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Each week I write these VPAs to practice asking for what I want. And to get clarity on what that really is, even when asking feels conflicted.

I always get useful information about my relationship with various aspects of the ask. Join in if you like!

Yesterday I did five minutes of Shiva Nata with my primary partner in crime.

There was lots of giggling. And then Shiva Nata told us that SILLINESS IS POWER.

Which is fabulous. And also kind of scaring me because whoah, siliness!

I adore silliness. So I’m making a gwish right here for all of my wants for the coming week to be planted in a field of silliness and power. A silly field! So there!

Alright. Let’s do this.

Thing 1: setting up a rendezvous.

Here’s what I want:

I have an appointment that needs to be made. I don’t like appointments.

That’s why it’s a rendezvous. Sneaky! Romantic! Secret!

But my severe phone call dislike issues are coming up, and I haven’t been able to do it.

Ways this could work:

Oh man, this is going to require lots of secret agent code words!

And some now is not then.

Maybe I can do it online? Let’s find out.

Things I might play with…

Entry and exit.

Connecting to the superpowers.

Asking for help from a friend.

Thing 2: drink lots of tea!

Here’s what I want:

To drink ridiculous amounts of tea.

This might be a proxy and it might not.

My friend who is visiting brought about a thousand boxes of delicious teas (I am exaggerating but only very slightly), and this seems wintry and cozy and important.

Drinking tea all day reminds me of visiting my friend Jutta in Aachen around this time of year, before I ever lived in Germany. Eleven years ago! Oh, time. You are so funny!

I want the ritual of the making. I want the interruption of stopping. Paws! I want the taste and the reminders.

Some of the qualities of this wish:

Reassurance. Warmth. Entry. Exit. Presence. Spaciousness. Comfort. Repetition. Flow. Release. Feeling held and revitalised at the same time.

Ways this could work:

My partner-in-crime could continue to keep saying, Hey, would you like some tea?

(Something she already does every half hour or so…. yay!)

I can borrow a sweet teapot from Hoppy House and take it to the Playground while we do our trainings and reflectings.

Things I might play with…

Giving this practice a name or a metaphor.

Trusting that there is a reason for why tea is important right now, and just going with it instead of trying to figure out what it means.

Making a point of saying hello to my cheery red Playground mug.

Thing 3: two of everything!

Here’s what I want:

Some things need doubles.

Some of these things are tangible things and some of these are systems.

Ways this could work:

I could make a list.

Or bring it to Drunk Pirate Council.

Or maybe there is a fun and playful perfect simple solution.

Things I might play with…

My guess is there is some residual stuck stuff behind the scenes that has to do with being okay with enough. And resistance to a state of PLENTY.

So I might need to call on a negotiator. Or sit with some sad, scared parts of me.

Is there a way to bring in the power of silly to help?

I don’t know. But I commit to being willing to find out.

Thing 4: release/process fear of a thing.

Here’s what I want:

There’s something that needs to happen in my business. I want it and it scares me.

It’s time to (safely, carefully) find out about the resistance, and work through some more layers.

Ways this could work:

Through play.

Through stone skipping.

Through shivanautical epiphanies!

Things I might play with…

I’m going to try to follow my instincts as much as possible.

And to involve my body. Nap on it, dance on it, flail on it, cry on it, bathtime on it.

Thing 5: to trust what I know…

Here’s what I want:

To trust what I know.

As much as I am able to right now.

Ways this could work:

Asking curious and compassionate questions.

Noticing what I want, and giving myself permission to want what I want.

Regardless of whether or not I do anything about the wanting.

Things I might play with…

Small wantings.

Doing more old Turkish lady yoga to get quiet enough to be aware of what I am instinctively drawn to.

Talking to slightly future me about why trusting what I know is useful.

Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.

Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.

I wanted an ease-filled decision so I could create that proposal-thing. But then it got decided for me. Easily! So I didn’t have to. HOORAY.

Then I wanted an ease-filled transition, and that went better than I’d expected it to. A few thrown shoes, but they didn’t land.

I was feeling really apprehensive about getting the guest quarters ready for my friend, but it was actually not a problem at all.

Also I wanted to finish the mirror pool page so I could announce the Floating Playground. But what happened instead was a ton of internal processing. And then I wrote a very important letter to future me. And had about seventeen hugely important epiphanies about it.

So I will re-ask the ask for this week, but I’m feeling good about this instead of horrible about it, which is essentially what that ask was about anyway.

And finally, I wanted to tell you guys about Heidi’s amazing potions, and I did.

Play-filled comment zen. Here’s what I’d love today.

  • Wanted: Your own personal ads, small or large. Updates on past ones if you like.
  • You can also do these on your own or in your head. You can always call silent retreat!
  • Leave your gwishes! Throw things in the pot!
  • Things we try to keep away from: the word “manifest”, telling people how they should be asking for things, unsolicited advice.
  • VPA amnesty applies, of course. Leave yours any time between now and next Sunday (or whenever, really) — it’s all fine by us!


p.s. Calendars! Here’s what someone just said: “I’m totally in love with this calendar! So much I don’t want to hang it on the wall. I want to keep it right close to me on my desk so I can thumb through it whenever I need comfort and inspiration.”

You can still get one.

And you guys know prices for Rally (Rally!) have to go up significantly in a few days, right? I have been talking about this nonstop for about six months, so probably, but here is your reminder. Rally is the most amazing thing that will ever happen to you. Rally! (Rally!)

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