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Each week I write these VPAs to practice asking for what I want. And to get clarity on what that really is, even when asking feels conflicted.

I always get useful information about my relationship with various aspects of the ask. Join in if you like!

Thing 1: close tabs!

Here’s what I want:

While I — astonishingly — don’t have any physical piles of doom at the moment, I seem to have replaced them with seventy seven thousand open Firefox tabs.

I’d like to start closing those doors, and figuring out what my new system is for this not to happen.

Ways this could work:

I can spend an hour or two watching myself mess around with this, to see what the patterns are.

And I can flail on it.

And I can talk it over with Cairene.

My commitment.

To be curious and loving: what purpose does this serve and how can I still get what I need?

To take lots of notes.

Thing 2:

Here’s what I want:

I’m working with the theme of being at home with money.

Since I’m a business savant, I’m actually really good at making money.

And I’ve been dangerously poor, so I know about getting through not having any money.

But just being comfortable with it. Being comfortable and at ease with having it. This needs more love and attention, as I learned this past week.

Ways this could work:

I can use Shiva Nata to deconstruct some of the old patterns and unquestioned assumptions.

The Stone Skipping questions can help me get clearer on what this new relationship with money might look and feel like.

I can talk to Slightly Future Me and find out what she knows about all this.

My commitment.

To remember that what I think is set in stone is not.

And that there are all kinds of things that I’m probably wrong about.

Thing 3: a hidden board.

Here’s what I want:

Oh I have no idea how to describe this.

You know how in movies sometimes there’s a character trying to dissect his past or uncover a conspiracy?

And there’s a hidden room or a picture that flips up to reveal a chart? Or a wall covered in scribbled notes, newsletter clippings and colored pushpins.

I want like that.

My office is sometimes a Strategy Room and sometimes a Wish Room, and I haven’t managed to figure out how to make those aspects work together.

I want a secret wall!

Ways this could work:

No idea.

I mean, I’m not even entirely sure what this ask is.

My commitment.

To look for the essence of my wish.

Is it about shelter? Secrecy? Privacy? Excitement? Planning? Structure?

I think it would be useful to talk to Metaphor Mouse and get more information on what exactly I’m yearning for.

Thing 4: to enjoy the glorrrious weather

Here’s what I want:

Every April, all I want to do is walk in the sunshine and smell all the lovely flowers and be carefree and delight in springtime.

And every April I have ridiculous amounts of work to do.

Until I finally start using the almanac section of the Book of Me, we are going to need to compromise.

Ways this could work:

I could just decide to test my hypothesis that really, truly experiencing springtime will do good things for my business in its own way.

And that if I have to delay some projects, then so be it.

I’m not sure if my fuzzball monsters will be into that, so this is going to have to involve a lot of dialogue with them.

My commitment.

To remember that my monsters and I share the same goal: to make sure that I am safe and cared for.

To remember that I always get my best ideas in the spring, so a little additional frolicking time is a good thing, not a selfish decision.

To be alive. To be here now.

Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.

Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.

Let’s see. I wanted my energy back, and I actually did remember to take my iron. And did lots of walking. Improvement!

I asked for Dr Seuss books for the Playground, and a number of people offered to send some. Oh!

Then I was hoping to find the last couple people for the April Rally (Rally!), and I’m not actually sure if that happened or not because I disappeared this week and wasn’t at Drunk Pirate Council. I’ll have to check.

And there was an ask about building a Refueling Station for me. That’s something I’ve been really investigating this past week. No visible, tangible forward progress yet, but a bunch of internal stuff is moving.

I will keep asking for this one, and rephrase what it is that I’m looking for.

Comment zen. Here’s what I’d love today.

Your own personal ads, small or large. Things you’ve asked for. Or are asking for. Or would like to ask for. Or updates on last time!

Stuff I’d rather not have:

The word “manifest”. To be told how I should be asking for things. To be judged, psychoanalyzed or given unsolicited advice.

Much love for your gwishes! So happy to have you doing this with me.

The Fluent Self