very personal adsPersonal ads! They’re … personal! Very.

So my itty bitty personal ads this week made me realize that it’s time to make a regular practice of trying to feel okay asking for stuff.

Of course it all started when I posted my first personal ad and asked my perfect house to find me, which it did and now I live in Hoppy House.

And yes, I still sing “We have Hoppy House!” to the tune of Iron Man. And no, that’s not embarrassing. Okay, maybe a little.

Anyway, I’m thinking maybe this will become my Sunday ritual.

Because did you read some of the comments from last Monday? Oh. My. God. The most beautiful and amazing stories and requests ever. Plus Andrew even started a ning group for them.

So, to be fair, I don’t quite know what that means either, but yet again I am completely in awe of the stuff that happens here.

Shall we?

Thing 1: More time in my Angel Refueling Station.

Here’s what I want:

Well, I guess what I want is reminders to help me spend more time there.

My Angel Refueling Station is my wonderful little meditation closet, where most of the wackiness you read about here tends to happen.

It owes its name to the fabulous Fabeku who likes to remind me that “even angels need refueling sometimes”.

And I don’t refuel often enough.

Right now I spend about 45 minutes there each morning when I get up. And I go there if something sets me off. If I’m feeling upset or hurt. But that’s pretty much it.

So I want things that will remind me to go there before I need it. Or just for a quick break. Or just because I can.

Ways these reminders could come to me:.

  • I could write little notes and hide them around the house.
  • My brother and my gentleman friend and my assistant could gently shoo me there in a loving, non-guiltified way.
  • Magic. Like … something could just remind me.
  • Any other possibility. I’m willing to be surprised.

My commitment.

I will not pressure myself to spend more time there than I have capacity for.

I always treasure the time I spend there.

I use this space as a way to work on having healthy boundaries in my life.

I will keep it neat and tidy and well-stocked with incense, pillows and whatever other incredibly hippie accoutrements make me happy when I’m there.

Thing 2: Fabulous success with my scary thing tomorrow!

Here’s what I want:

So I’m doing something I’ve never done before and offering something in my business in a way I’ve never done before. Not here on the site. Somewhere else. It’s a weird feeling.

Anyway, I want it to be like this:

For the energy around this to be clear and powerful.

I want to be able to separate the amazing thing I am putting out to the world from my own residual stuckified stuff around invisibility and smallification.

The Right People for this thing I’m offering will get that zap of yes, this is it. And the people who are not the Right People yet (or at all) won’t have to interact with it.

The entire thing will be a sensational success that will knock me over with how great it is and I will wonder why I ever doubted that it was anything other than a genius thing to do.

Here’s how I want it to happen:

Everyone who is ready for the braintastic magic that is Shiva Nata will feel the sweet buzzing this-is-me this-is-me and will be drawn to the things that it can give them.

It will find them. And they will find it. By email forwarding. By an eye focusing on the right part of a page. By a pull. By a tug. By passion. By love. By coincidence. By right timing.

Ways this could work:

I’m pretty much open to anything.

My commitment.

I will acknowledge that yeah, this is me doing something that is new and potentially hard, and treat myself in a really caring, considerate way because this is a big deal for me.

I will give myself credit for taking the time to work on my stuff around this and shift some of the stuck.

I will say thank you for each good thing that comes out of this experience, and I will take anything that is hard straight to the Angel Refueling Station.

Thing 3: Help for Chris.

Here’s the situation:

Actually, I don’t know exactly what the situation is.

But Chris is supposed to be on his way to Saudi Arabia because his plane flies home from there, but there were complications with visas and passports and misunderstandings and bureaucratic ridiculousness.

So what I’m requesting for Chris is some kind of happy resolution.

I don’t know what it is, but I want stuff to work out for him in some way.

Ways this could happen:

  • Something could turn up.
  • He could get a reasonable flight from somewhere else to where he needs to go.
  • Kind, understanding, accommodating people could show up in his life, at the airports, at the Embassies.
  • Something else that I can’t think of that ends up being the perfect — or at least a feasible — solution to his conundrum.
  • I’m also wishing for some kind of neat silver lining thing to come out of this experience.

My commitment.

I am going to wish really good things for Chris.

And I am going to ask you guys to wish really good things for Chris.

And hope that he has a safe, healthy, happy rest-of-trip and comes back to Portland with some great stories.

Thing 4: The Snake Charmers should totally win Best Blues Band in Houston!

Here’s what I want:

The Snake Charmers is a super rocking blues band. Their album is one of my favorites (I give it to everybody and listen to it almost every day).

I got to meet Marie (the singer) in Austin and she’s just as amazing in person as she is on Twitter.

And I happen to know that, despite being a totally sexy rock star, she is way too shy to ask for stuff.

Also, she has a thing about thinking that asking for what you want is like “shameless self-promotion”, which as we all know is a thing whose existence I have issues with.

Here’s what I want to happen:

I want every single person who reads this blog to go to where there is a very thorough explanation of how to vote.

And I want Marie to really get what a terrific thing this is. Already in the top five possibilities in a city (Houston) that is full of great blues bands?

Because they’re that good. And I would love it if she realized that yeah, she’s a star and her music brings joy and meaning to our lives.

So there.

You can vote for The Snake Charmers (they’re #23) for the Houston Press Music Awards until July 26. You don’t have to live in Houston. Click the “no thanks” boxes and you won’t get mail from anyone.

Progress report on past Very Personal Ads and what’s going on with them.

Just to update you on what’s happened since last time.

I still don’t have my hangers. But for some reason I’m not worried about it. They’ll come.

And I know where I’m taking my bag of clothing! It just came to me.

There’s a “take what you want”-style free-box at the local anarchist collective.

Which is exactly the kind of place where I used to take stuff (and get stuff) when I lived in Berlin. In fact, just thinking of it makes me picture Angie and her Italian girlfriend wearing my Harley shirts.

I have to walk by there next week anyway. So that’s where it’s going.

Thanks for all your beautiful ideas and suggestions. Really, really appreciated!

Comments. Since I’m already asking …

I am adding to my practice of asking for stuff by being more specific about I would like to receive in the comments. And that way, if you feel like leaving one (you totally don’t have to), you get to be part of this experiment too. ๐Ÿ™‚

Here’s what I want:

  • Your own personal ads, small or large. Things you’ve asked for. Or are asking for. Or would like to ask for.
  • Thoughts or ideas about ways any of the personal ads listed here could come true.

What I would rather not have:

  • Reality theories.
  • Shoulds. As in, “You should be doing it like this” or “That’s not the right way to ask for things — instead it should be like x, y and z”
  • To be judged or psychoanalyzed.

My commitment.

I am committed to giving time and thought to the things that people say, and I will interact with their ideas and with my own stuff as compassionately and honestly as is possible for me.

Even though asking for what I want out loud (or in pixels) is challenging for me, I’m committing to this just-trying-it thing and I’m meeting myself where I am.

That’s it! Thanks for doing this with me. You guys rock.

p.s. I promised Claire I’d write about how I went about asking for doctors, and I promised someone else I’d write about some of the elements of a powerful ask, so I’ll do that too. Soon.

The Fluent Self