Friday chicken

Reflecting on both the hard and the good in the week that was…

This is week 435 of this ritual, and so we chicken.

What’s been working? What do I want to play with….

Beginning and ending the day with things that calm me.

Breathing for the hard, challenging and mysterious.

Good god what a week. Had high hopes for this being the week that I stop crying all the time, but actually spent the first half of it crying more than ever. Let’s just make a short list of some of the things I was crying over….

  • Crying my eyes out over the horrific treatment of native people and native land — the agonizing images of water activists being attacked (by descendants of colonizers no less) with tear gas and water cannons in below freezing temperatures, heartbreaking. These are peaceful protestors who want clean water. Cate, friend of my friend H, is there right now. Her report of the excessive force used on peaceful protesters, including elders and women, is horrifying. Look at this photo please. Understand what this is. Here’s who you can call to ask that the militarized police targeting protestors stand down. Morton County Sherrif Dept: 701-328-8118. North Dakota governor Jack Dalrymple: 701-328-2200. North Dakota National Guard: 701-333-2000. You can send supplies to Sacred Stone Camp. Breathing justice and well-being. I am not usually much for prayer, or at least not by that name, but I am praying for the water protectors.
  • Crying over the swastikas and accompanying pro-Trump graffiti sprayed all over Adam Yauch park in Brooklyn, — first of all, really? Who dares to desecrate the beastie boys. Second, what the actual fuck. Crying because the thing I never thought would happen is happening. Breathing presence, intensity, wild witchy fury.
  • Crying because this ugliness has now made its way to Portland, to my neighborhood, where a friend of a friend was followed home, and a swastika was painted on her garage. How is this happening. How is this happening so quickly. Breathing for a plan.
  • Crying because Trump is not even in office yet and we already have CNN entertaining the actual question “are jews people”, so great that they can discuss neo-nazi concerns but not name neo-nazis as such. A breath for saying what things are. Do not even start with this “alt-right” bullshit. Name what they are. Breathing fire dragon breath of Clarity and Purpose.
  • Crying because of the disconnect, I have no context for how to react to any of this, my muslim and jewish friends here in the states are all waking in the middle of the night from terrifying dreams, our passports under our pillows like hmmmmm how soon should we be packing, while the rest of my friends are more like, man, this situation sucks. Two extremes. One seems like it might be too much, the other is definitely not enough. But there is no way to tell. I kind of just want someone to tell me exactly how much I should be freaking out, because I suspect my panicking is fueled by inherited cultural programming, but at the same time I am 99% sure that the calmer people in my life are not freaking out nearly enough. Breathing for perspective.
  • Crying because there so much that needs to be done. Breathing presence and present-time.
  • Crying over mundane bullshit in the business and our old server that needs upgrading and the site going down and how is there always so much work to do, and normally this stuff wouldn’t have me in tears but I’m kind of a wreck because of all the other stuff, so there it is. Breathing comfort.
  • Inhale, exhale. May all misunderstandings and distortions, internal and external, dissolve in love if not in laughter. May peacefulness prevail. Trust-more love-more release-more receive-more. Goodbye (and thank you), mysteries and hard moments of this week.

Breathing for the good, reassuring, and magical!

  • Things that help: TRE, old turkish lady yoga, balancing, rest, walking, hugs, tea, writing, friends. I have all of those. I am healthy. Breathing immense thankfulness.
  • The disastrous political situation is forcing me to get powerfully focused, to prioritize both what takes care of me and what I am passionate about. This is important. Breathing power.
  • Walks in the desert with the cowboy, breathtaking sunsets, delicious food. Breathing joy.
  • At some point I stopped crying and started doing all the things. Glad about that.
  • Writing all day every day. Breathing thankfulness for an outlet.
  • Mice are gone! Breathing appreciation.
  • I know what I want. I am very clear about this. A breath for the many things that are possible.
  • Usually I hate thanksgiving but this one was quiet and peaceful, out in the beautiful volcanic tablelands, cozy and happy. Breathing thankfulness.
  • The thing that always scares me the most is not scaring me right now. A breath for this.
  • Laughing again. A breath for silliness and joy.
  • Finished two projects that seemed like they would never be done! Breathing gladness.
  • Excited about possibility. A breath for this.
  • I like motorhome life. The cozy mornings with the wind howling outside, the beautiful surroundings, the simplicity. I am okay with wearing the same thing each day and not showering that much. I like the peacefulness, the seclusion and the way it makes me sit down and write. Breathing love.
  • Thankfulness. Treasure in the form of love, sweetness, airplane mode, breakfast, big ideas, companionship. A breath of deep appreciation in my thank-you heart.


I had the superpowers of remembering my superpowers and seeing connections.

I want the superpower of calm clear easy positive focus.

May it be so.

How was your week?

Come play in the comments. Share something from your week, take a breath, or just say hi! No rules, my format doesn’t have to be yours, we’ve been doing this every week for years now and there still isn’t a right way.

Everyone belongs. We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. We lovingly refrain from giving advice.

And of course it’s always okay to comment under a made-up name, whether for play and delight, or in the interest of Safety First.

Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.

Shabbat shalom.

It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — jump in whenever you like. Blowing kisses to the Beloved Lurkers too!

The Fluent Self