Good grief, Sunday morning 2 am and I’m still up and writing. It’s both exhillarating (I am owning Writer Pidge, not being able to sleep because the urge to write is too strong) and exhausting (knowing that both Writer Pidge and Actor Pidge and also Corporate Toadie Pidge do need lots of sleep on weekends to recharge — oy). And I want to do my chicken and read all the other chickens as a wind down ritual to the land of peaceful dreams.

The Hard:
–Lots of emotional mishegas this week. Lots of tears. Lots of feeling and being with feelings. Also good, because being with feelings is better than eating feelings or tamping down feelings. But nonetheless, lots of emotional churn. Feeling very Kermit the Frog “Not Easy being Green” (or emo, in my case, if you can be past 40 and be emo).
–Overbooked. Too many irons in the fire. Running on empty a bit.
–Having trouble with dance and stage combat choreography for the musical I’m doing (Guys and Dolls). Lots of failure. Which, I know, is good for the soul but always feels like crap in the moment. Lots of self-maintenance around not being a perfectionist, allowing it to be messy, allowing it to be hard.
–Relationship churn. Being out of sync with my husband.

The Good:
–Very much alive as an artist. Writing my one person play. Moving it along. Getting to act and sing (and dance) in rehearsals. Lining up other gigs for the fall. Feeling like I have a lot of community as a writer and actor. Yay.
–Allowing myself to open up and be vulnerable and let others in during all the emotional hard. Not apologizing (too much). Letting myself be held — by myself, and by others.
–Having Havi’s words and this community to know I’m not alone, and to have company on this journey.

Thanks to Havi as always for the space to do this, and to all the other folks for their chickens. Yay for Chicken — even when it’s a little bit late.

Okay, even though this should technically fall under next week’s chicken, I couldn’t not update my “The Good.”

So, The Good addendum:

-The afraid is getting smaller. Turns out that it just has very large teeth, but when it closes its mouth, you can’t see them at all. We’re going to discuss chewing with its mouth closed.

-My first blog commenter! Yay! @sherronann liked my post http://catcarepdx.wordpress.com/2009/08/06/beat-the-heat-with-iced-water/ (I now know exactly how Sally Field felt in 1985). Thanks @sherronann!

Havi, thank you. This is your doing.
.-= Jen´s last post … SlimCat Food & Treat Ball =-.

Mmmm … so my favorite weekend thing is going back and reading people’s chickens. Though that does kind of make it sound like I read tea leaves (“excuse me, but I would like to read your chicken”).

But this is just neat.

@Amy Crook – I so completely love what you said about noticing how the good outweighs the hard. Because … I haven’t been really paying attention to that. But you’re so right.

There is something to listing it all out that brings me into equilibrium.

And the act of bringing attention to it totally cheers me up, even in weeks where the hard is especially big and unpleasant.

Yay, Friday chickens.

The Hard:

-failed my road test (I finally decided to get my driver’s license at age 28). That was really hard. Disappointing. Anti-climactic. Ugh.

-lost some momentum with exercise routine. Slacking off and skipping too many morning jogs.

-struggling with being defensive in my relationship…taking things as criticism when they’re not.

The Good:

-played a gig with an inspiring musician who made me feel excited about what’s possible to accomplish in art

-spent time hanging out and laughing with friends

-my girlfriend and I became Godparents to our friend’s awesome, beautiful kids

-wrote my first blog post ever, and while it’s kind of scary to start blogging, I feel pretty excited about it. The “blogging therapy” series here helped me get it together.

Thanks for this space
I love this ritual
.-= Christine´s last post … Glow House #3 =-.

The Hard:
I’m really struggling with my studies at the moment… hard to be motivated and hard to get through all the work. The moment I start on the next unit, it just puts me to sleep. I’m serious as I start reading, I just go to sleep!?! Then wake up an hour later and have to get the kids at school = there goes my study time!

Also hard, doing part time cleaning job at school and it is just crap. No other words for it.

The Good:
Clarified my vision for my life with my hubland this week and it was AWESOme! I can actually see it for the first time and I’m just loving it. So excited, love my ‘thing’! Just want to do it all and the time and hopefully soon I can.

Also good: absolutely crazy beauitfully in love with said hubland at the moment. He’s amazing and adorable and just so cool, I’m one lucky lady :)

Thanks for the space! You all rock :)
Happy weekend
xxx

Not-quite-so-awesome this week:

Huge fight/painful discussion with the man I love, who, sigh, no longer loves me. I am rather unaware as to what on earth I should do now, but I know that I don’t want to address it now. My heart isn’t ready.

Widsom teeth out today! Ow, ouch. Also, I look rather like a chipmunk and cannot eat or drink comfortably.

Having big problems with my university. They won’t let me move in, and its making me a little bit crazy. I need to go ahead and be moved into my dorm by August 15th, and they refuse to let me in until the 21st. They have no good reason for doing so, which makes me sad.

Good things!

I FINALLY got my wisdom teeth out, which I will never have to do again, and only two of them were impacted. Also, my oral surgeon called me PERSONALLY tonight to check on me. I love him.

I have finally come to terms with some things and have made some decisions about how to change my life for the better.

My dog is playing nurse since I got my teeth out. She sits at my feet or lays on me at all times, even following me to the bathroom. I love her so very much, and she reminds me constantly that I have much to be thankful for.

My hair looks good when it’s really humid. It’s thin, so the extra curl gives it more volume. I think of my curly hair as my happy hair. When it’s dry, it’s much straighter, and then it looks like sad hair.

The hard:
I went to my yoga class Wednesday night, and the door was locked. Nobody there. I hadn’t been there in several weeks, and when I took one of the schedules out of the box by the door I saw they had completely changed everything around so none of the classes are at a time that works for me. I’m so bummed.

The good:
A happy thing happened that I’m not ready to talk about publicly, but it’s a good thing and I’m happy.
.-= Riin´s last post … Amazing =-.

Good
-Finding this site and Havi and Selma and all of you.
-Sons came home to live. Love them! They have amazing stories and are so much fun. They make me laugh all the time, except when the don’t do the dishes.
-Starting writing for my blog-thanks to support here.
-Met with my healer-love her (worked on relationship yuck that was mostly about me).

Happy weekend everyone!

Okay. So.

Hard:

~ Fear about my sweetie’s dad, who had to be hospitalized and is now in a “rehab” place which I’m worried might be more of a “warehouse” place because my sister told me some terrible stories.

~ Worry about our boy, who is away from home this week. And fine. (Despite the dangerous dog.)

~ Missing our boy, who did I mention is away from home. TOO QUIET HERE.

Rockin:

~ We’re painting our house after living here for 10 years.

~ We are not repainting it white. The grey has a lovely shimmer I hadn’t anticipated.

~ Dark purple doors and shutters are more exciting than I could ever have imagined.

~ I figured out a way to make that slide that was bugging me in my slidedeck (Yay, http://chartle.net!)

~ Made lunches every day this week and didn’t mind.

~ I have lots of cool ideas coming to me these days.

~ I got to hang with my dear old friend Karen in NYC with no kid in tow… felt very decadent. There is no medicine more powerful than a friend who knows you well and loves you deeply, I think.
.-= Shelley´s last post … Beware of Dog =-.