very personal adsPersonal ads! They’re … personal! Very.

So my itty bitty personal ads made me realize that it’s time to make a regular practice of trying to feel okay asking for stuff.

Even when the asking thing feels weird and conflicted.

Ever since I posted the first one asking my perfect house to find me, which united me with Hoppy House, I have been a fan of the madness that is personal ads.

And now it’s my Sunday ritual. Yay, ritual!

Let’s do this thing.

Thing 1: Faith. Help maintaining it.

Here’s what I want:

There are an astonishing number of things up in the air right now.

Each one full of possibility, delight, wonder and other things that are good.

But the waiting for them to land and settle into the thing they are becoming is hugely challenging for me.

And this is exacerbated by the sheer number of things in my life at the moment that are uncertain-but-about-to-be-good-news-probably.

Wow.

Just thinking about it makes me appreciate the fact that I have not yet gone stark raving mad from the not-knowing.

Anyway.

Ways this could work:

I have a very clear sense that the best way to navigate this period is to know that everything is going to happen beautifully exactly as it needs to.

As to how that actually works, no idea.

But I’m willing to learn (in ways that are helpful and not painful) how to be the person who can trust the future.

Again, not sure on the how. But I am open to finding out.

My commitment.

To do everything I can to stay connected to myself.

To be extra-aware of what I need (sleep? water? a good cry?) and treat the meeting of each need as something that is worthy of attention. A serious priority.

I’m observing my discomfort with these places of in-between. Especially when it comes to waiting for a response or feedback from other people.

And it’s time to do the work to clear out old stucknesses and hurts from similar situations in the past.

Thing 2: To rewrite my patterns around waiting.

Here’s what I want:

Related to the first ask.

I know what hasn’t worked or has sort-of-worked in the past. As well as what worked great at the time but isn’t relative now because of the “what got you here won’t get you there” principle.

So I know I’m pretty good at stuff like:

— freaking the hell out and falling apart
— gritting my teeth and pulling through somehow
— making things happen through raw determination and ambition
— making things happen through toughening up and going into survival mode
— not being present, checking out of the situation
— trying to be mindful and just observe the hard while I’m in it.

And it’s time for a new set of patterns.

How I want it to look this time:

An entirely new way of being in the state of waiting for something.

And I want it to involve faith (again) that the way things work themselves out will be something that is supportive and awesome.

My commitment.

To actively challenge my patterns.

Not in a violent way, but in an attentive, curious way. Like, what happens if we do this one thing slightly differently?

To notice when I’m doing something familiar, and then start brainstorming other options.

To use Shiva Nata to dance this out and integrate the new patterns into my body and mind.

To call on Metaphor Mouse to work some magic.

To practice Sovereignty.

To be playful with all this change when I can. And to be understanding about it when I can’t.

Thing 3: My fabulous course that does not have a name.

Here’s what I want:

Selma the duck and I are doing this program in June.

It does not have a name.

It is three days. The focus is:

Curing fear of biggification. Accessing your superpowers. Sneaking around the “I want to have more visibility but I don’t want anyone to actually see me” thing. Coming up with a plan.

It is going to be amazing.

It’s already somewhat full. I want it completely full. And full of my people. And for this to happen this week, in an easy, fun, comfortable way.

Ways this could work:

Okay. I have to remember to tell people about it.

I can write a note to my announcement list. And on the Biggification Board at my Kitchen Table program.

Or it could just happen.

In ways that have nothing to do with me.

I could give you guys the link to the program so you could look at it. Yes, that would be smart.

My commitment.

To spend time with this.

To write love letters to the program. To sit with the curriculum and see if there’s anything new that needs to come in.

To excitedly welcome the people who show up.

To dance dance dance. And then dance some more.

Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.

Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.

I asked for help maneuvering the week with a sore back. And then my back just got better. Which wasn’t what I asked for but yay. Nice.

The second thing was about staying connected to myself and not going into Internet hangover mode. That went mostly well. Except for Wednesday, which was a master class in how not to do things.

I also made a wish for a ton of people to sign up for Hiro’s Internet Hangover class, which I talked her into teaching (for me!). And it’s packed. A thousand points!

And, interestingly, my final ask was also about this whole theme of trust and faith and doing things in a new way. This week I’m taking it in a slightly different direction. We’ll see how it goes.

Comments. Since I’m already asking …

I am adding to my practice of asking for stuff by being more specific about what I would like to receive in the comments.

Here’s what I want (just leave them in the comments):

  • Your own personal ads, small or large. Things you’ve asked for. Or are asking for. Or would like to ask for. Or updates on last time!

What I would rather not have:

  • Reality theories (can we avoid words like “manifest”?)
  • Shoulds. As in, “You should be doing it like this” or “That’s not the right way to ask for things — instead it should be like x, y and z”
  • To be judged, psychoanalyzed or given advices.

My commitment.

I am committing to getting better at asking for things even when asking feels weird.

Thanks for doing this with me!