So I was on Official Non-Emergency Pirate Queen Holiday last week.

And shared some of my journalings from the Official Pirate Queen Vacation Spiral Notebook.

Today: more bits of potential usefulness — related to my business (running the pirate ship), but definitely stuff you can apply to non-business-related stuff too.

It’s pretty unedited and unfiltered, so I hope it makes sense. Also some most of it might be kind of weird.

What am I wrong about?

Okay, so moments of deep spiritual understanding tend to be about how we know nothing. That we are wrong about everything.

That everything we have thought and believed up until this moment is false.

Or not necessarily false, but incomplete.

Viewed through the wrong filter. The wrong color lens. We have misinterpreted. Everything.

It’s that shivanautical moment* when the matrix comes apart. Everything is reduced to its pieces and then the pieces become the new form. Yay, Socrates, etc.

* The point of understanding. All disagreements reveal themselves to be misunderstandings. You realize that everything is connected. And you can’t even put words to any of this because these realizations aren’t meant to be heard with your ears.

Where am I going with this?


What if we took this as the standard hypothesis when working on anything stuckified? What if this became the automatic starting point?

Assuming that everything I know is false ….

Assuming that, for example, the idea that I have to work all the time is false …

Assuming that the way I’m going about things isn’t necessarily helpful …

If we change the filter, the lens, the approach, the reflections … what do I get?

What am I wrong about?

Starting here. Assume Tim is (possibly accidentally) right, and I could get by on only four hours of work a week.

What would that look like?

I don’t know. Okay, pretend it had to happen and I have no choice. What goes? What has to move?

1) We turn down everything.

Seriously. Everything.

And I get a blank permission slip to say a firm, gracious no to anything that comes my way.

2) The journal feeds the blog.

Instead of writing posts, I turn my journaling into posts. Which is something that happens occasionally anyway.

So the good and the hard turn into Chickens. The wishes become Very Personal Ads. Challenges become Inowanna Iguanas and the word-play turns into Metaphor Mouse adventures.

Daily writing does double duty, and we skip the Occasional Posts of How-to-ishness for a while.

3) Cut down project, products and programs to the essentials.

This will require considerable help from Cairene.

Many things will need to change shape. And a lot of work will need to be done in advance.

But it’s not impossible.

And is actually kind of a useful thing to do.

Deconstruction for new creation. Patterns into pieces.

If we have a year to plan, it’s do-able. Maybe even six months.

4) Change your presence

More essence of you and less actual you.

Teach by modeling what you do instead of explaining what you do.

Be a super secret spy. But let everyone in on what being a super secret spy actually means.

And what does four hours even look like?

I have no idea. So let’s try to break it down.

If Monday through Thursday each included sixty minutes of Patchworking (the Game that is still waiting on the right name), could that work? What if there were one day of work?

But it wasn’t called “work”?

Because what I really care about is rest and play. And the creation that happens when they meet up.

Hmmm. I’d have to document it.

I see some possible starting points, though.

Again, if I’m wrong about everything, what is true?

My immediate presence is not as vital as I think it is. Not even slightly.

But my essence is more vital than I think it is.

This is the unexpected truth about invisibility.

The machine runs without you but it runs because of you.

What needs to be visible: personal experience. What can remain invisible: the mechanics.

And sometimes this is reversed.

What do I know?

Everything I’ve cut out of my life so far has only made my world better.

Like dumping the Dreaded Noozletter. And giving up on email. Like letting most of my staff go. Like replacing “meetings” with Drunk Pirate Council.

So. What’s next?

Interesting how much that question both excites and terrifies me.

Alright. Here’s what I’m not cutting out.

The blog. I love having this space to write and interact and mess around.

It’s my own personal playground.

Right. The Playground. That stays too. I love having a creative space to teach in.

And the Kitchen Table. It really, truly is the best thing ever.

Also my extremely exclusive, mostly secret Mindful Biggification program. Because the stuff that happens there is extraordinary.

So if the elements remain, what needs to change is how they all fit together.

And that’s what I need Shiva Nata for: to take apart the matrix so that I can see what the possibilities are.

To get down to the elements again.

And here’s what I know so far about what I don’t want:

I don’t want groups of certified Fluent Self coaches — an army of little Havi-clones. Absolutely not.

But I would like other people teaching my techniques.

I don’t want to run communities. But I want to infuse them with goodness and hilarity. I want to participate in them. And to establish a culture of warmth and kookiness.

I don’t want to be the shepherd. But I want to dance the patterns.

I don’t want to be the boundaries. But I want to be a force who inspires their existence.

I don’t want to be the door. But I want all doors to open when I pass through.

Here’s what I’m currently finding challenging.

Not having anyone to emulate.

At most points in the life of my business, I’ve had someone else’s model as a guide.

Even if not an exact one. A general direction.

Like, “I want to build something sort of like so-and-so’s thing but more X and less Y.”

And now there isn’t anyone who fits that description.

The only ship I have to follow is my own.

That’s it for now.

Well, I have more notes but they make even less sense that what’s already here. I know.

But maybe some of these will trigger something useful/interesting for you.

And maybe the hopefulness of possibility will feel liberating rather than terrifying, though god knows sometimes those things go together.

And comment zen for today.

We all have our stuff. We’re all working on our stuff. We let everyone have their own process and we don’t give each other advice (unless someone asks for it).

If any part of my processing-my-own-stuff accidentally stepped on your stuff, I sincerely apologize. That sucks. And it wasn’t my intention.

You’re absolutely welcome to share things you’re working on or currently figuring out (does not even slightly have to be related to the stuff I’m working on) or whatever else is coming up for you.

Hugs for the hard. And excitement for everyone’s projects and dreams.

The Fluent Self