very personal adsPersonal ads. They’re … personal! Very.

Each week I write a Very Personal Ad (aka Vision-Possibility-Anticipation) to practice wanting, and get clarity about my desires. Sometimes wanting feels conflicted or just plain hard, and that’s okay.

At the very least, useful noticings about my relationship with wanting. It all counts.

What do I want?

BDMV is the Big Dumb Mitten Visit.

The Mitten is Michigan.

The Big Dumb Mitten is what Bonnie calls Michigan.

I am going there.

I have mixed feelings about Michigan, and Michigan-in-the-winter and flying there. Actually, I have unmixed feelings about the second two things.

BDMV works for me in so many ways. Dumb is secretly related to: I am not speaking. Big has to do with how symbolically big. And the entire phrase can be shortened to Big DMV, which goes perfectly with my existing acronym: Department of Magical Voyages.

What I want is SMOOTHNESS and EASE with the visit. With no aftermath please.

What I want is Now Is Not Then.

What I want is to be able to remember and hang onto the things I’ve been practicing in the six years since my last visit.

What do I want?

To not be in my stuff about this.

Hahaha, I am so in my stuff about this.

What I want is a way to work with it, even though [STUFF], and to find the ease.

What do I want?

To stay grounded and centered. To know what I want. To take care of myself.

To remember the most important thing in the world: I don’t need to care what other people think about me or my life.

And lots of snacks.

What do I want?

Ease. Miracles. Simplicity. Perfect simple solutions. Good surprises. Speediness. Right timing. Present Time. Trust. Sweetness.

What do I want?

I am noticing how nervous I am about the plane rides. Planes destroy force fields and are hard on my body. To do this visit, I need the world’s strongest force field, and to be connected to my body so I don’t follow my tendency/inclination to disconnect and disassociate.

So I want strategies for the plane.

Where/how do I want to start?

What else could BDMV stand for?

Boldness. Daring. Mission. Valour!


Beauty. Desires. Melodies. Visions.

Anything else coming up?

This weekend I had a [potentially scary doctor visit] for the first time in many years. The last one had been pretty disastrous, so I was experiencing anxiety about this one.

I set things up with a lot of love, and with so much entry and gwish-scripting (writing out how I want to feel and what I experience while feeling it). I practiced all the practices.

And it was great. Smooth, easy. Nothing was wrong. All was well. I planted “all my interactions are harmonious”, and they were. I planted, “I am treated with enormous respect”, and I was.

So maybe this doctor visit was actually Secret Training for this voygage to the/my Big Dumb Mitten.

Maybe it was an example of how things can be, instead of a reminder of how things used to be.

What are the qualities of my wish?

Huh. Exactly the same compass from last time.

Peacefulness. Trust. Steadiness. Warmth. Grounding Anchors. Sweetness. Power. Clear seeing.

And the superpowers of I Am Not Alone.

What would help me move forward on this? How am I going to play?

Using a sankalpa.

Doing secret spirals with the compass and finding all the combinations.

Peacefull steadiness anchors the power. Trust warms the sweetness so that I can see clearly.

I trust in warmth. I am warming the sweetness. Sweetness is helping to clear my sight. I see this trust clearly. Peacefulness steadies me. Steady are the grounded anchors. Anchoring the power, so I can be powerfully peaceful.

Drawing a crown and a heart on my palm. Thinking: Crown. Heart.

What is my clue?

At the doctor’s office there was a piano that had the word CROWN on it.

Crown is my clue. When I am wearing my crown, I take care of myself. I set clear, loving expectations. I do not put up with crap. I am warm and gracious. I am connected to my thank-you heart.

Anything else?

If the plane ride is full of clues, then I can treat it as a passage and a mission.

So I am going to find the clues.

And I am going to wear my Headspace Protectors the entire time.

What else do I want?

Seeds planted without explanation, a mix of secret agent code and silent retreat dreams. Things I’m working on, or might be, someday…

  • The Compass of Signs.
  • May Peacefulness Prevail!
  • Announcements.
  • Everything is getting easier.
  • Miracles everywhere.
  • Regular dancing gigs at the ballroom, which is also the Spiegelsaal.
  • This doesn’t require my input!
  • Ha, it’s so perfect that it turned out like this.
  • Past me is a GENIUS.
  • I have what I need, and I appreciate it.
  • There is money for this.
  • Trust and steadiness. I can see why this moment is good.
  • Hawaii.
  • I am fearless and confident, and I do the brave things and give myself sparklepoints, and it is not even a big deal that I did the brave things but I still get sparklepoints, yay.

This week’s ops?

Mostly I am going to be dealing with the Mitten. I may wish to peek at Operation Rewire The Swishes.

I’m playing with…

Trust, fluidity, peacefulness, This Moment Is Right.

Attenzione! AGENTS.

I am deep in an undercover mission to get better at Gracefully Accepting Thanks. Or: Glowing Receptivity and Being Receptive to Glow.

This mission also resolves a question we get from people a lot, which is “I really, really want to thank you, except I’m not going to buy products and I can’t come to a Rally.” And it is also related to Operation Coming Out Of All The Closets, so I can share some experiences from Then where past-me thought her best survival strategy was not-sharing-how-hard-things-are.

If you would like to support my mission by sharing sweetness and appreciation for any aspect of my work, I would love that. You can do it with the magic of words, through the comments, or add something to Barrington’s Discretionary fund. (Explanation!)

And if the way you are glowing appreciation is quietly in your heart, I like that too. It all counts. ♡

Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.

So. Last week, aka Adaptability, clarity, music…

My wish had to do with adapting to new intel.

And using music.

Music was definitely a big part of this week. I also liked that Agent White sent me daily recommendations.

The smartest thing I seeded last week (that I know of) was I Have All The Support I Need. That really, really, really came through for me this week.

Thank you, writing. Thank you, me who asked.

Keep me company?

You are welcome to drop in with wishes, gwishes, visions, personal ads. Small or large, and in any form you like. There is no right way to do this. Updates on past experiments are welcome too, as is anything sparked for you.

Commenting culture: This is safe space for creative exploration. We ask for what we need. We are on permanent vacation from care-taking and advice-giving. We are here to play.

Let’s throw some things in the pot! And, as always, amnesty applies. Leave a wish here any time you want.


The Fluent Self