Fluent Self Item!A somewhat goofy mini-collection of stuff I’ve been reading, stuff I’ve been thinking about and oh, some completely random crap.

Basically the stuff that never gets mentioned here because I’m not the kind of person who can just make some teeny little point. Not into the whole brevity thing, as the Dude would say.

Actually, I’m under the strict compulsion to write ten pages about anything on my mind. So this is me. Practicing brevity.

Oh yes.

Things will be Itemized.

There is no avoiding it.

Item! Post No. 46 in a series that is not anywhere near as methodical, calculated, structured or anything else as people seem to think it is.

Item! Really, I do not have a plan.

I promised to talk about this in last week’s Itemization. Or Item!ization, if you prefer.

A bunch of people seem to think I have some sort of method to my madness in terms of what types of stuff I will turn into Items. Item! I don’t!

Basically it’s whatever tabs are open in Firefox.

If it’s interesting I put it in here.

If I haven’t made an Item! out of you or your thing yet, it’s not because I don’t like you or your thing or have somehow decided that it’s “not worthy”.*

It’s either that I don’t know about you or your thing … or I do, but I don’t happen to have one of your posts open at the exact moment when I happen to be Itemizing.

It’s so not personal. I promise!

Anyway. Apologies to everyone who has yet to be an Item! Though I will say that a great way to get me to remember to look at your post is to write about my duck.

* If you’re wondering who died and made me the arbiter of cool? Ohmygod. I wonder that all the time too. I don’t know what they’re thinking.

Item! An extremely brilliant piece about geek thinkery.

Read it. It’s called Gaming the System and it’s great.

“Points for what?”

“Points for points. We’re geeks.”

“And everyone has their own color?”

“Yeah, so we know who has the most points. Give me a blue pen, I’ve already got root cause on bug #3.”

He’s @rands on Twitter. I found this via @melle.

Item! Helper mice wanted!

Tori writes a personal ad for some Helper Mice. Because … who doesn’t need helper mice?

It’s really sweet.

“And while I can’t promise to believe in you 100% right off the bat, I can promise to give our relationship and projects more than a fighting chance to succeed.image

How’s that for starters? I’d like to offer all the cheese you can eat, but I’m afraid that might be a bit out of the budget. It’s certainly negotiable, though!”

She’s @mindtweets on Twitter.

Item! A labyrinth locator!

For everyone who is (or not at all) as obsessed with labyrinths as I am: there is always someone even more obsessed.

This site kind of creeps me out but I do love the idea.

It’s called LabyrinthLocator.com and … that’s what it is.

Via Yael who is @treelizard on Twitter. Thanks, Yael!

Item! I am so in love with this kazoo player!

So Larisa Koehn directed me to this incredible video because I say kazoo a lot.

Actually, other people say kazoo to me and then I respond. Kazoo!

If this makes no sense to you it’s because you haven’t been hanging out with me at the Twitter bar.

None of this is the point. The point is that oh I am in love.

I realize this is not fair because I already have a gentleman friend who plays the ukulele.

But the Carolina Chocolate Drops are my new favorite everything. I went and bought all their albums.

Expect to hear them if you’re at one of my events this year, because we will totally be Shiva-ing it up to someone playing the jug. Oh yes.

Anyway. Just watch the video.

Larisa is @larisakoehn on Twitter and the Carolina Chocolate Drops are @_CCDs.

Item! Speaking of videos.

Marie from the Snakecharmers has the sexiest voice in the entire world so I will basically listen to anything that comes out of her mouth.

I can listen to their album seventy-bajillion times a day and not get sick of it.

She wrote a song called Santa I’m Your Girl and it’s hawt. Extremely. So I hope you’re clicking that link and listening to it.

“Is that a candy cane in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”

Rowr. And yeah, now there’s also a video which is just adorable.

Marie is @snakecharmers on Twitter. She was one of my first-ever Twitter friends and I was friends with her before I knew she was a rockstar and yes, I adore her.

Item! Can you enhance that for us?

Okay! Fine. One more video.

I found this on Laughing Squid.

You know those excellent television/film moments when the people playing tech experts magically use “advanced technology” to zoom in on something ridiculous that then solves the crime or the mystery or whatever?

I used to think it was just me who enjoyed these — my ex-husband the electronics engineer specialized in video compression so this kind of thing was comic gold for him.

But no. We all love this.

And Duncan Robson put together this perfect little homage (“Let’s Enhance!”) to those wonderfully absurd scenes.

He’s @dunkr on Twitter. Via Laughing Squid who are @laughingsquid.

Item! Update from the land of the Peculiar & Hilarious Shivanauts!

The “peculiar and hilarious” thing comes from Melynda’s sweet bit about Butterfly Wishes.

First off, the various Shivanautical epiphanies of the week, including a link to the Psychology Today piece on the neuroscience of mindfulness.

Great stuff in the comments too. Like this bit from Casey:

“I stopped, swayed slightly for a minute or so, then went to my computer and started typing. An hour later I had my first official blog post. Definitely an “AHA!” moment.”

Also, honestly. I just adore the commenter mice over there. From Herb:

“The idea of something going wrong with Dance of Shiva resulting in raining cheese is just another reason to try it.”

Item! Comments! Here’s what I want this time:

  • Things you’re thinking about.
  • Something fabulously inappropriate to do on Christmas Day because the usual jew-ey tradition of Chinese food and a movie isn’t doing it for me this year. But it has to involve food at some point at least because, I don’t know how to end this sentence so just trust me, it does.

My commitment.
I am committed to giving time and thought to the things that people say. Even though asking for what I want still feels awkward for me, I’m just going to remind myself that this is a thing I’m practicing.

That is all.

Happy reading.

And happy Blustery Windsday. See you tomorrow.