very personal ads

I write a Very Personal Ad (or a vision of possibility & anticipation) each week to practice wanting, listening, getting clear on my desires

the point isn’t getting my wish (though cool things have emerged from wishing), it’s learning about my relationship with wanting, accessing the qualities

wanting can be hard, it is easy to feel conflicted about it, and the reasons for that make this a surprisingly subversive practice…

this is the 372nd week of wishing, come play!


my theme right now is inventory
in both literal and theoretical ways

what do I want in my space
what do I know about what’s in my space
what do I want to invite in or ask to leave
aka which doors need to open or close or disappear

this is a very immediate wish

I bought a one-way ticket to Boise, Idaho
leaving in a week
with not much of a plan other than to
a) not be here
b) not stay there

I have been promised hot springs
there may be a road trip to Kentucky
adventures will be adventured:
operation wild freedom under the stars

so I need to know what I have
to know what I might bring

this wish is external/internal

because I need to
provision myself for every possible kind of weather,
— ha, yes, weather could be external and internal too —
being very selective in my choices;
it all has to come with me on a plane

but there’s also the question of
what do I have — and want to have
in my mental/emotional/energy space
what circulates within me
what is the environment of my relationships
what is the environment of my thoughts

and again: that question about what needs to exit
can I show it the door


so, in that sense, this is a very conceptual wish
in addition to the part about
oh shit how do I pack for three months or more on the road
when I don’t know where I’m going
in every possible meaning of that
and I don’t even know what I have
because my stuff has been in boxes since january

what else about inventory

turning forty this year is a form of taking inventory
looking at my business legacy and what I want to leave
this is inventory

the question of [what is the water I swim in]
what do I surround myself with
not just in terms of objects and people
but ideas, concepts,
what is my normal
what is my edge

what is here

I want to always know exactly what I have
so I can want what I have
(more than want even, can I appreciate-celebrate what I have)
and let go of all the not-yeses

clear eyes clear heart
taking stock:
really, what is here
and do I even want it

I am talking about my belongings,
aka the contents of my basement room of boxes, but really I mean
all the symbolic, metaphorical and energy reverberations of these questions

what else?

time for newness in all things
I can feel this

what else?

I want to live on a houseboat
this is a proxy but also not a proxy
maybe this is related to the dream of the round house
which still calls to me

I want to find, meet, or reveal my just-right door
and build my home around that door
which only I can see

I want my space to glow and be invisible
refracting light like rainbows off a prism
there are no doors for people to knock at
because I do not have any

and maybe I have wished this before in another form

what do I know about my wishes?

I am ready for this mission of [Inventory]
before was not the time, even yesterday was not the time,
because now is the time
and trusting this was right

may it be so!

the superpower of deep listening


August is MUSE, with the superpower of Deep Listening, and I just walked past a bar called Muse, oh it has been so good for me to listen deeply, now I hear something like footsteps, it must be the month of INTENTION coming to meet me…

thank you, past-me, for being such a good namer and calling this into being

last week’s wishes

last-week-me wished a wish called what do I want to circulate
and this wish is a continuation of that
a new examining of what is in my space

thank you, me who wished

invitation: come play with me…

you are invited to share this post and to share many !!!!!! about what is here,
or share appreciation or anything sparked for you while reading, including any stories you wish to let go of, any adventures you wish to welcome

deposit wishes, gwishes, superpowers, qualities, ingredients, intel, possibly in code

safe space for creative exploration asks us to let go of care-taking and advice-giving

wishes are never late because whenever you wish is the right time for wishing

here’s how we meet each other’s wishes: oh, wow what beautiful wishes

The Fluent Self