My giant Gwish (goal/wish) right now is to go to Denver for roller derby Championships in November and teach there.

I’m going to need your help, but first I have to figure out what I want so that I can ask for it.

And to do that, I’m using the OOD (Object of Desire) technique. Let’s do this.

State the OOD.

I want to have a marvelous time in Denver at Championships, stay in a lovely and supportive place, and teach the most badass awesome Shiva Nata class that ever was.

And for everything to get set up in the smoothest and easiest way possible, with lots of support.

Is that what I really want?

Yeah! And I notice that I used the word support twice. So that seems like it’s a really important component.

This whole experience is going to be very challenging (travel! not a lot of time! giant crowds! high pressure!) for a Highly Sensitive Person like myself.

So if it’s going to happen, it’s imperative that it happens in such a way that I feel comfortable, grounded and taken care of every step of the way.


Play. Comfort. Support. Radiance. Light-heartedness. Ease. Experimentation. Inspiration. Creativity. Belonging. Welcoming. Harmoniousness. Flow. Excitement. Anticipation. Happiness. Sanctuary. Grounding. Sovereignty. Trust. Silliness.

Why I want this.

This is our year!!!!

There is no way I’m missing Championships the first year that Rose City has made it all the way. We’re going to sweep this thing. Or, at the very least, we’ll duke it out for third place.

I need to be a part of this. And Shiva Nata needs to be a part of this.

If the only thing that a roller-derby-shivanauttery class delivers is ONE hit that sticks or ONE block at the right time or ONE juke or jump that gets our jammer ahead, that’s the difference between win or lose.

And really, only one thing?! Preposterous. The results are drastic and dramatic when you can see them in a physical practice.

This is the next step. We’re planting seeds for the day when no athlete anywhere does anything without doing Shiva Nata first. And I’ll know exactly when it started.


Needed! A hotel in Denver or Boulder, preferably Denver.

It needs to be relatively quiet. Or at least my room does.

Here are the Absolutely Absolutelies, aka the dealbreaker bits:

  1. It absolutely absolutely has to have complimentary wifi. Emphasis on the wireless part.
  2. I am not okay with having to pay for parking. The hotel needs to provide parking at no charge. It’s annoying enough that I have to rent a car…

Living in cities (Portland, Berlin, Tel Aviv) where you can take public transportation everywhere has made me extremely antsy and impatient. What is this crap where I can’t just take a bus to get where I need to go?!?!

Budget? I’m not sure. I would like to not go higher than $165 a night.

Bonus: if I can get a good massage in the hotel or nearby.

Needed! A teaching space for the madcap shivanauttery.

We need a space that can hold 50-60 people.

And each person will need about 5×6 feet of space.

Plus room for me and the stage.

The Absolutely Absolutelies:

  1. It absolutely absolutely has to have a stage for me so that people can actually see me. The stage needs to be at least 2 feet high.
  2. I do not want to rent a stage/riser. We’ve done this before and it’s a gigantic pain.
  3. It needs to be quiet enough so I can speak and people can hear me. There cannot be an African Drumming class or a disastrous trumpet lesson happening next door. Yes, both of those things have actually happened.
  4. I need to be able to play music. I can bring my own system if necessary but would rather not have to.
  5. The space needs to be relatively visually quiet. So: not covered in giant chaotic murals or anything like that. .

Helpful but not dealbreakers:
it’s pretty much always useful to have a flip chart.

Tizmun (messing about with timing)

Tizmuni is a Hebrew word which has elements of timing, arranging, schedule, itineraries and so on, but doesn’t actually terrify me.

Okay! Obviously we can’t teach over the weekend because that’s when the bouts are. Especially since we won’t know what the brackets will be until after the South Central & North Central regions have their playoffs.

It makes no sense to do it Sunday evening or Monday because a) that kind of defeats the point, and b) I will have completely lost my voice due to three straight days of yelling.

It really has to happen Thursday evening. It could maybe-maybe happen Friday morning, but that is distinctly less good.

I might need to talk to H and find out when people are flying in and arriving.

But say Thursday from 5-6:30 pm. Or 5:30-7. We really can’t do it later than that.

So if we open this to people who aren’t skaters, they’ll have to get off work early.

Fly out Wednesday, teach Thursday, derby over the weekend and done?


Renting a space without knowing that you can fill it = stupid.

But renting a space that can only accommodate 20 when we already know there’s a much bigger interest is also stupid.

There’s not a lot of time to set this up.

What will help

Starting small.

Finding ways to make this less stressful. Specifically asking: What would make this easier?

Using the fractal flowers so that doing this solves other problems, and working on other parts of my business help with this too.

Slightly future me says…

Slightly future me: You don’t need my help. You know how to do this.

Me: WHAT?!

Her: Make sure the wisest version of current you is at the front of the V. Find out what she thinks. You really don’t need me for this.

Me: So you’re telling me to consult with Slightly Wiser Me From Now instead of asking you?

Her: Yup! That’s because you’re ready for this. You’ve jumped a level, or whatever you want to call it.

Slightly wiser me says…

“Listen, sweetie. You know all kinds of amazing people in Colorado. They’ll all want to see you and have tea/dinner/etc, and you’ll really want to see them too.

“Please remember that you are here on a mission.

“And this mission requires you to be at full strength/capacity. Your force field needs to be extra strong: the most shining radiant force field you know how to configure.

“You won’t be able to do that if you’re putting your energy to staying grounded and centered for these meet-ups and teaching and derby. You will stretch yourself too thin, and get depleted and sick, which messes up the Great Ducking Out.

“You need to preserve your time, space and energy to give yourself the most supportive environment for this experience. You owe this to yourself, your friends, your students and the entire experience. And you owe it to the Wheels of Justice. So commit to this.”

Allies, resources and helper mice! Who can help me with this?

I can ask my blog readers and the Kitchen Table program if they have ideas (or know people who have ideas) about a possible right hotel and/or teaching space.

My Guns N Rollers, of course. My friend Tootie who’s a ref in Denver. Juno, who skates for Rocky Mountain and is awesome and was at Rally (Rally!) with me.

And of course I can use destuckification, stone skippings, and talking to slightly wiser me some more. Checking in to make sure I’m asking the right questions.

I don’t have to do this alone. Support is the key to all of this.

Receiving support, figuring out how to be okay with support, making conscious, loving decisions that support (hee!) a supportive environment. That’s what’s next.

Comment zen in the comment blanket fort for today…

Help and more suggestions for accommodations and teaching spaces appreciated!

You can also bring your own Object of Desire and play with it here, using this format or any other format.

I would also love cheering for this big adventure. Thank you!

Love, as always, to the commenter mice, the Beloved Lurkers and everyone who reads.

The Fluent Self