Friday chicken

Reflecting on both the hard and the good in the week that was…

Hello, week: we are here.

Thank you, week. Thank you, space to reflect.

{a breath for being here when we get here}

This is week 425 of this ritual, and so we chicken.

Or check-in, if you prefer to enunciate.

If you feel drawn to comment on aspects of my week, I will take love, hearts, breaths, pebbles — I do not need advice or cheering up, though presence and sweetness are always welcome

What’s been working? What do I want to play with….

I was having a hard time, and Briana, my wonderful partner-in-crime, suggested that maybe it was a summer squall.

Of course! Of COURSE. That’s what summer squalls do. They storm. Briefly. That’s their whole thing. Nothing is wrong because the squall is supposed to do that. And anyway, they don’t last, and autumn is coming.

Here’s to a good reframe, because I instantly stopped feeling feelings about the existence of my internal storm situation, and just let it do its thing.

I want to play with being more like the moon: sometimes its majestic radiant magic is very palpable, sometimes it’s just hanging out being the moon. But it doesn’t stop being majestic and radiant in the moments that it is in the background.

Breathing for the hard, challenging and mysterious.

  • Oh holy god full moon in pisces, as if it wasn’t hard enough being someone who feels everything, and feels it too loud, too much and too intensely, now I am like, 110% feeling everything, and I need to run away and hide, though I guess being in rural Idaho and not going online is basically already that? Breathing for all this big emotion stirred up.
  • Had many panics this week, most of which did not even belong to me. Also just the usual thing about how I’m going to be forty and I can’t be a [museum curator] anymore, but I don’t know what I want to do instead, for a living, or how any of it is going to work. Breathing for these moments in which I forget that all is well, breathing all-is-well, because it is.
  • Many unexpected expenses. Breathing for trust, and the (much-desired) superpower of what if there is a me who knows how to just delight in flow at all times, whether outgoing or incoming, without really needing to differentiate between the two because it’s all fine.
  • Hip pain comes and goes but any amount of sitting more than a few minutes, they are not having it. A breath for listening to my body who is always right.
  • Monsters are monster-ing. They latched onto that House of Lies quote and now they won’t stop saying it “Can I get an “imminent demise?” IMMINENT DEMISE! IMMINENT DEMISE!” Sometimes it’s entertaining, most of the time I could do without it. Guys, there is no doom. Things are okay, they’re just shifting around and it requires some adjustment. Breathing for cool, calm, clear perspective.
  • Inhale, exhale. May all misunderstandings and distortions, internal and external, dissolve in love if not in laughter. May peacefulness prevail. Trust-more love-more release-more receive-more. Goodbye (and thank you), mysteries and hard moments of this week.

Breathing for the good, reassuring, and magical!

  • Full moon in pisces and I am channeling big wild witchy moon magic like it was my job, which, actually, it kind of is. The moon is like, hey listen up babe, I have some important information for you to download, are you ready for this. Of course I am. It’s why I came out to this place of awe and mystery for operation quiet under the stars. Breathing for wild cosmic whatever this is, full-on magnificence, the stuff of life.
  • The motorhome is parked by a place with gorgeous pools heated by hot springs, and I have basically been in the water all week, day and night. Stars, water and quiet. Everything I need. It’s a peaceful piscean haven and I appreciate it so very much. Breathing for this is where I need to be.
  • Had two nights of ease from hip pain, and today am able to sit a bit. I don’t know if I want to sit, but it’s nice to have the option. Breathing for things move and change.
  • So much clarity. For a while it was just stirring things up and making me very aware of uncomfortable things, but something shifted and now it is bringing huge ease and sweetness. I see what’s here. It’s good. Breathing for knowing.
  • No news is good news! Sorry, that’s my new favorite joke. I have the privilege of not needing to know what’s going on in the world right now, and so I don’t. It is amazing how my head clears and my heart calms when I am not up to date on all the crap. Breathing for this extra force field.
  • Thankfulness. Feeling aware of the enormous good fortune in my life in the form of friends, generous strangers, being welcome, delicious food, that incredible moon. Everything is okay and so much is good. Nothing is wrong, even when I want to believe it is. Now is not then. All Timing Is Right Timing. Thank you for this grand adventure. A full breath of deep appreciation in my thank-you heart.

Superpowers I had this week…

Last time I wanted the power of not caring about the outcome, and I got it.

Powers I want.

I Close All The Doors That Need Closing, Easily, With Great Assurance and With Love.

Announcement time….

Quieting the monsters is one of the most useful self-fluency skills there is. You can buy the monster manual which is available here, and it is enormously useful if you would like to practice being Way Less Impressed with the horrible things that internal critical voices say. And it comes with a coloring book.

How was your week?

Come play in the comments. Share something from your week, take a breath, or just say hi! No rules, my format doesn’t have to be yours, we’ve been doing this every week for years now and there still isn’t a right way.

Everyone belongs. We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. We lovingly refrain from giving advice.

And of course it’s always okay to comment under a made-up name, whether for play and delight, or in the interest of Safety First.

Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.

Shabbat shalom.

It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — jump in whenever you like. Blowing kisses to the Beloved Lurkers too!

The Fluent Self