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Each week I write these VPAs to practice asking for what I want. And to get clarity on what that really is, even when asking feels conflicted.

I always get useful information about my relationship with various aspects of the ask. Join in if you like!

Oh boy! Very Personal Ads!

Some weeks this is the hardest thing that I practice, and other weeks I wake up each morning bouncy and full of wishes.

This was one of those. It feels good.

Thing 1: A perfect, simple solution.

Here’s what I want:

This is kind of vague (in fact, I feel the urge to call silent retreat!) but basically this:

I need the thing that is reconfiguring to reconfigure in a simple and ease-filled way.

Ways this could work:

Staying connected to the qualities and essence of the wanting, instead of trying to make it work in a particular way or take a certain shape.

Being receptive to new forms emerging in some sort of organic, sustainable, possibly unexpected way.

Remembering that buoyancy and grounding are not mutually exclusive.

Remembering the shivanautical epiphany about illumination through elimination: release the parts that are done.

I’ll play with…

Writing about it.

Thing 2: Clews for the Room of Mystery.

Here’s what I want:

At the Hidden Playground, we have a new room.

Well, it used to be the Toy Shop but we moved the Toy Shop to Stompopolis, so now there’s this room. And we’ve been calling it the Room of Mystery.

It’s kind of like the Room of Requirement, in that it gives you what you need.

So far people have taken some awesome naps in there, and various magical things have happened, but I would like to fill the room with clews.

That way, when people are clew-searching (or even when they aren’t), they can find signs and reminders all over the room.

Ways this could work:

Maybe people who read the blog can send us clews!

Clews can be tiny little things. Like a key or a ring or a message or a little hmmm-what-are-you sort of thing. A what-not! Yes.

If you have clews, please send them with a little “this is a clew!” note care of:

The Fluent Self, Inc
1526 NE Alberta #218
Portland, OR 97211
United States

Ohmygod. That would be amazing.

I’ll play with…

Looking for clews everywhere. And then collecting them.

Thing 3: Courage, again.

Here’s what I want:

I need to say a thing and I don’t know how to say it.

Words, please. And then the strength to do it.

Ways this could work:

It just could. May it be so.

I’ll play with…

Remembering that three weeks ago I had to do a thing way scarier than this, and I did it beautifully, thanks in part to these VPAs.

So it can happen. I can find the right way. It will be harmonious and it will be good.

Plus, ending something that is disharmonious is always healing, even when it’s hard. But maybe it doesn’t have to be hard. I’m going to learn more about that.

Thing 4: Progress on a seemingly impossible thing.

Here’s what I want:

I want this want so badly, and it seems so far-away and impossible.

I want to believe that it could happen. And I want to see clews and signs and reminders about progress and possibility.

May all the perfect simple solutions show up, and may I remember that sometimes things that seem impossible are actually completely possible, in ways I haven’t thought of yet.

Ways this could work:

Well, Shiva Nata, of course.

That’s the fastest way to undo whatever internal rules I have about How Things Are, so that I can start noticing all the things I didn’t know yet about how things could be.

And I can do an OOD to find out more about the different aspects of the wishing.

I’ll play with…

Legitimacy and permission to feel sad and frustrated about not knowing how this could work.

Planting the wish, and planting the permission to feel okay about wanting it.

Thing 5: Mini-chrysalis before Rally.

Here’s what I want:

Astoundingly, it’s about to be Rally (Rally!) again.

And I need a couple days off to clear my head and prepare for entry.

Ways this could work:

I’m receptive to something magically showing up.

I’ll play with…

Willingness. Talking to Incoming Me about it, and interviewing her.

Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.

Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.

Okay, this is amazing. The first thing I asked for was clear lines of communication, and specifically this:

“Actually, I just noticed that I’ve never liked the phrase “to clear the air”, because it makes me think of giant scary storms. But what I want is the rainstorm. Not a rough drenching. Just a sweet release, and then for the air to smell all earthy and beautiful again.”

And, astonishingly, that is EXACTLY what happened. I am in awe.

Then I wanted giant progress on Stompopolis, and it happened.

I needed readjusting in response to a difficult piece of news, and that worked too.

Next there was an ask about finding the right words, and I still haven’t, but am getting closer.

The ask about lusciousness is still in flux, but I’m learning a lot about how that works.

And I wanted a mini-chrysalis, and I still want that. Taking steps and wishing!

Play-filled comment zen. Here’s what I’d love today.

  • Wanted: Your own personal ads, small or large. Updates on past ones if you like.
  • You can also do these on your own or in your head. You can always call silent retreat!
  • Leave your gwishes! Throw things in the pot!
  • Things we try to keep away from: the word “manifest”, telling people how they should be asking for things, unsolicited advice.
  • VPA amnesty applies, of course. Leave yours any time between now and next Sunday (or whenever, really) — it’s all fine by us!


The Fluent Self