I’ve been projectizing like crazy at the Rally (Rally!) … and then I got myself into a plonter and had to untangle a bit.
(Also, really? The last time I said plonter here – August 2007? That can’t be right.)
Here’s what happened.
Asking the version of me who has finished this part:
Me: Okay. I have to say, this project-like-thing already feels like the biggest headache and I haven’t even started. Help?
Slightly Future Me: Aw, sweetie. Have some water. You’ll feel better.
Slightly Future Me: Listen, it feels like a headache because your body is remembering last year’s headache. It’s like the bully thing. You’re seeing the shadow and not the thing itself.
Me: Oh, right. Now is not then.
Finding what is different.
Slightly Future Me: It won’t be a headache this time. Last year at this time you were reacting. You were in reactive mode and just responding to headaches. It was headaches generating headaches.
The time of putting out fires.
And that’s not where you are now. What you want, how you want it, the way you approach finding out what needs to happen. It’s all different.
Me: That feels better. Okay. Present time. Separating from then. Breathing. And then I’ll just VPA the hell out of things.
Finding out what you want.
Slightly Future Me: Yes. What do you wish for?
Me: Ease. Creativity. Spaciousness. Silliness. To have forms and structures that can hold themselves.
Slightly Future Me: Right on.
Me: So what do I do now?
Slightly Future Me: Oh come on. You know that.
Setting up Y to work on Z.
Me: Oh, right. Dominoes! I’m setting the following intentions:
- That everything I do to bring ease and creativity into my life will have a direct effect on Z.
- That everything (Y) I end up doing for Z will bring more ease and creativity into everything else we’re working on.
- That this new way will get easier and more comfortable until it is the only way to do things.
- That I will keep talking to these projects and finding out how we can be better friends.
Going to do that now.
Talking to what you want.
Me: Hey project of X! What do you wish I knew?
P of X: YAWNS LUXURIOUSLY
Me: yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn. Hey.
P of X: yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn.
Me: Wow. That felt really good.
P of X: I know! You’re all stressed out about this and then you’re trying to invoke ease while you’re stressed out. And it’s not working. Obviously.
Me: That makes sense.
P of X: You know what you need? You need the giant ALL ABOARD sign.
P of X: Here’s what you do with this. You set a date. You call all aboard. That’s it.
P of X: YAWNS AGAIN.
Me: Really? That simple?
P of X: Of course. All the right things are that simple.
Me: But I thought it would need twenty-seven steps and to lay them all out. That’s why I’m projectizing this nightmare of a thing. Because it’s so complex. I thought we needed a new and elaborate system.
P of X: *giggles* No, it needs a simple system. Here it is. ALL ABOARD. Tell them once. That’s it. You could do it like A or like B or like C. It doesn’t really matter. The point is, one option.
Me: That’s helpful.
And the third thing.
Slightly Future Me: That was great.
Me: Okay, so I feel better. But it’s still a lot to handle.
Slightly Future Me: Well, you’re doing great. Can I tell you the third thing?
Me: There’s a third thing? I don’t even know what the first two were.
Slightly Future Me: We established that 1) things are different and it’s important to separate from what was, and 2) this can happen with EASE.
Here’s the third thing. It can be playful. You can have play.
Me: I can?
Slightly Future Me: Yes.
Slightly Future Me: However you want. With contests. With crayons and colored markers. With whatever kooky innovative ideas that you get from Shiva Nata.
Me: I have no idea what you’re talking about.
Slightly Future Me: It doesn’t matter. The point is that what you want can happen with in a playful, beautiful way. I promise. And the new version of this thing you’re creating through playing will be light and solid at the same time. And people will play there and wear purple wigs. On occasion.
Say the word.
Me: That was pretty specific. Are you wearing a purple wig right now?
Slightly Future Me: It is quite possible, yes. But whatever you’re imagining, it does not live up to how completely ridiculous I look. You kind of interrupted me in the middle of some pretty intense hilarity.
Me: Oh. Sorry about that.
Slightly Future Me: Not at all. I’m always here for you when you need stuff. Just say the word.
Me: Wait, there’s a word?
Slightly Future Me: No. Do you want a word?
Slightly Future Me: Catnap! Catnip! Catnoooooooooooop.
Me: Okay. Fine. Never mind. I’ll just call or whatever.
And comment zen in the comment blanket fort today.
The usual. We all have our stuff. We’re all working on our stuff. It’s a process.
The way we respectfully let people here have their own experience is this: we are curious and patient, we try to not jump to conclusions, and we don’t give each other unsolicited advice.
Playing is welcome. If you want to talk to a slightly future you or to your project or to have a yawn-fest with me, go for it.
And if you have ideas for things to do with purple wigs, I’ll take them.
I read that as purple wings at first. But I guess wigs works, too. I still want wings though.
I would be interested to learn more about the dominoes. Like, how does that actually work? Or do you just set the intention and then it happens?
I do wish I was at the rally (rally!). Have some fun on me please. ^__^
.-= Willie Hewes´s last post … Hurry Up Monster and The Scaries =-.
I am looking at the three suggestions Slightly Future You had to offer, and lining them up next to my dissertation proposal.
1. Things are different, and it’s important to separate from what was. — Yep. In fact, I’ve recently begun to realize how much I’ve been overlooking the differences, and just assuming sameness where it doesn’t exist.
2. This can happen with EASE. — Well, yeah. I want to believe this. And why not? It’s a paper. I like writing papers. I like writing.
3. It can be playful. You can have play. — Okay, and here’s what excites me about this point: that I can set things up to be deliberately, consciously, mindfully playful when I’m doing this project. I can be playful every freaking time I approach it, if I want to be. Why not? And what if the two things I think I know about this whole dissertation thing — that it’s hard, and that there’s no time no time no time — are the two things that I’m most mistaken about?
P.S. I’m eager to learn more about dominos, because I have a hunch that they’ll be super helpful and fun.
P.P.S. Now I kind of want to dye my hair purple for Halloween.
.-= Kathleen Avins´s last post … RE-re-invention =-.
such perfect timing for me to read this post.
I’m feeling very stuckified about some music I’m trying to write for meditation audios. I know this can happen with ease, I just need to allow it to…
so I need to shift gears and be able to play with this more rather then feeling a need to produce.
and I just remembered that I have the Dance of Shiva DVD sitting here that I’ve had for like 8 months and haven’t touched…. so I think I’m going to go touch it and see what happens. 😉
.-= Andy Dolph´s last post … Down the Rabbit Hole with Abby Kerr =-.
Yay! I totally read wings at first too 😀 I say we all don purple wigs and wings, and bounce about singing “Catnoooooop” while blowing bubbles!
I am reminded that speaking to my slightly future self could be a good thing at this Time of Immense and Crazy Changing that I seem to have initiated… the “eek!” has been rearing it’s anxious head with vehement force lately, and could use a bit of reassuring…
*bounces off to find a wig and some wings!
.-= Heidi´s last post … Fall is here- and change is in the air! =-.
.-= Andrew Lightheart´s last post … Coming back to opening =-.
Yay for purple wigs (and wings!). As it happens, this weekend I purchased an utterly fabulous purple fuzzy hat at the state fair. And I’ve taken to wearing it while I work on answering journal prompts about what my ideal life would be like. Apparently my ideal life includes a purple fuzzy hat.
Also, another vote for more information on Dominoes, pretty please.
I think that purple wigs are the perfect attire for a dance party in your kitchen. Because nothing beats a dance party in the kitchen. But that’s just my thing, we all have our own.
Back to my point, though. I am a big, huge projectizer. I’m not sure it’s helpful. I think maybe that I need to learn ease. It sounds like a good lesson to learn. Maybe even – dare I say it? – an EASY lesson to learn. And who doesn’t like easy? Especially when you’re wearing a purple wig.
.-= Amber´s last post … Mission- Local Flour =-.
Omigod, catnop is an awesome word. *yoinks*
Oh yea. And after much freaking out and worrying of monies not here yet… *YAAAAAAAAAAWN*
Kathleen – You put this post into the words I needed to hear today. Thank you.
Havi – Thank you for creating this community and for inspiring all kinds of de-stuckification in my life. I bet your future self totally rocks the purple wig. I’m imagining Selma joining in the festivities with a rainbow wig.