very personal adsPersonal ads. They’re … personal! Very.

So my itty bitty personal ads made me realize that it’s time to make a regular practice of trying to feel okay asking for stuff.

Even when the asking thing feels weird and conflicted.

Ever since I posted the first one asking my perfect house to find me, which united me with Hoppy House, I have been a fan of the madness that is personal ads.

And now it’s my weekly ritual for clarity and remembering and stuff like that. Yay, ritual!

Let us dooo eeeet.

Thing 1: tools, and a better relationship with them.

Here’s what I want:

Okay. I’ve found that many of my Very Personal Ad asks are for things that I want but am conflicted about wanting.

Often things that could really help me with my work, but in an indirect way, or maybe it’s just that technically I don’t need whatever it is because I can make do without it.

After many monster negotiations, some of which I may share this week, I’ve realized that there are certain tools of the trade that are vital to excelling in that trade.

So I’ve been trying to pin down what my tools might be. In the hopes of feeling better about wanting them.

And get better at the complicated internal process which accompanies the external process of acquiring them.

Ways this could work:

Journaling, walking, dancing, asking smart questions.

Playing. Possibly at the Playground, a place that I have eagerly outfitted with an enormous variety of wonderful tools (because I’m okay with other people having tools!).

Maybe some metaphor mousing.

My commitment.

To notice throughout the day how tools bring support, ease and comfort into my life.

To pay attention to all the tools that I don’t necessarily stop to appreciate (power cords, toothbrushes, butter knives, tote bags, everything that helps me do what I do).

To sing silly little songs. Tool tool tool tool tooooooooooolie!

Thing 2: a few more fabulous people for the March Rally (Rally!)

Here’s what I want:

Obviously, a Rally (Rally!) is the best and most fun way to get a ton of work done and change the way you work forever. Because I can’t shut up about that.

The February Rally is full, but there are a few spots left for March.

And March is a VERY good time to Rally, for two reasons:

One, you can join me in avoiding SXSW like the plague, but not feel bad about it because you can still meet incredible people, make useful connections and party like a rock star, should you want to.

But mainly the second reason: Selma and I have booked an amazing photographer to do private sessions so you can leave the Rally with a gorgeous new headshot for your blog or website!

There are four more spots for March. I would love for the Rally and its people to find each other. Yay!

Ways this could work:

I can remember to tell people about it. Like now.

And give people the link to the Rally page. Rally!

And, more importantly, give them the link to Jillian’s page where she talks about the photo shoot part.

And put it in the Biggification Board at the Kitchen Table.

And make a point of telling people that the photo shoot is included for anyone who wants it — there’s no extra Rally tuition for this.

All of that is “in the hard”. Not sure what I want to work on “in the soft”, but I’ll dance on it and see what comes up.

My commitment.

To share my excitement and enthusiasm for Jillian and her work (I adore Jillian, and I need this too since my avatar photo is crazy old).

To spread the word about Rally in the way that Rally is: fun, playful and magical.

Thing 3: birthday rituals

Here’s what I want:

There’s still a few weeks to plan, but what invariably ends up happening is that I never plan, and then my birthday ends up being stressful instead of reflective.

So I’d like to invent some rituals. Or come up with a really good idea for a run-away-from-everything kind of weekend.

Not sure yet what this ask is about, exactly.

But it has to do with conscious, loving, light-hearted ways to mark time and to think about this coming year, in the context of what I want, instead of what I usually do.

Ways this could work:

Not sure yet. Just planting the wish. Gwish!

But if you have suggestions for beautiful, quiet places in Oregon where one might hide out while doing this, I would love that.

My commitment.

To do some serious thinking about what this past year has been about, and what I want and need.

To recognize that taking time for this and for myself is also a tool. And that I get to have tools the same way I get to have time and space.

All of this is stuff I know, but the way it is sinking in right now is new for me. So really my commitment is about taking the time to let all this percolate.

Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.

Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.

I wanted the right words for a Playground sign, and got a pretty good version. Thanks for all the suggestions!

Then resolution to the heating crisis, and while it didn’t happen exactly, we do now have a gajillion space heaters, so that’s something.

Also I wanted a new name for my R&D binder, and was thrilled about all the beautiful and creative things you guys thought of. THANK YOU!

And I had a problem that wanted and needed love and attention. It still does, but I’m pleased to say that I was able to give it a lot of my time this past week, and we are making really serious progress. I am so happy about that.

Yay, VPAs!

Comment zen. Here’s what I’d love today.

  • Your own personal ads, small or large. Things you’ve asked for. Or are asking for. Or would like to ask for. Or updates on last time!

Stuff I’d rather not have:

  • The word “manifest”.
  • To be told how I should be asking for things.
  • To be judged, psychoanalyzed or given unsolicited advice.

Wishing love and good things for your Very Personal Ads! I’m so happy to have people doing this with me.

The Fluent Self