very personal adsPersonal ads! They’re … personal! Very.

So my itty bitty personal ads made me realize that it’s time to make a regular practice of trying to feel okay asking for stuff.

Ever since I posted the first one asking my perfect house to find me, which united me with Hoppy House, I have been a fan of the madness that is personal ads.

And now it’s my weekly ritual. Yay, ritual!

Alright. Let’s do it.

Thing 1: Representation.

Here’s what I want:

An agent.

Not for my Shivanaut Manual — for the next book I’m going to write.

It will have some combination of my self-help-ey bits and biggification genius and it will be brilliant.

Yes, I know that a few weeks ago I couldn’t even get Writer Me to stop cackling and last week I couldn’t say in a voice louder than a whisper that I was a writer, but I’m ready now.

My agent is kind, sensible, knowledgeable, creative, goofy and has a wicked sense of humor. And is, at least in some ways, one of my Right People.

We will have the best time ever working together and it will be a fabulously successful collaboration of kookiness and wonder.

Ways this could come to me:

One of my smart book-writing author-ey friends (like Jen or Pam or Chris or Jonathan) could hook me up with the perfect connection.

Or maybe … through this blog.

Or through my network of connector mice. Or at my favorite bar (yes, Twitter).

Or in some way I haven’t thought of yet which will manage to be so completely, ridiculously laugh-out-loud perfect that it will become a beautiful tiny little story of its own.

Anything else. I’m staying open to surprises.

Here’s how I want to get it:

I would like a sign. Or a sign-like thing. That would work too.

And, ideally, the right person will contact Marissa through my lovely, lovely contact page.

My commitment.

I will give time, love and attention to Writer Me and to the book (books?) that are growing inside of me.

I will try to be all loving and nurturing with myself during the process (or to at least notice when I’m not and when I can’t and try to let that be okay).

And we will laugh together. Me and this wonderful agent and the book that gets to be born.

Thing 2: Quiet time to decompress.

Here’s what I want:

I’m really, really needing recovery time after the Retreat.

So I want:

Help gently reminding myself to spend more time in my Angel Refueling Station.

Patience and love from my Kitchen Table people when it takes me a little longer to respond to things.


Ways this could work:

It could just be kind of a quiet week.

Maybe the little reminders I plant all over my website that say hey, I’m still on email sabbatical will have some sort of magical effect.

Maybe my beautiful week of Retreat-ing and retreating with Jen will make it easier for me to say no to things that aren’t soothing and quiet.

Maybe I will go on a writer’s date with Shannon.

My commitment.

I will remind myself that quiet is a value.

And I will take time to check in with myself and make sure I’m getting enough of it.

More permission to work on reaching a higher level of Naptitude (can’t remember who said that on Twitter, but boy is it ever sticky).

Oh, and I will ask my brother and my gentleman friend to remind me to go to bed extra-early.

Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.

Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.

Still no word on the day I am looking for to honor my friend who is dead. But I’m feeling less anxious about it and am trusting that I will know what to do when it is time.

And, moving to other things I have asked for, I have two pretty amazing things to report:

Two weeks ago I asked for a tech wizard for my pirate ship.

And the person we ended up working with was so immensely capable, so astonishingly good at doing the thing that I am in awe.

Not only did she fix the big, huge, awful problem that we had been throwing time and money at for a couple of months, but she fixed a bunch of other things we didn’t even know needed fixing.

I cannot even express how grateful I feel for this Very Personal Ad space, for bringing this exactly-right person to my business.

And last week I asked for help with getting in the zone and working on my Shivanaut Manual, so I could give my dear, sweet, abandoned book the love it deserved.

It was awesome. I dance of Shiva-ed it up. I worked on my book every day at the Writer’s Retreat when I wasn’t teaching. I broke up with my table of contents.

I let it be fun.

So now it’s a totally different thing than it used to be. Also than I thought it was going to be. And it’s so close to being done that I can taste it. Joy!

Comments. Since I’m already asking …

I am adding to my practice of asking for stuff by being more specific about I would like to receive in the comments. And that way, if you feel like leaving one (you totally don’t have to), you get to be part of this experiment too. :)

Here’s what I want:

  • Your own personal ads, small or large. Things you’ve asked for. Or are asking for. Or would like to ask for.
  • Thoughts or ideas about ways any of the personal ads listed here could come true.

What I would rather not have:

  • Reality theories.
  • Shoulds. As in, “You should be doing it like this” or “That’s not the right way to ask for things — instead it should be like x, y and z”
  • To be judged or psychoanalyzed.

My commitment.

I am committing to getting better at asking for things even when asking feels weird. I’m committing to giving time and thought to the things that people say, and I will interact with their ideas and with my own stuff as compassionately and honestly as is possible for me.

So happy that you guys do this with me! Yay, Very Personal Ads.

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