very personal adsPersonal ads. They’re … personal! Very.

I write a Very Personal Ad each week to practice wanting, and get clarity about my desires. The point isn’t getting my wish (though cool things have emerged from wishing), the point is learning about my relationship with what I want, and accessing the qualities. Wanting can be hard, it is easy to feel conflicted about it, and the reasons for that make this a surprisingly subversive practice…


Last week I received the mysterious and wonderful word “shed” (double-meaning!), and now the word of the week is moho.

This is interesting because, unlike shed, it is not really a word.

So I get to play. And I like to play.

If moho is secret code, or a delicious mystery, what do I know about it?

Things moho might conceivably stand for…

  1. motor home, which is both a symbol and a clue for how I want to live even if it isn’t exactly how I want to live…
  2. mohorovicic discontinuity: the boundary between the earth’s crust and mantle, across which there is a sudden change in the velocity of seismic waves — this sentence excites me!
  3. mohair: on
  4. mohawk: orange!
  5. maha om — maha is Sanskrit and means great
  6. monastic honesty
  7. mothering home
  8. more honoring

Other words and sounds that come up for me: mellifluous orchestration, moon healing observatory, mahogany

What else?

Oh! MOHO could also be an acronym! I am wildly in love with acronyms.

Mission Of Holistic Ops! Messages On Happy Ordinances. Meticulous Ordering of Helpful Offerings. May Openings and Healing Occur.

I asked my brother, and he came up with these:

Mice Often Heal Otters! Moose Only Help Orangutans! Muskrats Ought to Hide Oregano!

And now I want to read an children’s book (illustrated by Richard, of course) about all of those.

MOHO can also work as a compass. North is M, East is O, South is H, West is O.

And if you, dear reader, wish to play as well and share associations or invent things moho might mean or stand for, you are welcome and invited to drop them into the comments! Though I wish for either positive or neutral or silly things, not depressing ones…

For example, Moroccan Hot Sauce totally works for me, as does Majestic Ostrich Hops Onward. Meningitis Oncology Heart-failure Oh-no does not! Also, pretty sure Moroccan Hot Sauce is just one guy.

What do I know about this wish?

Um, nothing yet?

Let’s see.

I like mysteries. I like secret code. I like missions and ops. I like surprises. I like receiving intel, even if I don’t understand it yet.

I also like possibility: moho can be anything, which means there are so many wonderful ways to be surprised. Come in, come in, superpowers of Good Surprises and Receptivity To Being Delighted.


Something just landed.

My two big life themes right now are MOON and HOME.

And a moon home is like an alternate name for an earthship, something I am currently obsessed with.

What else could moon home be?

Moon for me is about lunar cycles, syncing up my beautiful downstairs bodyparts with the moon so we wax and wane at the same times. It is about Operation Loving Downstairs, making peace with this body of mine and feeling deeply at home in it.

Yes, home and at home.

Home is also related to containers, anything that holds a process, or anything that is a home inside of a home.

Home is also related to Shmita and Operation True Yes: it is now just over three months that I have been on the road, living in an nine foot living space aka the Bouncy Castle, the tiny, sweet camper on my lover’s truck.


I love living small. Sometimes we talk about downsizing to a van, and sometimes we talk about expanding into a larger camper, sometimes it’s building a small portable house, and all of these are fun to imagine, in different ways.

I love opening the skylight above the bed at night, being right there under moon and stars.

This month is the Month of Releasing, and that is related to moon cycles as well.

The moon is also a model for how I want to live.

Half the time in expanding mode, half the time in quieting mode.

The ha and the tha.

If you’ve ever taken a yoga class or thought about it, you’ve probably run into the term hatha yoga.

Most studios generally present this as if it is a kind of yoga, but actually ALL yoga is hatha yoga.

{HA = sun / THA = moon}

The HA is everything that is active: making things happen is HA, strength poses are HA, getting things done is HA, going after what you want is HA.

The THA is everything that is restorative, receptive, passive: resting is THA, stretching is THA, listening is THA, letting things emerge and be revealed is THA.

HA is doing, THA is being.

The HA is the yang to the THA yin.

And just like with yin/yang, neither is good or bad, and there’s no such thing as something which is entirely ha or tha. There is always a kernel of one inside of the other.

Even in a handstand (HA!), parts of you need to be relaxed (THA!). Even while resting (THA!), your body is still running all these different internal processes (HA!).

Both HA and THA are vital and necessary parts of being alive, both can hold GRACE and PRESENCE and JOY.

Off balance.

Our culture loves HA, and is not so into THA, other than as a vague idea that some people blog about sometimes (self-care is good!).

The other day I was at an aerobics class (HA!), and the instructor said something like, “Isn’t it so great that you took this hour for you? This is your you-time!”, and all the busy, exhausted moms cheered.

And I thought, oh dear lord, how did we get to this point, collectively, that an hour out of twenty four is considered a victory? I mean, it is a victory, and also it’s a pretty low bar for taking care of ourselves. That’s not how I want to live at all.

One of the things I’m trying to figure out through this experiment in Shmita (Releasing/Sabbatical) is how I can find a way to live/work that can consist of equal parts Being and Doing…

Because they way I’ve been doing things up until now is Lots And Lots Of DOING.

Actually it’s more like All DOING Followed By Having A Breakdown and Practicing BEING Because It’s An Emergency But Just Until I Recover And Then It’s Back To Just DOING Again.

What if Moon Home is a way to bring more moon (THA) energy and practices into my life? What if Moon Home is creating an internal culture of me where Moon feels like home?

I love this part.

Each week I write a wish, and each week I think “what is this even about?”.

And then suddenly it becomes clear. Sometimes as I am wishing, sometimes weeks later.

This is a wish about giving myself permission to devote more of my time and attention to being.

Being with my body, being with the process of releasing, being with the things I want to create when I am ready to be in doing mode.


Not only are you invited to name things that MOHO could mean or stand for, you are also invited to name things in our culture that emphasizse HA over THA, and then you can say HA! Because that is fun.

Also! Last week I asked for votes for your preferences on four possible ebooks that I might write.

Matt asked me on Twitter if I was also taking write-in votes for things people want me to write. And I wasn’t, except now I am actually really CURIOUS.

So — I make no promises to write any of these — what would you want me to write about if you got a fairy godmother wish and could choose the topic of a Havi e-book? If it were up to you, and I would write the thing you wanted to read from me, what would it be? Or ten books, while we are playing with wishes.

I am listening.


We are almost at new moon. Hello, new moon.

Me: Hey, slightly-wiser me, what do you have for me?

She: I love your wishes! I love how you process! I love how this lets you take steps towards me so we can play!
Me: Do you know what moho means? Or does it even matter?
She: I promise that we will laugh about this delightedly at some point.


I just looked around my space, pausing to really look and feel, and guess what?

Right next to my laptop is my lip and cheek stain from Fat & The Moon. The moon!

Also that sweet little tin is like a symbol of how I want to live. It is my (amazing) lip balm AND my lipstick, it is a gorgeous color, it is the perfect answer to a wish I made here a long time ago, and it is also my blush and my eye shadow.

It is made of beet root and sunflower oil and beeswax and essential oils and magic, no plastic involved. It’s a moon clue and a clue about living joyfully and intentionally. I’ll take it!

The superpower of I am stronger than I think.

June - Release MoreThe quality for May was REVERBERATE, and it comes with I take care of myself first. Now we are in June: RELEASE MORE, with the quality of I am stronger than I think.

I really love how the moons/months are blending together, both the qualities and the superpowers.

This week’s wish is absolutely about taking care of myself first, and also about the strength that it takes (I am stronger than I think) to do that and to commit to it. It means going agains the larger, louder culture we live in.

I wouldn’t have thought that not-doing (THA!) and releasing (THA!) required so much strength (HA!) and determination (HA!) but it does, and that is beautiful.

Things I find helpful for intentions and wishes…

Nap, dance, write, play, labyrinths. Get quiet. Sweet pauses, yes to red lights and purple pills, thank you to the broken pots. Costume changes. Skip stones. Body first. Thank you in advance. Eight breaths in eight directions:

Adventure. Rest. Horizons. Security. Passion. Sweetness. Clarity. Presence.

Ongoing wishes.

Seeds planted without explanation, a mix of secret agent code and silent retreat. Things to play with someday.

Everything is easier than I thought, and look, miracles everywhere. Ha, this doesn’t require my input! My business is thriving happily without me. I think like a dancer. It’s so perfect it turned out like this. Past me is a GENIUS. I have what I need, and appreciate it. I am fearless and confident. I state my preferences clearly, calmly and easily, no big deal. I am ready to come into my superpowers and receive.

Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.

So. Last week aka it’s a shed…

I wanted gentle releasing in the form of shedding, and I wanted to learn more about sheds that are houses and containers, and I got both.

This week involved much letting go of previous ideas and plans, and being wonderfully surprised by new possibilities.

And another reminder that our Fi needs support with the surgery for her sweet dog Molly, help if you can or spread the word!

Love more. Trust more. Release more. Receive more. Thank you, writing. Thank you, me who asked.

Attenzione! Attention, AGENTS.

I believe the Playground mugs are all sold but you can still acquire a pack of stone skipping cards just send a note and we’ll set it up. Ask Richard for cost/shipping.

Keep me company! Or just say hi!

This is an open invitation to deposit wishes, gwishes, personal ads, superpowers, qualities, whatever you’d like, there’s no right way! Updates on past experiments are welcome too, as is sharing anything sparked for you.

Comment culture: This is safe space for creative exploration. We are on vacation from care-taking and advice-giving. We are here to play and throw things in the pot! With amnesty. Leave a wish any time you want.

Here’s how we meet each other’s wishes: Oh, wow. What beautiful wishes.


The Fluent Self