At the fabulous Week of Biggification in Asheville, we asked a lot of questions.

And we asked them after doing hilariously brain-meltingly impossible rounds of Shiva Nata, so that we were in a state of complete and utter mind scramble.

Catching ourselves in that moment of chaos-meets-order while the new connections are still being made.

I call this stone skipping.

You drop the question and it ripples out into places you haven’t been.

And you find out what you know about what you didn’t know.

You can also do this without being a shivanaut. Your answers might be slightly less trippy but the unscrambled brain still knows a lot about a lot.

Some of what I got, directly from my journal …

1. What’s missing?

Uh, aside from a lesson plan? And the ability to connect to what I need? And relief from my throbbing head?


But it’s more than that.


If I can be curious about how I am when I’m sick …

Instead of being in the whyyyyyy of why am I sick.

If I can be curious about how I care for myself instead of why I feel so bad …

This brings me back to my power.

And when I am in my power, it does not matter that I am sick.

I mean, it doesn’t help me in the moment necessarily. But it gives me freedom.

It gives me a buffer.

So instead of trying to radiate power, which sometimes I can and sometimes I can’t…

I need to activate this quality of CURIOSITY.

2. What am I here to do?

Create passages.

Document passages.

Walk through passages.

Establish culture.

This is very different than that yoga-teacher-ey phrase “holding the space” — though I actually know what that means now.

I am here to let them teach and learn, to be in my boundaries, to be the shining clear light, to play and laugh.

I am here to withdraw. Seclusion without isolation. I am here to study culture. I am here to recognize why.

What does that mean?

I am here to “recognize why”? Huh? What is that supposed to mean?

It’s pattern-mapping and pattern-tracking.

It’s truth-sourcing.

It’s locating what is the cause.

Okay. I still don’t know what I think about that.

Think Herodotus. Be interested in the cause behind the cause.

3. What is true?

That some things do take time, but not every process needs a lot of time. That I am ready.

That I have the resources I need. That there IS something useful about this illness, and I can figure out what it is.

And I can challenge them to figure out what to do to make this voyage a voyage.

What makes a voyage a voyage?


Yes. Show them that.

4. What do I know about transitions?

They can gradually happen with more ease. I am done with the rough passages.

It is safe for me to cross these crossings. Anything else?

This is a fairly big one right now so be easy on yourself.

Stay in the curiosity.
That’s where your power is.

Oh? Am I talking to myself in a variety of tenses now? Yes, yes, you are.

5. What do I know?

About possibility.

——–> Possibility can still be stable.

The way that a chair is composed of particles. Yes.

There are always more options than I think there are.

I can’t choose wrong. It’s impossible.

Because once I see beyond the either this or either that, there is a wealth of possibility. And each one is its own world. And each of those worlds is good.

As long as my choice is a conscious one and not choice-through-limitation… I can go where I like.

So where would I like to go?

To the treasure.


So then we asked “where is the treasure?”

And we asked it every single day, which was kind of awesome.

Of course there were many more questions and many more answers, some of which I can share with you if you’re interested.

But the main thing is: play!

Do any of these questions appeal to you? Or scare you? Or something?

If you’d like to answer one or two of them (or as many as you like) and see what comes up, that would be fun.

You can share or not share. It’s all fine by me.

You can call “Silent Retreat!” and go hide. You can think about other questions or other answers.

You can do whatever you like. And here’s the comment zen for today.

We all have our stuff. We’re all working on our stuff.

We play. We’re curious. We meet people where they are. We don’t give unsolicited advice. We have been known to wear silly hats.

That is all.

Kisses to the commenter mice, the Beloved Lurkers and everyone who reads!

The Fluent Self