into some old patterns, fear, worry and doubt, in new contexts. Noticing all the ways this is not helpful. A breath for paying attention to what I need.
  5. Clearing out, in a big way. It’s important and more than a little scary. A breath for trusting that all this making room is exactly what is needed for the new beautiful things to land.
  6. I really want my future-confidence vis a vis dance (“I am going to be so amazing at this!”) to start showing up in my current dancing. A breath for trusting the process.
  7. [Silent retreat]. A breath for deep trust, in all things.
  8. Inhale, exhale. Goodbye (and thank you), mysteries and hard moments of this week.

Eight breaths of good, reassuring, delight-filled.

  1. Feeling peaceful and happy in my pleasure bubble. Peaceful and sweet. A breath for the pleasure bubble.
  2. So many things contributed to the pleasure bubble this week. Waltz magic to live music. Gazelle state. Many sweet hours of yoga on the floor. Hiding in the vault. Wild sexy spirals at Rally. Old Turkish Lady yoga. Dancing on Wednesday night and suddenly having good dances with everyone instead of just a few people. Also this week I had the best dance lesson of my entire life, no exaggeration, it was nothing less than transcendent. A breath for this body that I live in, and for treasuring my body with things that are good for me.
  3. That was a pretty incredible smoothie. A breath for the full-body thrill of taste, texture, temperature, sensation, shared pleasure and delight.
  4. Along with all the sadness, there is also joy: I’m not [verb]-ing any Rallies, or anything at all for the next several months! A breath for spaciousness, freedom, possibility, the spark of newness, the longing for new adventures.
  5. A leisurely breakfast with my beloved Max, followed by a long peaceful walk interspersed with wisdom and giggling. I love her so much. A breath for love, and for my wish of daily life being like the Vicarage, which came true for a whole day!
  6. In the spirit of “and then something even better happens”, I am sailing in new waters where there is Sweetness and Sovereignty and Honesty and Steaminess and Presence and Intention and Magic, all the good things. Not to mention the hidden superpowers of cards on the table. Wow. A breath of thank you for the right companion for a wild adventure.
  7. Rally Z (Rally! Rally!) has been mind-blowingly full of treasure. It might be my favorite Rally. I’ve said that a lot, but this really is the perfect way to end this voyage. A breath for This Is So Right.
  8. Thankfulness. Overflowing with thank-you. Haha, I accidentally wrote overglowing, which might even be more accurate. So let’s just say it: I am feeling pretty damn blissful right now. This is a new feeling. I like it. And I am being really clear about the yes of yes and the no of no, and it feels so good. I am enjoying my writing projects instead of fighting with them. Incoming me is a badass. Marisa is back in town! My body fell with luck and wisdom, and I didn’t get hurt, just a couple scrapes. A shot of ginger-lemon-echinacea-cayenne that felt like a whole-body healing. So many lovely surprises. So many things are beautiful. Nothing is wrong. Now is not then. All Timing Is Right Timing. A full happy breath of deep appreciation in my thank-you heart.

WHAM BOOM! Operations completed.

The phrase Whoosh Ha Mastodon Boom is secret agent code that means: this thing is done! It is often shortened to wham-boom. You may also shout (or whisper) other joyous words if you like.

More work on the Sip Hint Learn books. Operation 33 Keys is even better than I’d imagined. Clues about 2015: taking lots of notes. Wham Boom.

Revisiting some wise important words of truth from past-me.

This post about doing things in grand fashion. I can’t believe I forgot about this when it is so vitally important.

Good thing Yvette remembered! Experimenting with this changed everything for me this week.


Powers I had this week…

Trusting the process. Trusting the timing. Well-costumed. Zanzibar!

Superpowers I want.

I always forget how powerful it is to invent/name superpowers until I’m at Rally where we name them and get them. So I want the superpower of I Always Remember To Invoke Extra Superpowers!

The superpower of Theatrical Spectaculars! The superpower of I get a parade! The superpower of everything…in style! The superpower of Self-Ripening Wisdom. The superpower of Everything Is Happening in a Grand Fashion because that’s how I do things, baby, like a fairground stripper!

Yeah! All of those. And while I’m at it, let’s have some of these too:

I Boldly Glow. Ablaze With Fearless Intentional Choice-Making. I Have Everything I Need. Wildly Confident, Outrageously Beautiful, Wonderfully Tranquil. I Do Not Dim My Spark For Anyone.

The Salve of I Do Not Dim My Spark.

This salve dissolves any temptation to apologize for being who you are, as you are.

When I rub it into my skin, everything that does not enhance my ability to experience my light becomes obvious and unnecessary.

This salve does not only brighten your spark, it also shines light on all of the invisible glue holding together the walls of Things That Are Not True.

For example, you can put on this salve and suddenly see that no, there is no need to lose weight to wear the thing you want to wear, and also the entire concept of “weight” and “losing” it is just bullshit cultural craziness that has nothing to do with truth.

And once you can see that, all the invisible glue, all the rules, assumptions and expectations that we agree to, all those things that keep us from glowing our glow…well, they just start to seem irrelevant.

Of course you aren’t going to dim your spark for these vague internal and external rules that aren’t actually based in anything. Of course the way to unraveling those rules and their false power is by agreeing to glow more.

This salve reminds me of the woman on the plane who said I ain’t a slave to nobody or nothing.

She was right. This is the salve for that. I do not dim my spark for anyone or anything.

Clean and clear knowing. Ablaze with intention. Not angry about this, not resentful, not filled with shame about all the spark-dimming I have done in my life up until now. No. Just knowing truth: here is my spark and I am done with the dimming patterns.

These salves can’t be seen, but the production factory delivers enough for distribution by way of the magic of the internet, so help yourself. There is enough.

If salve does not appeal, you can have this in tea form, as a bath, cocktail, whatever works for you. Not only is there enough salve, there are also enough ways to receive it.

Playing live at the meme beach house — the Fake Band of the Week!

My brother and I make up bands, which are all just one guy. The Meme Beach House is the venue.

This week’s band comes via Agent E, and it’s called Distracted By Juice. It’s an indie garage band that does plaintive-yet-loud covers of Harry Connick Jr songs. And you know what’s interesting? It’s just one guy.

Attenzione! Attention, AGENTS.

While I was in my deep panic last week, I used what works best for me: the Emergency Calm Down Right Away techniques.

So I want to seed a reminder that this is a thing, and it helps, a lot. Not just with calming down in the moment but with building the kind of habits that allow you to change your relationship with whatever is scary or uncomfortable.

I hardly ever recommend these because the page is already many years old and needs rewriting. However, copywriting aside, this is still one of the best things I have ever made, by a lot. I have two boxes in my office full of the sweetest thank you notes from people, and so many of them are for this.

Come play if you like…

Join me in the comments. Some of us share hard and good, some of us say hi, or maybe we’re on silent retreat. My ritual doesn’t have to be your ritual. Whatever works for you. Almost three hundred weeks of this and there still isn’t a right way.

Everyone belongs. We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. We don’t give advice.

Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.

Shabbat shalom.

p.s. It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — join in whenever you like, it’s no big deal. And I am blowing kisses to the Beloved Lurkers. I love that you are here too.

The Fluent Self