very personal adsPersonal ads! They’re … personal! Very.

So my itty bitty personal ads made me realize that it’s time to make a regular practice of trying to feel okay asking for stuff.

Even when the asking thing feels weird and conflicted.

Ever since I posted the first one asking my perfect house to find me, which united me with Hoppy House, I have been a fan of the madness that is personal ads.

And now it’s my weekly ritual. Yay, ritual!

Let’s do this thing.

Thing 1: the zone (again!)

Here’s what I want:

To move through some of the fog.

To deal with some uncomfortable situations.

To trust myself and go with what I know.

Ways this could work:

Crazy shivanautical epiphanies from doing Dance of Shiva.

Remembering to stop working. A lot.

Long walks. Insights on long walks. Or in the shower.

Remembering to follow my own advice.

My commitment.

Doing the best I can.

Thing 2: Sovereignty, baby.

Here’s what I want:

The short explanation of the sovereignty thing is not giving a damn what other people think because you’re owning your space, your body, your life.

The short version of the situation I’m in right now is that two people owe me a chunk of money, and they don’t seem to want to do anything about it.

So what I want is to get better at standing up for myself and being really firm and clear about what needs to happen.

But while not getting sucked into bitter/angry/depressed mode.

And I want these two situations to get sorted with ease. And a simple resolution that doesn’t piss me off. Would be nice.

Ways this could happen:

I’m open to perfect, simple solutions.

I’d like a big, crazy dose of the sovereignty stuff (or to get better at connecting to it).

Basically, something that can shift this pattern of feeling sorry for the other person involved to the point that I don’t take care of myself.

Also, a holiday could be nice.

My commitment.

To give a clear ask with a clear deadline. And to be strong.

To pay attention. To call a time out for myself when I need it.

To stop and regroup. To give myself full permission to not like things the way they are right now.


Oh yes.

I was going to write a whole post about businesses I support.

Because if people are going to be getting stuff for the holidays anyway, they might as well know about businesses that are Havi-approved as being cool.

But then I didn’t.

So I’m writing a mini-personal-ad for them.

These are some of the businesses I’d love to see thrive this year. My sincere hope is to see them biggify in a safe, comfortable, enjoyable way. Yes, that is my wish.

And if you’re looking for cool stuff? This is the place. Yay.

Best. Socks. Ever.

Oh, I am a fan. Sock Dreams.

Portland company, woman-owned, completely awesome. This is where I buy fansocks for people I admire.

Sovereignty spray.

And Healthy Boundaries. These crazy, wonderful sprays from Deborah are weird and fabulous.

Love them.


I’m not such a huge make-up person (surprise!) but I am mad about this company.

No chemicals, all gorgeous, they recycle. And they’re in Portland. So they’re also shockingly nice. Sparkly!


I already talk about Tara the blonde chicken all the damn time so there isn’t much else to say.

Other than my god have you seen her yarn? She makes it. I know! Plus now she has the Learn to Knit kit so really, there’s no excuse. How are you going to make me fansocks if you don’t learn to knit?!


I love this typewriter necklace from Insane Jellyfish Designs (who made my beautiful Pirate Queen chain).

And there are totally great lockets from Locket 2 You (look at the elephant on the bicycle!)

Wonderful body things.

I get Lisa’s magical salts for soaking.

And am in love with creamy, healthy, happy stuff from Dress Green.

Also got some good things from Aquarian Bath.

And I know Heidi will be biggifying this year with her excellent Aardvark potions (I’ve gotten samples and they are fabulous — pay attention to her!)

Learning things.

Obviously I approve of my own Non-Sucky Yoga package. Good gift for yourself.

You can also give the gift of Wendy — tech support and wordpress stuff. Good if you’re at the start of the biggification process or know someone else who is.

Or you can learn about yourself and good ways to do stuff differently. I know lots of good coaches, and since my waiting list is a million miles long, let me recommend some people I think rock:

Re: Stuff for me.

Oh god. Please don’t get me stuff for Hannukah. I wrote about this last year.*

* Just reread this and realized I’ve repeated some recommendations. That made me smile. Guess the good stuff is still good.

But while we’re on the subject, if you must send me presents not at holiday time, you can’t go wrong with fansocks. Or supporting knitters (I approve of ball of yarn and pixie bell).

That’s it.

Also, in case you (or the FCC) are wondering, none of these people/businesses have any idea that I’m promoting them and no, I don’t get anything from them in return.

Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.

No major updates since last time.

Let’s see. So I asked for Right People for my fabulous Destuckification Retreat, but I haven’t officially announced it yet. They’re probably waiting in the wings.

And I had an ask about not feeling bad about wanting a vanity table.

Still no table (though the gentleman friend found some excellent possibilities), but I don’t feel even slightly bad about wanting one. So in that sense, a shift. Yes.

And I talked up Tara’s Learn To Knit Kit, and a bunch of people became Blonde Chicken fans. Which is a good thing. Whew.

Comments. Since I’m already asking …

I am adding to my practice of asking for stuff by being more specific about what I would like to receive in the comments. And that way, if you feel like leaving one (you totally don’t have to), you get to be part of this experiment too. 🙂

Here’s what I want (just leave them in the comments):

  • Your own personal ads, small or large. Things you’ve asked for. Or are asking for. Or would like to ask for. Or updates on last time!

What I would rather not have:

  • Reality theories.
  • Shoulds. As in, “You should be doing it like this” or “That’s not the right way to ask for things — instead it should be like x, y and z”
  • To be judged or psychoanalyzed.

My commitment.

I am committing to getting better at asking for things even when asking feels weird.

Thanks for doing this with me!

One more thing!

So yes, I say this every week, but here’s the weird thing: I mean it.

When I say no advice, I really, truly don’t want advice. If you want to share your related story, rock on. But that’s it. Give me advice and I’ll kick you in the shins.

The Fluent Self