Door of Meaning

Meaning what, exactly

I love having a word to accompany each month, or really,
to accompany me each month as I passage through,
focal point and talisman,
this month though has feeling especially Baader-Meinhof-esque,
that is, the phenomenon of frequency illusion,
aka when a certain something is suddenly, out of nowhere, mysteriously everywhere
and you can’t escape it.

Was everyone in my life already focused on MEANING
and the HIDDEN MEANINGS inside of everything,
all the time, constantly,
or have I only begun to notice this now,
do you know what I mean?

Hello, meanings.

The Meaning(s) of Meaning

Meaning is Interpretation.

Meaning is CLARITY.

Meaning is INTENTION:
what do I mean and how do I mean it
as well as all forms of {enter as you wish to be in it},
presence + heart glow.

Meaning is a declaration of purpose and intent.

Meaning is also Say What You Want To Say.

“Honestlyyyy I want to see you be brave!”

And, also, this:

Meaning is all the life/soul questions
(sometimes invigorating and sometimes rattling)
that help us investigate what is meaningful
to us, right now,
questions like:

Is This My Yes?
Does This Serve Me? How Am I Of Service?
Is This Truly How I Want To Be In The World?
Why Am I Here (in this location or this relationship or at all)

Alright. Let’s investigate. What is meaningful to me?

In my work: playing with like-minded agents as equals, sharing more writing with you, dismantling external hierarchies, documenting my legacy: the approach, principles and techniques/forms of self-fluency, the art and science of transforming patterns and habits, everything I know about wild-self-treasuring and exploring internal worlds with curiosity, playfulness and love. And spreading this good stuff in the world, may there be more of us doing this work of being conscious and playful with life!

In where I live (location): horizon, expansiveness, yoga/dance, play, connection, peacefulness, stars. Community.

In home: ease, warmth, quiet, coziness, nesting, where do I always feel welcome?

In relationships: love, sweetness, presence, play, independence, treasuring, sharing, clarity, integrity, fluidity, pleasure, freedom, someone to stroke my hair and write loving words on my back.

What is the meaning in this meaning?

I value play, a lot.

And yes, I am still deeply drawn to this wish of having like-minded people to play with and magical places to play. I miss The Playground, my beautiful retreat center. I do not miss the stress of making it work. What is next? What is the new form that is both meaningful and sustainable, meaningful and supportive?

Let’s stay receptive and look for clues.


November is not only the month of Meaning,
it is the month of the superpower(s) of
{A Breath of Awe and Clues Everywhere},
which I love because it can mean so many things,
a kaleidoscope generating seemingly endless
combinations of meanings.

Awe + Clues: Everywhere!
Awe, and look, clues everywhere.
A breath of awe about all these clues, which are suddenly everywhere.

The clues inspire the awe,
and this awe-state reminds me of other, related superpowers.

Related superpowers to A Breath of Awe and Clues Everywhere.

New Eyes, Look Up, Blink Open,
Finding My Way Back To Receptivity,
Turn Around / Turn It Around / Turn Everything Around,
Breathe Breathe Breathe Breathe.

Words are my magic, words are my medicine,
Breath is my magic, breath is my medicine.

What are my November clues

The extreme kindness I found in Nebraska.

Truthfulness. In October it seemed like everyone I encountered was saying one thing and meaning another. In November, there is refreshing directness. I appreciate this.

Small miracles.

Breathing deeper.

Ring more bells.

What is my November incoming identity

Ah, of course Risk Taker me, time to channel her.

She takes our goals-dreams-wishes very seriously
while still maintaining an approach of play.

She is wild and flirtatious and sexy and mysterious and alluring and owns it,
always playing, always training, always in play, always in training,
she delights in the mysteries, all of them,
including being a wandering witchy [word for teacher who does not teach]
a reveler revealer rebel of bells.

Yes, let’s be the Rebel who is the Bell and the Belle (of the ball).
To rebel is to re-bell, to reverberate again in a new way,
I am the rebel who rebels and re-bells.

Sometimes I resist [things that need doing]
and I suspect this might also be a form of rebellion
but what if attending to the secret ops on my list could be
its own form of rebellion (and re-bell-ing)
as part of my commitment to Purpose & Intent.

What is the meaning in our missions?

Peacefulness, Freedom, Follow Clues, Follow More Joy.

Share Truth-Love, Breathe Deeper, Turn It Around, Play In Community.

Declaration of Purpose & Intent.

My work is, in many ways, about Agency,
it is the opposite of being the teacher/guru/solver-of-things
let us forever keep dismantling the hierarchy of that!
and more about the combination of
a) everything I do to maintain my ability to be a clear channel and access wisest-me
b) working and playing with people as equals as we process our process, using the approach of self-fluency.

I love working with clients,
and also I sometimes see some gaps in certain concepts and skill-sets,
which another reason I want to document the body of work,
so we all have a useful reference manual when we get stuck/lost/disconnected.

A vision slowly taking shape

What if we develop some sort of training,
an Agenting training
for fellow Secret Agents of Agency,
in the Agency of Agency,
so that we can play as equals,
channeling our wisdom and the universal sea of wisdom together,
glowing courage-sparks and truth-love into the world.

Anything else about this?

Not sure of the form yet, maybe a manual, maybe a not-a-course delivered by email, maybe a retreat, maybe some combination of these.

Presumably a mostly self-directed DIY sort of thing so that I don’t even accidentally wind up on a pedestal, because that goes against the whole intent of all of it. INTENT AND MEANING. That is what matters.

If this interests you, let me know!

Okay, let’s seed this wish with great love and patience, and see what emerges.

A pause for a tiny freak-out related to something entirely different.

Me: Help I am feeling very distracted and disjointed because I took a risk related to someone I love, and now I am in oh shit what did I do mode.

Incoming me the rebelling bell: Hey, risks are our fuel. There is no point in worrying about how they are received because we already get all the points possible in the video game for taking the risk, this is also true of competing in dance, it one hundred percent doesn’t matter who you draw, how you dance or if you place, because you get all the points for competing, and anything on top of that is a complete bonus, and you know better than anyone that the game is completely rigged to begin with so it doesn’t reflect on you it only reflects on the game, you just have to reverberate more and better.

Me: How do I do this?

Incoming me the rebelling bell: I need you to breathe and remember how to be a bell. What if I tell you that all that is happening now is perfect, this nervousness about risk-just-taken is perfect, even fear is perfect because it is revealing and allows you to reflect more (both meanings of reflect, to turn inward and contemplate but also to shine your light and bring more vision to the world, to be clear), this is all related to Purpose & Intent, everything is working out just right. Can you turn your BADASS REBEL CONFIDENCE up to a thousand, and set a bell for eight minutes and focus on the mission? I’m with you.

Talking to a door / seeding wishes at the threshold

I love this month’s door and its pretty prayer flags,
colorful wishes
are exactly what is needed.

Wishing for:
Peacefulness. May all beings find peace.
An Undoing that is a Returning.
An Unwinding that is also a form of Do-overs Forever!
Let This Be Made Right.
Sustenance and Sustainability.
What I need is here when I need it.
I am a bell.

What does the door know?

The Door Of Meaning says:
You are always welcome here,
you are always welcome,
you think you don’t belong, you think Meaning is beyond,
that you are only getting by,
and yet your words your work your smile your joy
it is all meaningful and full with this meaning,
and you are love and you are loved,
and your beautiful full-and-broken heart
can hold all of this,
no contradictions,
no holding back,
cry as much as you want
at the door
it is safe to feel and want,
to know and not-know,
to have a vision and no path, or a path but no vision yet,
trust: it will all sort itself out,
nothing to do here but breathe awe and breathe clues,
breathe for passage,
feel for the meaning you have not found yet,
it is there even when you don’t see it

{trust love more}

Invocation of Meaning

I am Fierce & Fearless
Powerful & Striking
Of The Earth & Wild
Glowing & Alive

May we unwind what needs unwinding,
breathe into our heart,
wear our crown,
love-more trust-more release-more receive-more
learn to seek-and-become refuge for ourselves,
ring more bells,
yes to life

Invitation: Communal wish/processing space! Come play with me…

You are invited to share this post and to share many !!!!!! about what is here,

Or share appreciation or anything sparked for you while reading…

You can also share how things have been going, check in, or deposit wishes, gwishes, superpowers, qualities, ingredients, possibly in code.

Safe space for creative exploration asks us to let go of care-taking and advice-giving.

Everyone belongs. We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. We lovingly refrain from giving advice.

And of course it’s always okay to comment under a made-up name, whether for play and delight, or in the interest of Safety First.

Wishes and checking-in are never late because whenever you wish is the right time for wishing.

We remember that people vary and my process doesn’t have to be yours, and this is a good thing.

Here’s how we meet each other: with great kindness and appreciation and awe, whispering (and sometimes shouting) oh, wow what beautiful wishes!

The Fluent Self