very personal adsPersonal ads! They’re … personal! Very.

So my itty bitty personal ads made me realize that it’s time to make a regular practice of trying to feel okay asking for stuff.

Even when the asking thing feels weird and conflicted.

Ever since I posted the first one asking my perfect house to find me, which united me with Hoppy House, I have been a fan of the madness that is personal ads.

And now it’s my weekend ritual. Yay, ritual!

Let’s do it.

Thing 1: ease and smoothness with lease-signing.

Here’s what I want:

As I reported on the Friday Chicken, we finally found the — gasp — perfect place for the Playground to live.

My wish/hope is that we sign the lease this week.

And that the whole process is simple and straight-forward, with smoothness instead of bumpiness.

It would be so great to just breeze through this thing so that my focus and attention can go to the crazy and fabulous things that are going to happen in the space, now that we have it.

Ways this could work:

I can keep reminding myself that we are in excellent hands. Hope, our realtor, is smart, competent, fun and as wonderful as her name implies.

And while I’m reminding myself of things, also these:

That, as Hiro says, what’s mine is mine.

That the space has found me.

That no matter what happens, it will be something that has good in it.

I can breathe. I can do Dance of Shiva on it. I can try to maintain play and silliness in the face of all this not-knowing.

My commitment.

To do everything I can to stay grounded and centered.

To whisper sweet nothings in the Playground’s ear.

To give it presents.

To remind myself of all those things I have trouble remembering.

To notice all the places of pain in me from past negotiations, and to talk to my pain and remind it of everything that is different now.

To be hugely appreciative of the ease and the smooth as it comes, and to learn what I need to learn from this.

Thing 2: adjusting that invisible crown again.

Here’s what I want:

I have been doing huge amounts of internal and external work on the sovereignty thing: doing my thing and not caring what other people think.

Standing my ground. Being gracious. Taking responsibility. Trusting my own sources of power.

Feeling everything that comes with the invisible crown.

And it’s been awesome. There’s a whole new depth and strength to my sense of what sovereignty is and how it works.

What I’d like help and support with now is maintaining that enormous sense of queenliness (and all its related qualities) that I’ve been feeling over the past few days.

Ways this could work:


I can stay mindful and still have fun with it. Introduce rituals. Make up goofy dances. Wear my hot red sovereignty boots and stomp around.

It could just happen.

Intention too.
I can spend some time this week mapping out what this might look like. Doing some writing. Maybe some more personal ads.

My commitment.

To experiment.

To notice everything I can.

To plant seeds. To give myself reminders. To laugh. A lot.

Thing 3: Changes. Oh, more specifically than that?

Here’s what I want:

It’s really time to make all sorts of changes to the Shiva Nata website.

It’s gone through an incarnation or two since I first built it (hi, HTML) in Berlin, but it’s really out of date.

So: either I’d like to make a bunch of changes, or at least come up with a bunch of ideas about what I want to start doing with that.

Ways this could work:

I suppose — oof — I’m going to need to take a look at some of my stucknesses around this.

I can also brainstorm with my gentleman friend and other people who will be sensitive about my stuff and not propose seven thousand things that would be great but that I have no time for.*

So it seems like the main thing has to be just giving myself some softness around this.

Permission for it to take time.

Permission for me to be in avoidance.

* Yes, I know we need new videos. And a results page. And to rewrite every word on there.

My commitment.

Tiny little steps.

To dance up a storm until the epiphanies start streaming in.

To be hopeful.

To remember that I don’t have to do everything at once, and that little pieces count.

To notice when I’m not able to be patient with myself. And to be kind. If I can.

Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.

Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.

The first thing I asked for was emotional and financial support with fun-brewing.

And while I got both of those, in many ways, the main thing I received from that ask was that I was asking for the wrong things, in the wrong way.

I had some huge realizations around that, and will write an explain-ey sort of post that goes more into depth about what I’ve been learning about support and asking for it.

I also asked about support for my Guns N Rollers and we’ll see how that goes.

And the last bit was about caring for myself. And I must say it’s gone really, really well. Surprisingly well.

All in all, good stuff. Hard to believe it’s only been a week.

Comments. Since I’m already asking …

I am adding to my practice of asking for stuff by being more specific about what I would like to receive in the comments.

Here’s what I want (just leave them in the comments):

  • Your own personal ads, small or large. Things you’ve asked for. Or are asking for. Or would like to ask for. Or updates on last time!

What I would rather not have:

  • Theories.
  • Shoulds. As in, “You should be doing it like this” or “That’s not the right way to ask for things — instead it should be like x, y and z”
  • To be judged or psychoanalyzed.
  • Advices.

My commitment.

To getting better at asking for things even when asking feels weird.

Thanks for doing this with me!

The Fluent Self