very personal adsPersonal ads! They’re … personal! Very.

So my itty bitty personal ads made me realize that it’s time to make a regular practice of trying to feel okay asking for stuff.

Even when the asking thing feels weird and conflicted.

Ever since I posted the first one asking my perfect house to find me, which united me with Hoppy House, I have been a fan of the madness that is personal ads.

And now it’s my Sunday ritual for clarity and remembering and stuff like that. Yay, ritual!

Let’s do it.

Thing 1: Progress, baby.

Here’s what I want:

I have crazy work to do right now.

And some projects that need serious attention.

Ways this could work:

I have no idea but it kind of has to.


  • I will use The Game That Still Has No Name
  • Or I could write about the Rally and how I want one
  • Lots of Shiva Nata for unexpected and unlikely epiphanies
  • It could stop being so damn hot for five minutes
  • Surprise me.

My commitment.

To watch and wait and hope and stay connected to myself.

To ask smart questions.

To go back to bed when necessary.

Thing 2: Resolution to a sovereignty issue.

Here’s what I want:

This is a situation that demands from me a gracious, loving, sovereign response.

It is apparently time to step up and claim what is mine and be in my me-ness and my queen-ness.

It is also a somewhat challenging and slightly sticky situation.

And I need a way to be generous and supportive on the one hand, and firm and clear on the other.

Whatever action I end up taking needs to be very grounded, and also full of warmth. And, ideally, it is the perfect-for-everyone-involved solution.

Ways this could work:

Wow. No idea.

But it kind of has to.

I can do Dance of Shiva on it. I can take dictation while conversing with my various monsters.

I can book some sessions with Hiro, who knows all sorts of wise things about being sovereign, and who can work some pretty serious miracles.

I can ask for a perfect, simple solution.

My commitment.

To be receptive to the possibility that there are many ways in which this can be resolved, without having to Take A Stand.

To be willing to Take A Stand, should said stand need to be taken.

To meet everyone involved (including myself) with as much compassion and patience as I can muster.

To throw a tiny temper tantrum by myself, if necessary and as often as necessary.

To celebrate with berries when this thing is over.

Thing 3: For time to be on my side.

Here’s what I want:

There are several lovely projects treasure hunt missions that are wanting my attention this week.

I need things to kind of magically work out.

And the getting done part needs to coincide with the not going completely stark raving mad part.

Ways this could work:

One mission per day.

Designated time.

Rituals in. Rituals out.

Asking for help. Using the Deguiltified Chicken Board at the Kitchen Table.

Taking notes.


My commitment.

To notice what I need.

To remember to rest.

To dance up a storm. To take long walks.

To be in the zone when it’s there and to turn off when it is time for turning off.

To get better at trusting.

Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.

Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.

I asked for a word that was not Sabbatical and found it (Skabbatical!). And to get better at believing in the possibility of such a thing.

Huge progress. I spent two hours transcribing monster conversations as they happened in my head. And here’s what happened:

  1. None of those conversations were even slightly what I expected.
  2. I’ve resolved some Enormous Stucknesses: I’m okay with Skabbatical, I’m looking forward to working on my book, and if I can raise the money, I’m going to do a really nice Skabbatical, even if it takes me a while to plan it.
  3. My monsters are totally on my side. And way more than before. They weren’t even that mean. Or maybe: it’s the sovereignty thing. Maybe the stuff they say is just as harsh, but I’m not taking it as seriously.
  4. Knowing what you’re scared of makes it so easy to avoid it, plan for it, reframe it, change it. The monsters’ power is What-iffery. Get the information and they have no fear-hold on you.
  5. I kind of want to go on Monster Skabbatical, and just talk to monsters all day. Because it’s — weirdly — kind of fun. And it’s like Carolyn sessions: menapetzet all of my stucknesses. Yay!

And I wanted ease of integration back from Official Pirate Queen Holiday and that mostly happened. Well, what happened was that I didn’t get any work done. But yeah, transitions.

Comment zen. Here’s what I’d love today.

  • Your own personal ads, small or large. Things you’ve asked for. Or are asking for. Or would like to ask for. Or updates on last time!

What I’d rather not have:

  • The word “manifest”.
  • Shoulds. As in, “You should be doing it like this” or “That’s not the right way to ask for things — instead it should be like x, y and z”
  • To be judged, psychoanalyzed or given advices.

Wishing love and good things for your Very Personal Ads! So glad for everyone doing this with me.

The Fluent Self