very personal ads

I write a Very Personal Ad each week to practice wanting, listening, getting clear on my desires

the point isn’t getting my wish (though cool things have emerged from wishing), the point is learning about my relationship with what I want, accessing the qualities

wanting can be hard, it is easy to feel conflicted about it, and the reasons for that make this a surprisingly subversive practice…

this is the 323rd consecutive week of wishing, come play!

playing in a new form

I am writing these wishes in woem form
not because they are filled with woe —
just the opposite

this week’s wishes fill me with great joy

I am writing these wishes in woem form
(here is another example)
(of what I mean by that)
because sometimes it is useful to
activate a different part of the mind
to access the powers of form, creative play
and fearless
intentional choosing

and sure I could call this “free-form poetry” or whatever but then I’d feel pressure to try and make it “good”, whatever that means, which defeats the point of using woems to access a different flow state

and also

truth be told, in this moment I feel
intensely unmotivated
to write in any other form

so that’s how it is
right now

and really, what is the practice of wishing if not being deeply present
with WHAT IS
in order to hear the desires emerging in my
thank-you heart

at the foot/head

sunday night was erev rosh hashana (new year’s eve)

literally the eve of the head of the year

I feel strongly about erev, as a concept, as you know

erev, the eve of X, is that breath of entry,
everything that leads to a moment, heightened
anticipation

I wrote in my notebook:
mish’alot b’margelot ha’har

(wishes at the foot of the mountain)
(or really, in the foothills of the mountain)
(a foot pun)

from the ground to the head

friends of friends, in spain, have a sort of nickname for this day
they call it erev rosh: head eve! eve of the head!

feet is a theme lately for me
(grounding, standing in my strength, new foundations)

so if we have reached the eve of the head, and
the year is a cycle, then I must have been just
finishing up the feet

this is how

I decided to wish my wishes for the new year
from the foot of the mountain

a metaphorical mountain, prettier in hebrew
margelot are like
foothills
such a lovely word

wishes for a suite new year

so I already have
this internal joke about quarters/quarters
with each section of the year being like a home

and now the sweet new year sounds
like a suite new year (delight!)

I invited qualities and superpowers for this
new year — this head of a new year —
to come in from where I sat
at the foot

come in, come in!

come in….

beautifully anchored
relaxed panther grace
I love my edges
luscious minimalism
okay, luscious EVERYTHING

what else is seeded with these seeds of light?

I take exquisite care of myself and cherish
myself and the people and objects in my life

practicing fearless intentional choosing —
anything incongruent and disharmonious exits my life quickly and easily,
so that my cherishing powers stay strong….

with beautiful, glowingly powerful boundaries that I
don’t need to enforce because they just are

I radiate presence, inhabit my life
TAKING UP SPACE UNAPOLOGETICALLY

enjoying being

wild and free * joyful and free
grounded and free * passionate and free
loving and free * conscious and free
intentional and free * alive and free

I guess FREEDOM is kind of a big deal this year for me huh

in the wish field

erev rosh felt like an extra powerful wish-field of support
in which to whisper
oh wow what beautiful wishes

I wrote fifty two wishes for the new year
no, I liberated them
from my heart
into a notebook of secret red balloons

and in the wish streams

monday was tashlich
my favorite ritual
both communal (everyone descends to the river)
and solitudinal (you, alone, with your thoughts)

you cast breadcrumbs into the water for
anything you regret or
anything asking to be release

you let go of the year so that there is space for incoming you

compass

a bread crumb landing in water is like skipping a stone
it makes a compass around itself
echoing out in circles

this year

I didn’t have so much to release
this year of easing & releasing
has been so intense
my time by the river this year
felt much lighter

there have been times
I’ve neglected myself
or the beautiful container of my body
forgotten sovereignty and stirred
many unnecessary stew pots
said thoughtless things

mostly though
I feel peaceful with this year
with these feet, with this ground
with this rippling out

welcome, welcome, new beautiful year, I love you already

and thank you, past year for
everything, from the very hard to the
very sweet, each moment of you was treasure
in its own way, and I am so grateful
to be alive

thank you for teaching me some hard things, and as
Claire of the Mysteries says, also
thanking me for being receptive to learning them

anything else about this?

sometimes I have conflicted thoughts
about every aspect of
wishing
and even this weekly ritual
(which I love)

and then I remember: my whole life is a Wishery

that is, space for getting quiet
enough
to hear my true yes desires
and release
all that needs releasing

amen

now

I am emptying my house, preparing
to move somewhere
much smaller
that might not exist
(yet)

and found a lovely copper colored vase
if you put a tea light inside
it flickers in the
most remarkable pattern

I’d been storing pencils in it
not even knowing
how it glows

superpower of fearless intentional choosing.

September - Stand in My Strength Moreaugust was trust more

now I am ready to stand in my strength more,
as september brings fearless intentional choosing

these three words are also the
true elements of turning inward
to reveal wishes or
(woe-less) woems

last week’s wishes

aka majestic and wild and so very alive…

I wanted the superpower of “don’t fuck with me” grace — like a powerful horse,
and I received this, or moments of it
and loved it and want more

thank you, process of writing about wishes, and thank you, me who asked

invitation: come play with me…

you are invited to share many !!!!!! about what is here,
or share anything sparked for you while reading

deposit wishes, gwishes, superpowers, qualities, ingredients, intel, possibly in code

safe space for creative exploration asks us to let go of care-taking and advice-giving

wishes are never late because whenever you wish is the right time for wishing

here’s how we meet each other’s wishes: oh, wow what beautiful wishes