very personal adsPersonal ads! They’re … personal! Very.

So my itty bitty personal ads made me realize that it’s time to make a regular practice of trying to feel okay asking for stuff.

Even when the asking thing feels weird and conflicted.

Ever since I posted the first one asking my perfect house to find me, which united me with Hoppy House, I have been a fan of the madness that is personal ads.

And now it’s my Sunday ritual for clarity and remembering and stuff like that. Yay, ritual!

Let us dooo eeeet.

Thing 1: The Week of Biggification!

Here’s what I want:

So I’m teaching a thing that is quite possibly the most crazy-inspired brilliant life-changing thing ever, and I am far too excited about it.

It’s eight days of Biggification* in Asheville, North Carolina. November 3-10.

* Biggification! Mindful biggification! Growing yourself and your thing in creative, fun, hilarious ways, dissolving fears, making things happen, coming up with the most genius plan possible.

Even though this program is already more than half full (because my clients insisted on first dibs), it would probably be a good thing if I put up the copy and announced it and stuff like that.

Right now I cannot even begin to describe how impossibly fabulous this is, but you can at least peek at the outrageously great itinerary to get an idea.

Ways this could work:

I can do the three things that need to be done for the HAT (Havi Announces a Thing) page to go live.

One of those things? Remembering to un-password-protect it. Right.

I can write love letters to the right people.

And dance dance dance.

My commitment.

To remember how much fun this is going to be.

To adore all my people, and remember (remind them too) that even if we can’t be together this time, we will do wonderful things together eventually.

To bring this joyfulness and appreciation and silliness into every single thing I do related to our Week of Biggification. No work. Just play.

Thing 2: Being immune to other people’s angst. A perfect, simple solution.

Here’s what I want:

Someone close to me is dealing with pretty high levels of existential angst right now. Oh! So much hard.

I want to be able to love this person with my whole heart, and still take care of myself so that my distress doesn’t get triggered by their distress.

Ways this could work:

I can remember that I already know how to do this.

I can practice separating my stuff from their stuff. Reminding myself that I get to work on what’s mine and not on anything else.

What else? I can process the process and do a bunch of writing about it. Have conversations with my monsters, and with my sad, scared selves.

I can work with Hiro‘s excellent advice to create safe spaces for myself.

My commitment.

To be receptive to perfect, simple solutions other than the most obvious one (me doing more with my stucknesses).

To avoid certain topics of conversation.

To be loving to myself when I can, and trust that it will come when I can’t.

Thing 3: So close to done!

Here’s what I want:

I have a project that I have been projectizing and it is so almost ready.

It really just needs a few more hours of love from me.

But this week has client calls and teleclasses and visitors and brunching the Week of Biggification.

Can it be done? And how? And in a way that doesn‘t involve a descent into madness? Oh I hope so.

Ways this could work:

Not sure.

Maybe some early morning cafe time with Selma (my duck) and Mack (my computer).

Maybe some writing to myself about creating pockets of time like we did on the Rally (Rally!)

My commitment.

To want this. And to trust that wanting counts.

To stay connected to myself. To sneak off and have a sexy love affair with this project.

To hang out with metaphor mouse some more.

Thing 4: Anyone driving from San Francisco to Portland?

Here’s what I want:

Last week I asked for costumes for the Playground, and then LeeAnn made us the charming offer of three boxes she has.

She’s in San Francisco. We’re in Portland. Maybe we can find someone who is planning a drive up the coast who would like to perform the mensch-like service of costume-delivery!

Ways this could work:

I can put out the ask here, among my lovely readers and into the ether.

We could look on Craigslist. My amazing uncle Svevo, who often does odd and unlikely things — some of which involve creative ways to move things from one place to another — might have ideas too. I can ask him!

Also, I can choose a date by which I would like this to happen, so that if it doesn’t, we can arrange to have her ship them to us and pay the costs.

My commitment.

To appreciate the wealth of creative ideas and possibilities that are available to me.

To be receptive to this working out in a way I might not normally think of.

To dance happily around the costume room in my feather boa, of course.

Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.

Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.

Oh the joyfulness. So yes, I asked for a wild rumpus of costumery, and all sorts of wonderful people gave me ideas and suggestions.

And then some people offered to mail us things! Hooray!

If you are one of those people, you can send things here:

The Fluent Self
1526 NE Alberta St #218
Portland, OR 97211
United States

Thank you!

I also made an ask related to a dining room table for Hoppy House, and, more specifically, figuring out why I am stuckified around this. Some progress was made.

A gorgeous table was peeked at. The realization that we may need someone with a truck was pondered. And it was thought about. So this case is not yet closed but I will keep thinking about it.

And then I wanted to do some more thinking about my Shivanautical epiphany that not everything needs a response, and that has definitely been happening. A good week of VPA-ing, all in all. Happy.

Comment zen. Here’s what I’d love today.

  • Your own personal ads, small or large. Things you’ve asked for. Or are asking for. Or would like to ask for. Or updates on last time!

What I’d rather not have:

  • The word “manifest”.
  • To be told how I should be asking for things.
  • To be judged, psychoanalyzed or given advices.

Wishing love and good things for your Very Personal Ads! So glad for everyone doing this with me.

The Fluent Self