Yesterday we thought about containers, which is a word I dislike but a concept I love.

So we actually talked about shelter (and about blanket forts and ship voyages).

And building a sukkah (conceptual or otherwise) to symbolically hold us while we go through whatever it is we’re needing to go through.

…. and I said I’d share more from our time at the Rally (Rally!). Talk about containers. That was a blanket fort of total wild rumpusry of a container.

We had Shiva Nata each morning to challenge the brain because how could we not.

And then — post-brain-scramble — we did these stone skipping exercises where we asked questions and elicited smart answers from somewhere deep within that lovely state of chaos.

Here it is in two parts. If any of it makes sense, I will be astonished. But there are some marvelous bits of true hidden in there.

Part 1: Talking to the slightly-in-the-future version of you.

The idea: Talking to the me who has already worked on this. Say, me in a few days from now, post-Rally. And who now has a more loving relationship with herself and with the project.

What reassurances does she have to offer you?

Everything you might work on here is useful! And equally valuable. Equally!

That’s because each one feeds and strengthens the other.

This is not a house that needs to have one part done before the next one can be built.

As long as you are in your space with clear boundaries, and you have good rituals for transitions, it doesn’t matter where or with what you begin.

What advice would she like to give you?

Create spaces and space around you.

Boundaries around the boundaries.

Make them visible and invisible. Build them with blocks and markers.

What does she wish you knew?

How to make separations. And also to see how things are connected.

Invocations are not just symbolic. They define the space.

Writing about what you want to write instead of just writing is a valuable use of your time.

The best projectizing is all about setting it up for the magic crazy wonderful things to happen.

And that’s why you need big designated chunks of time, for transitioning in and out.

A fort of protection!

Seriously, honey. A blanket fort in your room is a marvelous idea.

Okay. Do you have something to give me as a resource, me-who-has-done-this?

Endless permission slips! Also: blocks to start making your fort.

A Playground that is supposed to be played in. Costumes!

The reminder that you are the Pirate Queen.

Play play play play play play play!

You are learning to make everything fun and full of playfulness and ease. That is why this is a Rally (Rally!) and not a retreat or a seminar.

How far away are you?

I am not far at all. The more you talk to me, the closer we are.

I am hiding in the trees. I can see you but you can’t see me. When you can see me, I will come to you.

Anything else you want to tell me?

Yes! About the Week of Biggification (pickles). This is important.

You are headed in the right direction. And it’s time for you to really truly know and understand that this is the exact right thing to be doing.

You did not just pick Grove Park Inn as the right place because the Playground hadn’t been born.

You picked it because specific things need to happen there. There is a purpose to being there. It’s about redefining luxury, comfort, ease and growth. This week will be more magical because it’s there.

The setting will be a sukkah for you. It will hold all of you and be a canopy of peace. And through all the hilarity and goofing off and laughing until you cry, it will be the ship that cares for you.

Part 2: A bunch of questions. But to me.

This is from the last day of the Rally. Extremely general exploratory questions.

What is true?

I am ready.


There is in fact no project that is too big for me.

All that process-process-process I’ve had to go through in order to have a Playground … I am done with things being so process-ey (even though I will of course keep processing things).

But there are no obstacles. There are NO obstacles.

I am learning how to remember to be a queen and how to rest and how to have supportive structures all around me. And this is all possible. Everything I want: doable.

This is messing with my head. I didn’t even know I wanted things. But now apparently they’re doable.

What am I wrong about?

How much of me people need. Really it’s the essence. The frame.

With those structures, I am not needed. Just for my me-ness to be present as a quality.

I don’t need to do as much. All I need to do is provide these forms and containers (see yesterday) that are filled with the culture that I’ve developed.

I’m also wrong about how much time it takes for things to change.

There is deep internal experience/programming that says (quite emphatically): “But things have to take a long time”.

And there is a kernel of truth in that.

The truth is: germination and gestation is a process, and an ongoing one.

But it is also true that some things happen unbelievably fast. What if the qualities of germination and gestation can somehow combine with speed and safety? What if …?

I need maps and a wishroom STAT! Also to mark out the next stations in that crazy labyrinth.

What do I know?

The map I made from the labyrinth. That could totally be the thing that lets me know what to spend time on each day.

REST times lead to IDEA CAVE DREAM SEED times lead to RALLY TIMES and they all actually lead to each other.

I can do rest-dream-rally or rest-rally-dream or dream-rest-rally or dream-rally-rest or rally-dream-rest or rally-rest-dream!

Just like in Dance of Shiva. All points connect in all ways. Anything can be arranged into a new pattern.

Map this. Paint it. Make it true. Have actual real-life stations where you go in order to do and experience these things.

Three different types of blanket fort for three different types of experiences. Ask what they are and imagine them.

Design a safe room or sanctuary for you.

It’s a sukkah. And very … lavish somehow.

There are these huge pomegranates. Ripe fruit. Glowing gourds. Goblets. Embroidered cushions.

Gold threads in the red and white fabric that makes up the “walls”.

It is both sumptuous and temporary. It is a place I am going to in order to be cared for while certain processes are in place. In that way it is also like a mikveh.

Design a safe room or sanctuary for your project.

It’s a round room. Small, like in a turret.

And there are vine-like things to climb on. It’s like a crazy climbing gym, and my project is doing really fun strength-training exercises.

It is in training to be strong, flexible, speedy in its reactions. Calm under all circumstances. Healthy, happy.

It has the glow of exertion and power. It knows what to do and it’s doing it.

What do I know about closure?

That things are always opening and closing. It’s what they do.

That transitions and rituals are hugely important.

That taking time to turn away from something has meaning.

That I am tangled up with X partly because of no closings, and these traditions of lines being kept open, through dreams and hopes and memories.

That closure is like curtains closing. It is brief and temporary and a symbol.

Some things need to close to be closed. This is what makes room for the next door.

It’s not that one door closes and another one opens. It’s more that one closes so the next one can open. Sometimes.

What does my project know about transitions?

They happen in space and in time.

They have a symbolic importance that then translates into the real world. And even if you can’t see the stages, they’re happening.

Cubbies! Why do we not have cubbies? Also we need a phone booth or something to change costumes in. Oh yes.

Play with me! And comment zen for today.

We all have our stuff. We’re all working on our stuff. We let people have their stuff and their own experience. And we don’t give advice (unless someone specifically asks).

What I’d love today: play with me play with me play with me!

Even if you’re not a Shivanaut yet, if you want to put any of these questions to yourself and answer them, awesome. Or if you just want to think out loud (or not) about any aspect of this. Shana Tova.

*blows kiss to all the commenter mice, the Beloved Lurkers, and everyone who reads*

The Fluent Self