very personal adsPersonal ads. They’re … personal! Very.

So my itty bitty personal ads made me realize that it’s time to make a regular practice of trying to feel okay asking for stuff.

Even when the asking thing feels weird and conflicted.

Ever since I posted the first one asking my perfect house to find me, which united me with Hoppy House, I have been a fan of the madness that is personal ads.

And now it’s my Sunday ritual for clarity and remembering and stuff like that. Yay, ritual!

Let us dooo eeeet.

Thing 1: Oh, to stop feeling like crap. That would be good.

Here’s what I want:

The last teaching trip combined with visit to un-laws really knocked me out.

I am ready to get out of what feels like a permanent state of fog-head and get back to myself.

Ways this could work:

Committing way more … aggressively? intentionally?… to taking care of myself.

Not doing things that are not directly connected to helping me get better.


Yoga. Slow, inquisitive old Turkish lady yoga.

Doing the Shiva Nata patterns in my head, since my body can’t do them right now. Just being in the bath of patterns.

Also in the real bath.

My commitment.

Taking notes.

Remembering how much this sucks so I can not get myself into this situation next time.

To go to where the water is.

Thing 2: To work on the Book of Me at a slumber party or some other unlikely gathering.

Here’s what I want:

The truth is, the feeling-like-crap was predictable. I did things that went against every single piece of smart advice that belongs in the Book of Me.

I went and broke all the absolutely absolutelies.

I knew what was needed but I either forgot or didn’t take it seriously enough.

So it’s time to revisit the Book of Me. And the dammit list.

And I want to do that in a more formal way. Because if it was easily accessible (like my fabulous Pirate Queen Anthology), I could have consulted it.

Ways this could work:

A Rally! I can throw a special Rally that’s just for working on and assembling the Book of You.

Or fit a Book of You unit into the Week of Destuckification program.

Or a slumber party at the Playground.*

* Not really a slumber party, of course, because my personal Book of Me has way too much accumulated evidence to show that staying up late is a disaster in the making. But a gathering of fun.

My commitment.

To get silly and creative with this.

To use magic markers.

And I can try out Maryann’s Secret Playdate (on Toozday) as the place to start.

Thing 3: Back into my routines.

Here’s what I want:

Now that I’m not traveling, I want back in!

My morning walks and tramping and the various rituals and everything else that falls under the category of here’s-how-we-do-things.

Everything that supports me.

I have missed it so much.

Ways this could work:


Piece by piece.

With love and sweetness, not with guilt or impatience. With creativity and curiosity.

I can remember why each routine became a routine to begin with. I can invent new ones. I can be open to being surprised.

My commitment.

To stay connected to the qualities that these routines and rituals give me:

Support, comfort, trust, reassurance, stability, play.

And to figure out what else I need.

To go at my own pace and see what happens.

Thing 4: Congruence.

Here’s what I want:

This is a Hiro-word.

I’m not sure how to talk about this yet, but I’m in the process of observing my life and my space, and moving out all the things that don’t match. Everything that doesn’t fit.

Ways this could work:

With the magic wand, of course.

I’ll see what it wants to point to.

Or with writing, my usual way. That works too.

My commitment.

To remember that it’s a process. To remember that everything moves. To notice the points where I want things not to move.

And… some tiny VPAs for today!

Here’s what I want today:

A long walk.

Two hours of writing/decorating/attention for the Cultural Tour Guide.

Ways this could work:

I’m committing to it right now, and waiting to see what comes from that.

My commitment.

Experimentation. Observation. Receptivity. Love.

Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.

Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.

Let’s see. I wanted a completely ridiculous coatrack or hatstand for the Playground. And we got tons of suggestions from the commenter mice and at the Twitter bar.

So thank you.

There were things that needed brunching (announcing), and I got sick and that didn’t happen. But I have been doing a lot of thinking about how and what and when. Useful.

I wanted to be able to write a thing that I couldn’t write, and big progress has been made on that. Still upset, but I’m writing.

And we had an administrative nightmare that was very nightmarish, but it’s slowly getting sorted, and people have been very patient and understanding about it, so yay.

Comment zen. Here’s what I’d love today.

  • Your own personal ads, small or large. Things you’ve asked for. Or are asking for. Or would like to ask for. Or updates on last time!

Stuff I’d rather not have:

  • The word “manifest”.
  • To be told how I should be asking for things.
  • To be judged, psychoanalyzed or given unsolicited advice.

Wishing love and good things for your Very Personal Ads! So glad for everyone doing this with me.

The Fluent Self