Where I cover the good and the hard in my week, visiting the non-preachy side of ritual and self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
I had a wonderful dream. And then I woke up from the dream and felt very sad that the thing that happened in the dream could not actually happen in real life.
So I used it as my proxy, and pretended that I was doing it.
Very many interesting things transpired as a result, including what might be the best superpower of all time: finding shortcuts wherever I look!
Stop and breathe. Stop and breathe.
Wait, pause, stop and breathe. Paws!
Play. Of course.
Play is always the answer. Play always has the answer.
Next time I might…
Get back to play sooner. Catch myself when I’m being dogmatic about tools, and remember that the point of the tool is the playing, not the tool itself.
The mysteries. Things I found challenging (and mysterious!).
- The mystery of Sometimes Depletion is Part of Reality.
- The mystery of Sometimes People Want To Hold On Really Tightly.
- Saying a farewell that I didn’t want to say.
- The mystery of expectations.
- We had five people at Rally — a third of Rally — from Boston. They brought oceans of pain with them, including lots of other people’s pain. This was both useful and good, because we got a chance to test everything we play with at Rally in real time. The Playground is the ultimate experience in Shelter and Refuge, and it worked. But yeah, oceans of pain.
- I can’t [verb the verbs that need to be verbed] when I am sick.
- I hadn’t realized how much energy goes into doing [X] until I did it while not at capacity.
- Oh, hello Day 2. You showed up on Day 3!
- The mystery of The Pipedream Monsters. Aka the mobsters. Oh, they are the hardest..
- That thing I used to love so much that I still love so much still desperately needs to be renamed.
- Arguing with Incoming Me.
- The quieter I get, the stronger my sensitivity to anything that is not resonant with my internal hum. I warned everyone at Rally as usual about strong force fields going out into the world. After Rally ended, I stayed in the Playground for several hours: cleaning up and having a long sweet yoga. When I went downstairs, I opened the door TWO INCHES, and the world outside was too much. Retreat-retreat.
- How can I quit grad school if I don’t know what it is and I’m not actually in it? You see. This is a problem.
- All I want right now is to be outside in the sun, but all the things I need to do involve being near outlets.
- A shortcut is eluding me!
- I am ten different kind of toast.
Things I found delightful.
- Realization about why I am avoiding [all the things I'm avoiding]. It’s the Pipe Dream Mobsters. Monsters!
- The dream told me what I wanted. Now I know what I want!
- Planning the Ten Days Of Baths And Marveling.
- Lady Bond is even more fun than Bond Girl. We wore all the best costumes too.
- Shortcuts. Now known as portalbridges.
- Ohmygod so many epiphanies from the things we did at Rally.
- Rally! (Rally!)
- Rally was amazing. So much appreciation, wonder and delight for the indescribable things that happen at Rally. I can talk about fun, the laughter, the sharing, the trust, the permission, the sweet companionship, the holiness of true play. But words don’t do it. Rally is magic. Lately I have been doubting so many things, and this was a strong clear YES THIS IS RIGHT to one thing that I do. Rally. My god. Thank you, past me for allowing Rally to come into the world.
- I have a co-conspirator and this is wonderful.
- On Wednesday I woke up healed: feeling like me again. Trusting. Steady. Grateful. Soaring heart.
- Picnics in the park with Marisa. Flowers, sunshine, smiles, comfort.
- Love. A heart full of love. Many different shades of love.
- The Rally compass was exactly the right compass. It had everything I needed. Adventures of appreciation! Trust the yes!
- I got to see Juno! And even though we didn’t really get to hang out, I got to hug her many, many times and glow at her from across the room.
- Labyrinth knows.
- Wisdom from playmate by way of an old video game: “Think of a locked door or a ferocious east not as a permanent obstacle, but merely a puzzle to be tackled.” Yes. I don’t tackle puzzles so much as flirt with them, but this was the right reminder at the right time.
- Much sparkling, glowing and wow.
- My pirate queen quarters are becoming a giant blanket fort.
WHAM BOOM! Operations completed:
The phrase Whoosh Ha Mastodon Boom is secret agent code that means: this op is done, baby! It is often shortened to WHAM boom. You may also shout (or whisper) other joyous words if you like.
Operation Diamond Replica.
Deleting one thousand words!
Wham boom! Wham boom!
Milagrotag. April 22nd was a day of miracles, including one so astonishing and not-in-accordance-with-the-matrix that I don’t even know how to think about it.
A reprieve that I never would have expected or even asked for: a whole extra month to take care of something that I wasn’t ready for. Wow.
Also Lira gave me stripper dust, and this is going to come in handy for a future mission.
Superpowers I had this week…
The superpower of shortcuts everywhere.
And for next week…
The shortcuts (portalbridges) glow so that I see them before they show up.
The Freudian Typo (or autocorrect) Award.
Monsters became mobsters! And Monday became Mobday!
This was the best.
Also I said “I comeback” instead of I come back. This was true. I comeback!
Salve. Yours if you want it.
This week’s salve is the salve of I Never Wait In Line For My Own Swing.
It contains beads of certainty, trust, truth and sovereignty. Knowing that everyone else has their own playground. Lovingly insisting that everything that doesn’t need to be in your space leave quickly and peacefully. Reclaiming your swing.
These salves can’t be seen, but the production factory has delivered enough to me to distribute by way of the magic of the internet, so help yourself. There is enough.
Playing live at the meme beach house — the Fake Band of the Week!
This week’s band recently played a duet with Garrison Keillor.
The Cheese Side Downs.
Their first album was Better Cream Cheese Than Blood, and they sing sweet ballads with many, many verses.
I was astonished to find out that it’s actually just one guy. Thank you, Richard.
Hallo Hallo! I am saying Hallo Hallo. Announcement time.
Picture me wearing that crazy hat…
Are you on the list? Because Plum Duff is happening very soon…
That’s it for me …
Join my Friday ritual in the comments if you feel like it. Or call silent retreat!
We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. And we don’t give advice (unless people specifically ask for it).
Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.
p.s. It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — join in whenever (or not) and it’s no big deal.