very personal adsPersonal ads! They’re … personal! Very.

So my itty bitty personal ads made me realize that it’s time to make a regular practice of trying to feel okay asking for stuff.

Even when the asking thing feels weird and conflicted.

Ever since I posted the first one asking my perfect house to find me, which united me with Hoppy House, I have been a fan of the madness that is personal ads.

And now it’s my Sunday ritual. Yay, ritual!

Let’s do this thing.

Thing 1: rest

Here’s what I want:

I’m feeling completely worn out.

So far everywhere we’ve been for non-emergency super-strategic vacation has been noisy and stressful and annoying.

I want sleep. Good sleep.

Lots and lots of it.

Ways this could work:

Well, I expect everything will be better once we run away to my uncle’s house in the woods, which was the plan anyway.

But I’m also packing schleepy tea.

Too tired right now to figure out the rest of it, but I’m sure that as soon as we’re away from the city, things will clear up and I’ll know what’s needed.

My commitment.

To notice when I’m feeling irritable and remind myself that quiet and rest are useful.

To write little notes to myself.

To do my evening meditation thing that gets lost when I’m on the road.

Thing 2: something about home and belonging

Here’s what I want:

All the moving around from place to place is bringing up my stuff.

Feeling disconnected and … not right somehow.

Ready to get back to feeling that sense of home in myself.

Ways this could work:

I can write a letter to Hoppy House.

I can write a letter to myself.

I can do a session with Hiro, which always makes everything better.

I can give myself permission to be in the hard and the stuck for now, and let things unravel.

I can remind myself that given my history (moving countries three times, having no place to live, blah), this is normal. Still. Even though I really want to be done with it already.

Still a thing. And that still makes sense.

And of course, what this really needs is some Shiva Nata, so I can connect to whatever insights, epiphanies and understandings will bring me to the next step.

My commitment.

To dance, dance, dance.

Well, once I get some sleep.

In the meantime?

Five minutes of Dance of Shiva.

And then?

To ask. To question. To wonder. To write. To dream. To find out what’s needed. To try stuff.

Thing 3: to finish a project that’s hanging.

Here’s what I want:

This thing is almost done.

It needs very specific amounts of time and love, in very specific ways.

I can do it. I want to do it.

The time is now.

Ways this could work:

My gentleman friend could sit with me on this while we’re resting in the woods.

I can write a love letter to the project.

And make a list of all the things that might be stuckified around this so I can talk to them.

My commitment.

To be as kind to myself as I can stand.

To recognize that avoiding something you want is often a sign that you really want it and that it scares you.

To do a lot of writing and processing around the project and not just in it.

To ask for help.

Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.

Just to update you on what’s happened since last week.

I wanted smooth sailing in my business while on Not-An-Emergency Vacation.

And that’s happened. But I also wanted rest and clarity, which totally haven’t.

Luckily there’s still a few days of holiday left so I’m going to reformulate that ask.

I also wanted a way to keep the blog happy with posties, which has been way less complicated than I’d imagined (forgot about the huge pile of mostly-completed posts).

And I also wanted insights on my various projects.

It’s been more mini-epiphanies (“lil Piphs”, as Kimberlee named them) than gigantic knock-down moments of bing, but they’ve all been extremely useful.

Expect an update on that soon-ish!

Comments. Since I’m already asking …

I am adding to my practice of asking for stuff by being more specific about what I would like to receive in the comments.

Here’s what I want (just leave them in the comments):

  • Your own personal ads, small or large. Things you’ve asked for. Or are asking for. Or would like to ask for. Or updates on last time!

What I would rather not have:

  • Reality theories. The focus here is the process of getting clarity on what you want.
  • Shoulds. As in, “You should be doing it like this” or “That’s not the right way to ask for things — instead it should be like x, y and z”
  • To be judged or psychoanalyzed.
  • To be told that the thing I want is not actually what I want. Not helpful.
  • Advices.

My commitment.

I am committing to getting better at asking for things even when asking feels weird.

Thanks for doing this with me!

The Fluent Self