The past 2 weeks have been crazy workwise. Fun-crazy, but busy-crazy. Too much work and stress about too much work. Been there, done that. And I’m freaking out because this is a pattern I’ve seen before and it never ends well.

I still have too much to do and not enough time to do it at work, and then no energy to do the things I want to do at home.

And the female issues I had last time are back. Probably because I am stressed out.

THE GOOD

But something has shifted because for the first time in EVER since this work pattern became a pattern, I have asked for help in the form of more staff and have been told YES.

And that’s not all: I have for the first time EVER asked for a promotion and raise and have been told YES (but have not negotiated details). Said raise will probably mean no more child support (because my income will be almost equal to my daughter’s father’s). However …

I did a big destuckification exercise with my therapist and the visualizations and epiphanies I had were mind blowing. And the really, really old stuff tying me to my ex has gone from feeling like steel to feeling like jello. Melting jello. Huh.

And all of a sudden instead of wanting to keep punishing him by making him pay (literally), I’m see I’m on the edge of being free from him having any power over me because I will no longer need him for anything. Huh.

Why didn’t I think of that before?

AND, last week’s VPA came true in a surprising way.
.-= lynn @ human, being´s last post … Show & Tell: In which I meet an International Film Star =-.

*shiver*

Sovereignty, right? Sovereignty.
Ok.

The Hard:
I had to speak to someone this week and give them difficult news. I lost sleep over it. And when I finally did it, it went really well. Like a miracle.
Shoes were thrown at me from an unexpected direction. And it really hurt. Even just telling this person that it hurt is hard. Ugh. But it’s done. And they’re sorry. Ugh. Even that sucks.

The Good:
So much good happened this week. So much! I’ve been posting VPAs about a *thing* that I really want to happen and perhaps could just miraculously unfold in a non-stressy and easy way. SO FAR IT’S miracles after miracles! It’s not completely 100% yet, but the universe has been unfolding in a lovely way. I am entirely grateful.
Another lovely and unexpected good thing that happened this week, is that a person who could have thrown shoes at me, and I expected to at least get a slipper thrown or a sock, absolutely showed me that they are a very kind a wise person. It’s like they gave me a flower instead of throwing a shoe. I learned from this person.

Thanks for having this space for getting perspective. I really needed it this week.
Peg xo

prepping for the huge good-but-difficult thing

car breakage

more sorrow, exacerbated by a shoe going plop in the middle of it

the good:

my (art) stuff is being looked at and admired by complete strangers (!!!)

I think I addressed the shoe from the least guilty and most sympathetic and least reactionary space I could find or create – at least, the rhetoric from that corner backed off a lot

an astounding number of treasured people have written and emailed and are coming to visit on account of the show – because I sent postcards to EVERYONE, and got back a lot of congratulations and good wishes

aside from the housekeeping involved in prepping for their arrival, this part is ALL GOOD
.-= lee´s last post … What’s next? =-.

Amazing week here
The hard stuff:
-back and hip pain.
-moving in spite of it
-had to close a credit card due to fraudulent transaction

The great part:
-moving through back and hip pain
-made a collage of my biz that was surprisingly awesome to do considering the fact that i’m completely art phobic!
-feel positive and organized about things since doing this
-got through scads of paperwork that i was procrastinating on
-bank was really helpful about closing the credit card
-my boys are doing amazing things with their lives, making big decisions with pride and confidence
-great sleep

life is good and it’s fun being me!! happy weekend-ing everyone.

The Hard:
- Stressing about what I’m going to do after I leave Japan in 1 1/2 to 2 1/2 years. Dealing with the angst of not knowing what comes next.
- Freaking out over scheduling issues: my brother might come visit me in May, but a friend of mine is getting married during the time that he’ll be here, and said wedding is in Korea. Plus trying to figure out what to do during the big vacation week two weeks before that. Taking vacations is more stressful than it should be sometimes.
- Working on my habits. It’s okay to not be able to break them in three days, right?
- Practicing saying no to things I really don’t want to do, leading to an epiphany about how much I hate skiing and why. There, I said it. I grew up near ski resorts my entire life, and I hate skiing. (Phew, it feels better to just say it.)
- Winter is terrible without central heating. I found an icicle in my kitchen yesterday morning, and my pipes have been temperamental at best.

The good:
+ The Ski Hate Epiphany was actually kind of awesome.
+ I wasn’t sick this week! That was last week.
+ Got to teach some new classes at one of my elementary schools yesterday.
+ Spent a week at my favorite middle school, mostly helping the third-years do test prep. The third years at this school are pretty much the greatest, funniest people ever, so it was an awesome week.
+ Started doing Shiva Nata. Not consistent yet, but I’m not beating myself up for that.
+ My best friend sent me a completely hilarious drawing that continues to make my day whenever I look at it.

Wishing lots of rest and health to everyone who’s sick right now.

I’m developing a crush on Stu.

The Hard: Realization 3, projects that die because no one believes in them. Made me cry and it took me till today to realize why. I’m still working with it…and apparently rhyming; which goes with the whole metaphorical thing.

Unintentional Shoe Throwing: being hit by suggestions meant to be helpful but that cost money I don’t have right now so always being reminded of the need for a job, like soon.

Frustration over having identified the components of a possible thing but being unable to pull them together…vexation! I need an inebriated chicken guide to counsel me.

Venn Diagrams…with six components. WHA??

Being cranky from no sleep and above vexation and writing a cranky, blog in which I tell PURPOSE to eff off.

The Good:
Playing with The Bridge and drawing pictures!

Putting a pirate hat on Selma. :)

Having a friend remind me Venn Diagrams don’t always need to be drawn with circles. You can you ovals too; which equals a flower, which equals a drawing of a lovely star gazing Lily!

Having all the above things come together in a form that suggests telling PURPOSE to eff off might’ve broken the ice allowing some energy to start flowing again.

A lovely comment from a perfect stranger on above mentioned cranky blog that made me smile and have an AHA moment. Yay!
.-= Wulfie´s last post … Eff Purpose and the Horse it Rode in on =-.

Sympathies for shoes of horribleness.

The Hard:
Hitting a wall in terms of energy. I had planned on taking Wednesday off to rest and found myself unable to get out of bed on Tues.

Stressed out people around me urging me to stress out too when I’m intent on going the other way.

Boundaries pushed with a battering ram. Holding fast but still a bit bruised.

The Good: Lots of things coming together in seemingly magical ways. Stuff I’ve wanted to accomplish for ages just happening without any effort at all.

Found the perfect dress for dancing in an upcoming performance without pain involved in the pocket or store. Was able to find one from a local designer at a local store on a dog walk. The shopkeeper even fed the dogs biscuits as I tried it on before strolling home.

I went to a poetry reading that fed my soul deeply.

I’ve been making new friends, and have been feeling supported as well as supporting the ones I have.
.-= Kate T.W.´s last post … Measurments =-.

The Hard:

- Giant shoe thrown at me too, but in a really f***ed up passive aggressive way by people who may not even know that I know they threw it. But guess what, if you’re reading this, I do!!

- Feeling non-descript ick all week. Thought it was gone. But, nope.

The Good:

- Niece is getting used to the chemo and the routine of being in the hospital, now that she knows this wasn’t some cruel trick played on her. But still, she will start losing her gorgeous hair next week. (see post below for a photo)

- I have 5 couples signed up for my shiatsu for partners Valentine’s class. Which is also a hard because speaking to groups makes me ill. But I am still looking forward to it (and buying the chocolate….!!)

And life goes on.
.-= Gina´s last post … in the morning of the magicians =-.