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Each week I write these Visions of Possibility and Anticipation to practice asking for what I want. And to get clarity on what that really is, even when asking feels conflicted.

I always get useful information about my relationship with various aspects of the ask. Join in if you like!

Thing 1: Fractal Flowers

Here’s what I want:

The technique/concept of fractal flowers is when you work on one thing and you let it secretly work on all the other things. Or you trust that doing X is somehow related to doing Y.

For example, writing the weekly VPAs right now is going to help me with all my projects for this week. I don’t know how yet but it will. Maybe it will show me something. Maybe it will serve as conscious entry. Maybe I’ll find a clew or access a quality. Maybe I won’t ever know how.

The point is, fractal flowers change my approach. Writing these isn’t taking me away from the other projects, it is working on them. Just under the surface.

Anyway, this week is an astoundingly busy week: Stompopolis projects, Floop projects, preparing to take two weeks off to go to the Vicarage, and the class on TIME which is this Thursday.

I have 7 missions that are all in flux.

So. Fractal flowers, please. Each thing I do helps all the other things! And I can feel it… slowly at first and then with more and more clarity and delight.

The qualities inside of the want:

Spontaneity, Serendipity, Flow, Magic, Surprises, Receptivity, Plenty, Spaciousness, Containment, Safety, Steadiness, Reassurance, Faith, Hope.

Ways this might work:

I don’t know. But that’s the whole point of fractal flowers: I don’t need to know.

I’m playing with…

Trust, trust and more trust.

And being as playful about this as I can, when I can.

Thing 2: Operation SECRET FLOWERS.

Here’s what I want:

This is kind of related to the fractal flowers but it’s more overtly related to my proxy mission from my Crossing the Line retreat, where I pretended that I was at the Crossing to study why flowers make everything better.

So now I know why flowers make everything better, and my new focus is on secret flowers secretly making things better. Things that function like flowers but they are not actually flowers.

For example, a pedicure is a form of secret flowers: it provides pleasure and color and beauty and comfort. With elements of ritual. Also the part where you look down and remember: specialness!

Similarly, it seems (to my monsters) like an Unnecessary Extravagance but it can also be transformational and part of a bigger process.

Another form of secret flowers (for me) is a bath bomb. Monsters don’t even like me writing about this. Girly! Extravagant! Stupid! We might have to rename it. But it’s a secret flower because scent and newness and sensual pleasure.

And because, much like flowers, it changes the bigger experience.

Anyway, I think this ask right now is mostly about investigating secret flowers, learning more about them and finding out what this mission is all about.

The qualities inside of the want:

Pleasure. Delight. Surprise. Smiling. Radiance. Resonance. Quiet. Peacefulness. Marveling. Softness. Wonder. Steadiness. Change.

Ways this might work:

There is a version of Incoming Me who excels at this. She is crazy good at this secret flowers thing. She finds it fun.

She knows how to plant things. And to set it up.

She is always smiling a secret smile about all the secret flowers.

So I think I’m going to ask her for some tips.

I’m playing with…

Smiling every time I see a flower or an image/representation of a flower, or even a bag of flour…. YES.

Thing 3: Something about sleep.

Here’s what I want:

So I don’t know if you guys remember this but last January I stopped sleeping.

Still not sure why, but that’s what happened.

I’d go to bed, and then suddenly wake up at 2am, fully awake.

It was awful. Every day was zombie day.

Anyway, it’s happening again but it’s different. Mainly because last year I just HATED it, and suffered. But this year I don’t seem to mind.

I want deep, restful sleep. And I want to continue to be okay with waking up early if it keeps happening. To stay committed to rejuvenation, in a variety of forms.

The qualities inside of the want:

Rest. Comfort. Peacefulness. Curiosity. Discovery. Trust. Rhythm. Reassurance. Resetting. Readiness.

Ways this might work:

I want to take a look at some Past Januaries of my life.

I definitely remember that the awful insomnia during my first year of university in Tel Aviv was in the winter.

Is this a thing that happens at this time? Something for the Almanac in the Book of Me?

And what do I want to change about January and my relationship to January, and/or about sleep and my relationship with sleep? Investigating.

I’m playing with…

Conducting (it’s code!) before bed.

Continuing with all the de-cobwebbing I’ve been doing.

Noticings about the things I want this week…

Time and space, of course. And it seems like reassurance is really important to me right now. Mmmm.

Bonus wishes, please!

Some of these are secret agent code and some of them are things I’m silent retreat-ing on. Some are qualities that will help. And some are almost pre-wishes: tiny seeds for future processing.

  • Fun words.
  • Marisa as my neighbor?!
  • Operation G.O.O.D.W.I.L.L.
  • Operation Luscious Curtains.
  • Finalizing the design for the new business cards.
  • A solemn promise.
  • Decide about January 2014.
  • Watches and watches.
  • Stompitty yay!
  • Friday.
  • On this night we dip twice? Dip dip dip dip dip dip dip dip dip. Just watch me.
  • Playing a different kind of game.
  • Letting beauty be its own reason.

I’m playing with…

Paying attention. Taking it to the Conducting Vault. Pauses.

Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.

Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.

I wanted to come up with a way of keeping track of special ops, and I figured out how. It’s a combination of the Floop, the Paperless app and the Red Rose Missives.

Next I wanted to open the doors of the Dolphin Adoption Agency to the public, and I did! There is still some work to be done there so I’m re-planting the ask, but the main thing was DOLPHINS, and dolphins are happening. Yay.

Then I was working on Operation Milliner, which was rewriting and editing the highly-charged and very subversive fifty page bonus ebook for the Time Class (there’s also a lot of swearing in it, I should tell you right now). And that is done! Sending it out today, I hope.

And I can’t remember what any of the bonus wishes were about, but they sound awesome. I hope they are all sparkling away, doing marvelous things. Maybe they are their own fractal and/or secret flowers. 🙂

Playing. Shelter for the comments.

What’s welcome: Your own wishes, gwishes, visions and personal ads, small or large. Updates on past ones if you like. Things sparked for your own process.

I’m receptive to warm wishes for the things I’m working on and playing with.

We ask for what we need, and we give each other space and spaciousness for the process.

This is a place of safety for creative play and exploration, with a very non-dogmatic approach. We don’t tell each other how to ask for things and we don’t give unsolicited advice. We play.

That’s it. Let’s throw a bunch of things in the pot!

As always, amnesty applies. Leave a wish here any time you want.


The Fluent Self