very personal adsPersonal ads! They’re … personal! Very.

So my itty bitty personal ads made me realize that it’s time to make a regular practice of trying to feel okay asking for stuff.

Even when the asking thing feels weird and conflicted.

Ever since I posted the first one asking my perfect house to find me, which united me with Hoppy House, I have been a fan of the madness that is personal ads.

And now it’s my Sunday ritual for clarity and remembering and stuff like that. Yay, ritual!

Let us dooo eeeet.

Thing 1: More costumes for the Playground.

Here’s what I want:

One of the most marvelous things about the recent Rally (Rally!) we held at the Playground was this:

Somehow everyone spontaneously decided to raid the costume box in the Treasure Room to adorn themselves with silliness for the evening Chicken.

It was awesome. Even better? The collection of extremely fabulous costumes that Cynthia brought for us to play with while rallying.

Now that the Rally is over, I am hyper-aware of how limited our collection is.

I would like to have more silliness! More crazy hats! More feather boas! More unlikely and ridiculous things to wear exuberantly.

And, while I’m asking, I would also love to have one of those … it’s like a rack? on wheels? to hang clothing on? … whatever it’s called, I wish to have one at the Playground.

Ways this could work:

Let’s see.

I might happen upon some good costume elements at a neighborhood yard sale.

A mysterious patron might donate some.

There could be a crazy thing like a costume sale and someone could tell me about it.

Some of my readers might have wonderful things for us. Or ideas about where we might find them. Or both.

My commitment.

To be receptive to just how many ways there are through which these delightful garments can make their way to the Playground.

To remember all the bizarre and beautiful things than can happen when you incorporate costumes into everything you do.

To dress up! To wear my sovereignty boots and my pirate queen necklace and ride the hobby horse. To share pictures when we have more costumes.

Thing 2: a table.

Here’s what I want:

Our dear Hoppy House has an empty dining room again (long story).

I have been looking for the perfect table (locally made, reclaimed wood, broad, simple, a work of love) for it.

But then I keep tripping over things.

There’s a lot of discomfort for me in this.

So I want the table to find me or for me to find it. But really I want to work through whatever stuff is coming up.

Ways this could work:

Of course. I can process the process by writing about it.

I can ask for table recommendations.

And write love letters to the table and to the me who is feeling weird about it.

My commitment.

To be patient with myself while I work through whatever it is that needs attention right now.

To remember that whatever this is has to be legitimate, even if it’s also feeling awkward and embarrassing and stupid to have issues about a table.

To invite Denise over for dinner to be the first official guest at the Hoppy House table when it comes.

Thing 3: more understandings related to a crazy Shivanautical epiphany.

Here’s what I want:

So at the Rally last week, we did a fair amount of Shiva Nata for extra brain-scrambling goodness.

From the delicious chaos emerged all sorts of big understandings, realizations and pieces of intriguing information.

But the one that is messing with me the most:

I got this very clear understanding, in five words:

Not everything requires a response.

To which my brain said WHAT?!?!

And whenever I poked at it to find out more, I just got the same thing but slower and louder.

Not. Everything. Requires. A. Response.

Fascinating! But what am I supposed to do with this? Other than the obvious: not respond!

Ways this could work:

I can journal about this. Ask questions. Interview various parts of myself.

Talk to my monsters and my negotiators and the Greek chorus in my spine.

Brainstorm various situations in which a response might or might not be required and see what happens when I bring this sentence in.

I don’t know! It’s breaking my head. But in a really, really good way.

My commitment.

To be curious. Receptive. Loving.

To be willing to interact with the idea that I am in fact wrong about all sorts of things, and that I might also be wrong about what requires a response and when.

To take lots of notes and share some of them with you.

Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.

Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.

I wanted progress on a HAT (a Havi’s Announcing a Thing page), and boy did that ever happen. The Rally did brilliant things.

Not only did I write all the copy but I also planned the entire schedule, the content, the exercises and created an entirely new way of handling applications. GENIUS! Yay, Rally.

The next thing I wanted was rest, and I got some. Not really as much as was necessary, but significantly more than I’d thought possible.

And right people for Hiro’s call. She got a gazillion sign-ups so that totally worked. Thanks, guys!

Comment zen. Here’s what I’d love today.

  • Your own personal ads, small or large. Things you’ve asked for. Or are asking for. Or would like to ask for. Or updates on last time!

What I’d rather not have:

  • The word “manifest”.
  • To be told how I should be asking for things.
  • To be judged, psychoanalyzed or given advices.

Wishing love and good things for all your Very Personal Ads! So glad for everyone doing this with me.

The Fluent Self