Twelve days

Hi sweet friends,
I am taking twelve days to
learn what I want from this new incoming year

To listen-explore-play and call in (hear the call of!) my word for the year,
to receive a compass of qualities to guide me,
and make space for any wishes, projects or visions for the year
to reveal themselves,
and meet the Incoming Me who knows what to do with all this new intel!

A shape/form, and what it looks like

December 18-29

This time period covers hannukah, solstice and christmas,
and I’m letting these three points-of-light on the calendar
form a constellation, take shape and meaning
each star-point glowing qualities that can be beacons:
Dedication / Illumination / Mystery


This is how I want to passage towards the new year,
with intention, curiosity, receptivity,
and whatever else is needed,
breathing into my heart

Calling in qualities like sparks of light,
surrounding myself with them,
glowing them inward and outward,
dedicating myself to illuminating the mysteries,
and my relationship with these qualities


Taking a moment to connect these dots,
illuminate the connection points:

dedicated to illuminating the mysteries,
dedicated to the mysteries of illumination,
illuminating my dedication to these mysteries,
illuminating my mysterious dedication,
the mystery of how to illuminate dedication,
the Mystery in my dedication illuminated

First spark: DEDICATION

Hannukah literally means Dedication, and I am dedicating myself to
this intentional time, dedicating myself to
my relationship with myself

Dedicating myself to drawing inward
— in yoga we call this pratyahara: withdrawal of senses,
to receive clarity on important things like
who I am, what I need, how to best care for myself,
and this is a form of contemplation and self-study, svadhyayaya.

Hannukah is also about Reclaiming (space and time and holiness!),
it is about restoring what needs to be restored,
which means I am also rededicating myself to boundaries and
all related practices of Crown On.

And, Hannukah is about Courage and Justice, not to mention
Surprise Last Minute Miracles and Celebrating Light, and
oh wow do I ever need all of this right now

Second spark: ILLUMINATION.

Winter solstice, at least here in this hemisphere
is the door of [hello, darkest moment] and [trust that ease is coming] and
[this is the turning point, we made it, transition time, more light!]

It is the day I dedicate myself to the transformative question of
what needs to be eliminated and what needs to be illuminated?

For me, right now, Illumination is about revealing the light that already is,
glowing towards clarity, easing into releasing

For me, right now, Illumination is full and wild, lighting up everything,
I whisper “illuminate”, and suddenly I am back beneath that
wild magnificence of Idaho sky at midnight,
a vastness of stars

Third spark: MYSTERY

I don’t celebrate Christmas, but, much like American Thanksgiving,
it is a time when I often feel intensely lonely and disconnected,
craving [love, community, companionship] as well as
needing some sort of mysterious project to keep me
present and engaged
while the world around me is
doing its thing that I am not a part of

When I still had the retreat center, we’d sometimes host a last-minute x-mas hide-out,
always the coziest best thing ever, and we called this event X Marks The Spot

X is a treasure map and X is kisses and X stands for all the mysteries,
and solving for X is also a way to
celebrate Mystery, in the sense of
Awe and Wonder, Treasure and Delight

I am HERE FOR THIS, and also I have lots of mysteries in my life right now, so: perfect timing

What these twelve days will look like.

I’m going to skip stones (journal on questions),
channel a compass (this is magic)
play with capers (this is my word for exercises, because exercise stresses me out),
and meet Incoming Me
aka the-me-who-has-already-embodied-these-qualities
and find out what this version of me knows and wants to share with me!

And I’m going to breathe-breathe-breathe
and light candles and take exquisite care of myself

I am going to welcome the new year and also release,
with sweetness and presence and grace
— though possibly also with some smashing,
what was and has been,

And I don’t know what else is going to happen
because it is a beautiful mystery!

Also I have a lot of mysteries that currently need my attention, haha, so many mysteries, and mystery is a word I like better than “challenge” or “problem”, I like the mindset, the patient and curious approach, undoing assumptions, because in this unhurried intentional exploration all the treasure is revealed


I loved the Hermitsgiving experiment
(and received so many revelatory insights through our shared process!)
and I want to spend these twelve days in companionship,
closing out this challenging year and this beautiful Month of Ease together

Let’s ease this time, together,
and bring ease to this time, together,
and find what treasure awaits us
or is already inside of us,
glowing like stars

I feel sparks of anticipation for this (!)
and looking forward to what will be illuminated in
the light of these qualities
and all of our light combined

Offering: private intentional communal space for exploration and passage

For me this is time and space for Dedication / Illumination / Mystery,
revealing my word and compass for the year, getting to know Incoming Me,
calling in what I want, naming projects, wishes and mysteries,
following a trail of sparks

For you this can be for what you need, wish for, desire
or feel drawn to explore in your own passage into the new year,
or for easing this complicated time of year if it is complicated for you too,
or really for whatever you need this to be

I will be using this space to write and process and explore,
you invited to join me, share in companionship and play!

If the holiday season is packed and bonkers for you,
then you might prefer use this more as a refuge, a place to
pause, breathe, gather your powers, plant seeds,
or maybe you will be able to join me in some deeper explorations into
wishes and desires for the new year,
either way there will be enough treasure for all of us

the fractal flowers will be working under the surface,
whatever insights and healing emerge from this space will benefit us all, I can feel it!

What this will look like!
I have put together lovely safe space (private hidden page on the site) for people who want to hang out online December 18-29 and play and explore

in this space I will also be sharing various capers, with some new ones, this is my code word for “exercises” since exercises do not sound fun to me, these capers are self-fluency techniques or approaches we can apply to help us with whatever we are working on during this time

who this is for: anyone who wants company or companionship in the passage of closing out this intense year and intentionally entering 2018, in space where we can
a) practice extreme self-care and wild self-treasuring
b) give ourselves what we need (which might be making it through the next two weeks!)
c) lovingly invite/initiate shifts in awareness, mood, body, internal and external space

cost: Early bird $45 / $65 day of entry

I hope we get to play here, however if now is not the right time for this, I am breathing love for you + trust in all is well!

Invitation for this post!

There is a lot here (because this year was a doozy, wasn’t it), I would love to think out loud on these qualities some more and together, whether you are coming to play with me or not, feel welcome to share anything sparked for you while reading…

For example, anything about the beautiful qualities or constellation points of Dedication, Illumination and Mystery, or the process and practice of creative intentional approach, and of course you can also share this post with anyone who might need this.

You are also invited to use the comments space here to seed superpowers and wishes for the end of year!

We can begin our entry for the new year here, or notice whatever we want to notice about the year-end as well, practicing [exit as we wish to continue]…

Here’s how we meet each other here: with great kindness, appreciation and love