very personal adsPersonal ads! They’re … personal! Very.

So my itty bitty personal ads made me realize that it’s time to make a regular practice of trying to feel okay asking for stuff.

Even when the asking thing feels weird and conflicted.

Ever since I posted the first one asking my perfect house to find me, which united me with Hoppy House, I have been a fan of the madness that is personal ads.

And now it’s my weekly ritual. Yay, ritual!

Let’s do it.

Thing 1: a solution to my various living situation issues.

Here’s what I want:

Dear perfect living situation in Berlin,

Let’s talk about you.

You have wi-fi. You have a landline where I can receive calls.

You are quiet. I don’t mind church bells or whatever, but jackhammers are not going to work.

You feel safe.

I feel like I belong there.

You have plenty of drawers and such where I can unpack my belongings and make myself at home.

You are affordable — or the money for you shows up when (or before) I find you.

You have a washing machine or easy access to one.

You have a mirror for me to use while practicing Shiva Nata.

I would be very happy if you were in Prenzlauer Berg, Kreuzberg, Friedrichshain or Mitte, but really, we can live anywhere within the Ring.

Hell, even outside of the Ring. Friedenau. Or even Steglitz. As long as it isn’t somewhere depressing like Pankow.

Ideally, to be able to rent you until the middle/end of October would be perfect. But even a few weeks of quiet would be good.

Here’s how this could work:

I might hear about you from one of my friends or connections.

You could somehow (but not literally!) fall into my lap.

I could stumble upon you.

I could find you on the internets.

My commitment.

My gentleman friend and my duck and I are the loveliest houseguests ever.

We will do yoga and meditate and cook wonderful food. We will be clean. We will appreciate you greatly.

We go to bed early. We don’t do parties. We will love you and everything about you.

And I will keep working on my stuff around this (namely that I’m not sure you even exist, I’m worried about hurting the feelings of the friends I’m staying with, I have mixed emotions about various aspects of this process, etc ).

Please find us. Whatever perfect simple solution exists for this, I need you.

p.s. If the other living situation issue could work itself out too? I need some help there as well.

Thing 2: Sacramento, baby.

Here’s what I want:

I still haven’t officially announced the all-day Biggification + Epiphanies workshop in Sacramento in December.

But I did mention in the Chicken that it’s finally a thing. So several spots got snapped up right away.

And now I’m kind of hoping that the whole thing will fill up on its own without me having to tell anyone about it.

I had been planning on writing a quick email to the California people (there’s a new sign-up thingie on the events page for people who want advance notice on workshops in their area).

But you know what? The people who’ve signed up so far aren’t even in California. None of them. In fact, one of them is even coming from England.

So yeah.

What I want is for this workshop to fill itself quickly and easily with my Right People. It’s a tiny workshop anyway, because there is only room for twelve.

So now it’s just a matter of saying hi, we’re doing a thing so my Right People know about it.

Here’s how this could work:

I could give a little information about the program in this week’s Item! post.

I could do a little post or email or something just saying, “Hey, there’s a thing” so people don’t get annoyed when it books up ridiculously fast.

My Right People could find it. They know I don’t do a lot of live events anyway … so the ones who need this could sense that the time is now and say yes yes yes. And then we can all get excited about it together. Wheeeeeeeeee!

My commitment.

There will be much rejoicing. I’m already ridiculously excited about this workshop since I’ve got a lot of new material. And we have an amazing space (two of them, actually).

Also the shivanautical epiphanies will be outrageously great.

And, obviously, I will madly appreciate every single person who comes. And I will get better at letting people know about events ahead of time.

Thing 3: Time.

Here’s what I want:

More time to work on my Berlin projects. I came here with two things in mind that I wanted to work on (one of them being to solidify the schedule for the upcoming year).

And the living situation stuff has been keeping me on the move and cutting down on work time and scheduling time and planning time.

So here’s my ask:

For everything to happen in the right time, space and sequence.

Or at least to trust that this is what’s happening.

Ways this could work:

I don’t know. But I’m asking for the time. Or for the patience to wait for it.

My commitment.

To use the time I do have wisely. To give myself permission to nap when I need it. To notice when my stuff comes up.

Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.

Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.

I mostly asked for things to be smooth.

So. The Berlin Shivanaut workshops have been going pretty well. I’ve taught four so far (the fifth is today), and no major complaints.

I do have some issues with certain bits, but in general the smooth has been with us.

(This totally makes me want to say, “May the smooth be with you!” In the spirit of may the force be with you. Awesome.)

Sometimes the smooth came at the last possible moment, but it has been showing up regularly and for that I am very grateful.

Also, Shiva-Nata-ing it up with people several times a week? Good times.

The other big thing was that I wanted my German to come back quickly, and it has. Things were a bit rough until the second night when it just reappeared completely while I was on the phone with Andreas.

Then my gentleman friend and I went to see The Magnificent Seven and we didn’t even notice it was dubbed in German after the first few minutes.

So yeah. Big relieved exhale there.

Comments. Since I’m already asking …

I am adding to my practice of asking for stuff by being more specific about I would like to receive in the comments. And that way, if you feel like leaving one (you totally don’t have to), you get to be part of this experiment too. :)

Here’s what I want (just leave them in the comments):

  • Your own personal ads, small or large. Things you’ve asked for. Or are asking for. Or would like to ask for.
  • Thoughts or ideas about ways any of the personal ads listed here could come true.

What I would rather not have:

  • Reality theories.
  • Shoulds. As in, “You should be doing it like this” or “That’s not the right way to ask for things — instead it should be like x, y and z”
  • To be judged or psychoanalyzed.

My commitment.

I am committing to getting better at asking for things even when asking feels weird. I commit to giving time and thought to the things that people say, and to interact with their ideas and with my own stuff as compassionately and honestly as is possible.

Thanks for doing this with me!