very personal adsPersonal ads! They’re … personal! Very.

So my itty bitty personal ads made me realize that it’s time to make a regular practice of trying to feel okay asking for stuff.

Even when the asking thing feels weird and conflicted.

Ever since I posted the first one asking my perfect house to find me, which united me with Hoppy House, I have been a fan of the madness that is personal ads.

And now it’s my Sunday ritual. Yay, ritual!

Let’s do this thing.

Thing 1: Rewriting an ask

Here’s what I want:

I asked for movement, fireworks and sparkles on my Big Crazy Idea that came from a Shivanautical epiphany.

And yeah, some progresses have been made. But not what I’d hoped for. Tiny, halting steps.

So I’m going to reformulate the ask.

And make it more about getting out of the way.

Or about recognizing which monsters are saying what so I can listen to them and give them reassurances.

So what I’d like is information about what needs to happen — internally and externally — for me to be able to move forward with this

Ways this could work:

I could do a ton of Dance of Shiva on it.

Or even a little.

I can do some Dork Dancing to let off steam.

And talk to Helpful People. And do some journaling. And call a Pirate Council.

My commitment.

To practice patience.

To be curious.

To interact with my fear monsters and give them space to have their little temper tantrums without thinking that this says anything about me.

Thing 2: FURNITURE. Well, related stuff.

Here’s what I want:

My beloved Hoppy House needs some furniture.

And I have huge issues with giving myself permission to spend money on anything other than the business.

Because my pattern has been investing every penny made right back into The Fluent Self.

Also, all my stuff comes up about “extravagance” again.

So I guess I’m asking for one of two things.


a. the ability to reframe this whole thing, and to recognize that investing in comfort and stability and support actually IS investing in my business, because my peace of mind is what runs the business.


b. the ability to get over this already and just be someone who wants to have a dining room table and can think this is a legitimate thing to want.

Ways this could work:

Not sure.

I don’t want advice. But comfort would be nice.

The ability to give this time would be nice.

Open to some moments of bing.

My commitment.

Making some of the complicated related themes part of what I work on with Dance of Shiva, yoga, writing and whatever wacky rituals I do this week.

Remembering that, given my background and history, this is probably a completely normal thing to be going through and it’s going to be okay.

Thing 3: a solution to a problem that doesn’t seem to have a solution.

Here’s what I want:

Well, either a solution to the problem or for me to stop caring about it.

Ways this could work:


I have absolutely no idea. None.

But I’m open to possibility.

My commitment.

To keep reminding myself that things can change, and have done so in the past.

And that I have useful resources to ground me and keep me strong even when there are things going on that I can’t fix or help.

To sleep on it.

Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.

Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.

Well, as you know from my first ask today, my Crazy Big Idea is developing more slowly than I’d hoped. Though I’m learning interesting things about why that is.

I also asked for smooth transitioning with some big changes in my business.

The smoothness. It is epic.

Seriously. The smooth transitioning has been about a million times smoother than I’d ever thought possible.

Everything has just fallen into place pretty much effortlessly, and I’m still shaking my head over that one.

And I asked for trust in a challenging situation, and … hard to say. It’s gone better than hoped for in many ways. And I’m still dealing with the repercussions in other ways.

The trust part, though. Very helpful. Working on it. Definitely better at the trusting myself part. It’s the trusting the other people involved that isn’t happening yet.

All in all, useful asks last week. And I will be playing with them some more in the week to come.

And just a reminder:

This practice is about clarity and learning more about my relationship with myself. I know some people see this as a wacky thing or a “law of whatever” thing. You can do what you want with it.

For me, though, it’s about my own process of getting to know how my stucknesses work, so I can try doing things differently.

Comments. Since I’m already asking …

I am adding to my practice of asking for stuff by being more specific about what I would like to receive in the comments.

Here’s what I want (just leave them in the comments):

  • Your own personal ads, small or large. Things you’ve asked for. Or are asking for. Or would like to ask for. Or updates on last time!

What I would rather not have:

  • Reality theories.
  • Shoulds. As in, “You should be doing it like this” or “That’s not the right way to ask for things — instead it should be like x, y and z”
  • To be judged or psychoanalyzed.
  • Advices. I do not like them.

My commitment.

I am committing to getting better at asking for things even when asking feels weird.

Thanks for doing this with me!

The Fluent Self