very personal adsPersonal ads. They’re … personal! Very.

Each week I write these VPAs to practice asking for what I want. And to get clarity on what that really is, even when asking feels conflicted.

I always get useful information about my relationship with various aspects of the ask. Join in if you like!

Thing 1: Progress on the Playground website.

Here’s what I want:

We’re making a special website just for the Playground.

Still lots to do on it, but I’d like to make whatever decisions need to be made and at least put something up.

Ways this could work:

I can ask you guys lots of questions, especially about the photos.

Or ask at the Frolicsome Bar or the Twitter bar.

The Biggification Board and the Deguiltified Chicken Board at my Kitchen Table program have both been crazy helpful with things like this, so I’ll probably enlist some help there as well.

And of course I can use the Rally (Rally!) that starts tomorrow night, though I already have about twenty-billion other things I want to Rally on, and anyway, Rally always has its own surprise agenda that shows up.

My commitment.

To figure out what might be delaying this in the soft.

To negotiate with monsters, as necessary.

To be genuinely curious about what would help this project move forward.

Thing 2: momentum!

Here’s what I want:

I’ve been having a lot of fun doing things with my body this past week (tramping on the trampoline! walking! dancing! aerobics!), and I need a way to keep this up while Rallying.

Obviously there is plenty of physical stuff at Rally too. We do Shiva Nata every morning and there’s old Turkish lady yoga every afternoon.

But I want more.

Ways this could work:

Waking earlier than early to tramp/walk/jump around, etc.

I don’t know.

My commitment.

To be open to surprising and unlikely possibilities that I haven’t thought of.

To practice the noticing and noticing thing, so that I’m being really present with my body at all times.

To do lots of silly dances at the Playground because the Playground is very good for silly dances.

Thing 3: the Shiva Nata iPhone app!

Here’s what I want:

We are really close to getting this ready to go.

The hard parts (recording the audio, the programming, the madness) are done or mostly done in the case of the latter, and now it’s about lots of DETAILS and DECISIONS.

And some writing.

I am so excited about this!

Ways this could work:

A window of 2–3 hours to work on it could magically appear. Or I could delegate some of the Rally prep work?


My commitment.

To flail around disastrously with Shiva Nata and then to sleep on it.

To keep doing that until I have either the perfect, simple solution or I know what I’m afraid of.

Thing 4: a glass straw

Here’s what I want:

I have to take iron and I have to take the liquid form and it makes my teeth purple, which is seriously the most depressing thing.

It looks like I’m related to the Schmoppet.

To have it stop staining my teeth purple, I’m supposed to mix it in juice and then drink with a straw. I dislike straws. The taste of plastic in my mouth is really unpleasant. And I don’t like the idea of more plastic crap in the house.

Ways this could work:

I would love recommendations from you, if you’ve tried something that you like.

Could also ask at the Twitter bar.

My commitment.

To be really, ridiculously, over-the-top clear in my ask:

What I want is the straw.

I do not want to be told I should go back to eating meat (tried it in the past with no significant change in iron levels).

Similarly, not interested in spinach recipes or suggestions about iron-rich foods (I eat plenty of these already — and what’s true for someone’s Aunt Vivian is not necessarily what is true for me, because people vary).

And I’ve tried iron in pill form. It doesn’t work as effectively for me.

Also, not interested in hearing about “oh no what if you bite the straw and then it breaks in your mouth”. These things are incredibly durable, you’d have to drop one off of a building to break it. Thank you. End transmission.

Asking for things is uncomfortable enough — adding twenty-seven caveats makes it harder! But in my experience, it’s even worse when you don’t and then everyone wants to be helpful and you haven’t told them what actually is (and sometimes isn’t) helpful.

So. That’s what I want.

Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.

Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.

Hmmmm. I wanted to close my Firefox tabs, which I did, but now here they are again. So maybe what I really need is some insights about what this is about and what it gives me. Security? Reminders?

Then I wanted to do some work on the theme of being at home with money. Did a really helpful session with Hiro on it, and a lot of work on my own. Uncovered some things that are interesting.

We’ll have to see how it goes as I keep working on it. It’s a big one.

I wanted a hidden board to work on a project, and got some neat suggestions there.

And I really, really was hoping I’d get a chance to enjoy the glorrrrious weather, and I totally did. Lots of walking in the sun and visiting gardens and being outdoors. So hooray for that.

Comment zen. Here’s what I’d love today.

Your own personal ads, small or large. Things you’ve asked for. Or are asking for. Or would like to ask for. Or updates on last time!

Stuff I’d rather not have:

The word “manifest”. To be told how I should be asking for things. To be judged, psychoanalyzed or given unsolicited advice.

Much love for your gwishes! So happy to have you doing this with me.

The Fluent Self