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Each week I write these VPAs to practice asking for what I want. And to get clarity on what that really is, even when asking feels conflicted.

I always get useful information about my relationship with various aspects of the ask. Join in if you like!

Two full years of doing these VPAs, as of today.

And no one is more surprised than me.

I’ve never missed a week, though sometimes I don’t get to it on Sunday! Couldn’t do it without knowing that you guys are reading. So thank you for helping me stay in the ritual and the practice, even when it’s hard.

Thing 1: systems help

Here’s what I want:

At the last Rally (Rally!), I had about ten billion amazing insights about business systems and related personal life system-ey stuff as well.

And then I hired Cairene to help me implement, and she has been incredible, as always. Cairene has also Rallied at the Rally so she gets it.

So now there are all these bits and pieces for me to do so that I can start USING these systems.

It hasn’t happened yet. And I’d like it to.

Ways this could work:

I could take a day or two off, hang out at the Playground and play with this in a creative, experimental, Rally-esque way.

Or maybe just planting the wish here will already do the work.

Also I can take it to Shiva Nata and ask the practice to show me what will help me say yes to the new forms and structures.

Or I can ask Slightly Future Me for advice.

My commitment.

To remember how important this is, find out where the resistance is, talk to monsters as necessary, and discover.

To keep trying things.

To forgive myself. If something isn’t working, that isn’t a sign that I’ve screwed up. It’s just information to take back to the lab.

Thing 2: a holiday before Rally starts

Here’s what I want:

So the July Rally (RALLY!!!! Can you tell how excited I am?) starts Monday, July 11 in the evening.

That’s basically in a week.

And I really want to be rested for it.

So I need to move some stuff around and make this holiday happen.

Ways this could work:

I can tell the GF that this is not optional and that I need help making it work.

My clients can be sweet and accommodating. Or I can just do sessions from the road but on the road I will be.

We can bring the Flip and shoot a bunch of Shiva Nata video while we’re gone.

My commitment.

To commit to this because I know in every cell of my body that it is vital.

I just wrote this and then I thought of a really good place to run away too. Yay.

Thing 3: releasing judgment

Here’s what I want:

About seven or eight years ago I started a practice of not lying. It was a yoga thing.

It was both way harder and way easier than I thought it would be. And it showed me a lot about the patterns beneath the patterns, if that makes sense.

Anyway, I love being mean. Funny-mean. It’s a part of me. And I don’t really plan to stop.

But I’ve noticed myself making snap judgments and jumping to conclusions.

So I want to start a practice — for this week, let’s start slow — of just noticing when I do that.

Not stopping myself. Not judging myself for doing it, because that would kind of defeat the purpose. But just saying, “Hey, I’m doing that thing. What do I really need right now?”

Ways this could work:

I’m going to put it here and see what happens.

I might use my journal or the Hello, Day ritual or the forum boards at my Kitchen Table program to help me with this one too.

My commitment.

To notice the patterns without thinking that they say anything terrible about me.

To recognize my stuff when it’s my stuff, and give it permission to exist.

To find the love and the pain and all of it and let it be what it is.

Thing 4: two weeks of special Shiva Nata posts!

Here’s what I want:

We had the Shiva Nata picnic call this week and it was so much fun. And now I’m crazy excited for the September Training aka the Shivanautical Academy of Hilarity and Play.

The early registration ends JULY FIFTEENTH which is in less than two weeks.

I have so many things I want to say, plus there are all sorts of great questions people had that didn’t get answered.

So can I write posts for the next two weeks? I’d like to!

Ways this could work:

I can take it to Shiva Nata and have it show me where the inspiration is and what needs to happen.

My commitment.

To write love letters.

To spread joy.

To dance dance dance like that’s all there is.

Progress report on past Very Personal Ads.

Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.

Let’s see.

I wanted companionship for parading, and while nothing has really moved with that, I feel so much better about the whole thing. So maybe what I wanted was just ease. And knowing that I’m not alone.

I know that now. So it’s good.

Then I wanted people for the Shiva Nata sneak snack picnic preview call and we had two hundred and twenty something, so that totally worked. Even though I didn’t do anything.

Thank you, everyone who joined us, and everyone who spread the word!

Also, you can still sign up even though it’s over, because that will get you an email with the recording as well as the transcript of our two hours in the Chattery (the chat room).

I also asked for help and support with a mini-brunching of a product, and while it hasn’t happened yet, I totally did get help and support. More coming!

And I wanted do-overs and got them in a very surprising way. Still shaking my head over that. A good week, all in all. Still learning how to do this.

Comment zen. Here’s what I’d love today.

Your own personal ads, small or large. Things you’ve asked for. Or are asking for. Or would like to ask for. Or updates on last time!

Stuff I’d rather not have:

The word “manifest”. To be told how I should be asking for things. To be judged, psychoanalyzed or given unsolicited advice.

Much love for your gwishes! So happy to have you doing this with me.

The Fluent Self