Friday chicken

Where I cover the good and the hard in my week, visiting the non-preachy side of ritual and self-reflection.

It is Friday and we are here.

{a breath for Friday}

What worked?

Applying things from the world of dance to the world of not-dance, aka the rest of life.

For example, “take smaller steps”.

This is helping me with my turns, but/and also:

Take. Smaller. Steps.

That was relevant this week in relationships, in work, in worries, in recovery. I figured that if my teachers keep repeating something, I should probably do it.

So I’m taking smaller steps, and being okay with smaller steps.

Or then there’s the thing they keep saying about “movement originating from the core”.

So this week a fellow Agent was very upset in the middle of the night, and I was too tired to do anything about it except offer a sleepy kiss on the cheek and a pat on the shoulder. But I whispered in my heart, “Let it originate from the core.”

And so I gave a sleepy cheek-kiss and shoulder-patting that were really and truly given with love and adoration, even though I was exhausted. They originated from my core.

Dance solves everything. Incoming me said so at the first Rally this fall, and she is still right.

Next time I might…

Check the Book of Me.

The Book of What Havi Needs aka the Holy Days of Havi Bell.

There is a lot of documented information about Hermitsgiving and how I get during this week where the energy of the whole country is pretty insane.

Specifically: I need potato chips. Lots of potato chips. This is important. And I cry, a lot.

Anyway, I found myself in some familiarly-uncomfortable moments, mainly because I hadn’t checked the research.

My internal scientists have already come up with working hypotheses and some pretty good plans. So the next piece has to do with looking at the notes so I can do the things they suggest.

A wise thing a dance teacher said this week.

Applicable to everything, so substitute life for “dance”….

“Dixie cups. The magic of communication is not the line between them. It’s the tautness.”

That was Jon.

And yes, it’s the tautness.

Eight breaths for the hard, challenging and mysterious.

  1. The energy of American Thanksgiving and the days leading up to it are like walking through water for me. It is so hard to remember that this debilitating fog is not my stuff, just me picking up on everyone else’s. A breath for sensitivity.
  2. Haha, and then there is the part that is my stuff. A breath for navigating my stuff.
  3. We are ridiculously overworked. A breath for how scary this is.
  4. Not enough sleeping. A breath for being worn out.
  5. A day 4 that acted like a day 2. A breath for discomfort.
  6. Doing the hard things. Dealing with lots of Ludicrous Fear Popcorn about Getting In Trouble For Doing The Hard Things Wrong. A breath for safety and for trust.
  7. I know what I want to be doing, and I am not doing it. A breath for patience and for changing aspects of patterns.
  8. Inhale, exhale. Goodbye, mysteries and hard moments of this week.

Eight breaths of good, reassuring, delight-filled.

  1. Sitting on a couch wearing a blanket and two purring cats. A blanket. This blanket has solved my “I like cats except I also like to wear beautiful clothes, and cats like to sit on my beautiful clothes” problem. A breath for perfect simple solutions. And purring.
  2. During my thanksgiving freakout I really, really, really wanted potato chips. But I did not want to venture out into the world to acquire them. Then Elizabeth showed up with these amazing coconut oil potato chips and it was perfect. A breath for getting exactly what you need in the exact moment and form when you are desiring it most.
  3. Everyone who has been driving me crazy in dance class is no longer driving me crazy. It’s like we all just started over. They are all being completely warm and respectful, and everything just worked itself out. A breath for new beginnings.
  4. Unconditional love. It is kind of terrifying and great at the same time. A breath for being seen and for acceptance, wow, this kind of acceptance, I don’t even have words for this.
  5. Brunch with lovely people that did not ignite any of my stuff about brunch. A breath for warmth and companionship.
  6. I took a country two-step class that blew me out of the water. For one thing, I was the youngest person by at least thirty years, which completely calmed my monsters who think I missed the boat on throwing myself into dance. For another, I was the only one who didn’t know any country two-step and it didn’t matter, because I know enough about frame to be able to play. I can play! And they could see that I can play! The teacher said, “Okay, clearly you dance, so here’s the deal: the rhythm is quick-quick slooow-sloooooow, expect lots of turns, mostly to your left, with a bunch of grapevines and promenades, let’s do it”. And we did. It was a rollicking romp into a new, exciting world. I loved every second of it. Now I have new monsters who are afraid that this is a gateway drug into riding a mechanical bull while wearing a cowboy hat. I will deal with that later. In the meantime, a breath for play and for delight!
  7. It was Rally (Rally!) this week, and I love Rally, and thank god for Rally, especially at Hermitsgiving. A breath for sweetness, and for company while exploring.
  8. We made it through the hard. And I had my first good night of sleep in about a month. And today is Blanket Friday and I get to hide in blankets. A breath for trust and for patience.

WHAM BOOM! Operations completed.

The phrase Whoosh Ha Mastodon Boom is secret agent code that means: this thing is done! It is often shortened to wham-boom. You may also shout (or whisper) other joyous words if you like.

Lots of interesting missions this week. Such as…

Operation Rocketeeranium Wham-boom
Operation Vice! President! Chicken! Wham-boom
Mission Enough Is Enough Is Enough Wham-boom

But mostly this week was about turning inward and getting quiet. Taking care of myself. Not all the ops got named, but they are important.

And there are some good things happening at my Red Rose Ballroom, and I am wishing for many more to come.



Powers I had this week…

The superpower of All My Interactions Are Harmonious. I have been working on that one fairly steadily for about nine years, so it was very exciting when it kicked in big time this week.

I also had the superpower of Following All The Rabbit Holes, which was very useful, as well as the superpower of screw it, I’m just going to research the thing I want to know about.

The superpower of remembering not to fight with Incoming Me, and to let her lead. Also remembering that following is not passive, it’s active.

Also, as I realized last week, I am the PROPRIETRESS of a ballroom, and that is its own superpower.

Superpowers I want.

Ease and Es. Lighthearted teleportation. Everything Is Simple And Pleasurable.


The salve of ease and Es.

It goes on so smoothly you almost can’t feel it. There is noticeably less friction when you take this salve. It is like a lubricant for life-stuff.

And it holds all the secret Es. Like effervescence. And exceptions…

These salves can’t be seen, but the production factory delivers enough for distribution by way of the magic of the internet, so help yourself. There is enough.

If you are not a salve person (today or in general), you can have this in tea form, pill form, as a bath, whatever works for you. Not only is there enough salve, there are also enough ways to receive it.

Playing live at the meme beach house — the Fake Band of the Week!

Background. Ez and I make up bands. Stu (retired Bolshevik-fearing voice-to-text software) once invented hanging out at the Meme Beach House“. It’s just one guy.

This week’s band thanks to Taylor:

Possible Carousing

They played at the Playground on Blanket Friday.

There may have been a tambourine. And yes, it is just one guy.

Attenzione!. Attention, AGENTS.

I am deep in an undercover mission to get better at receiving in all forms, or as I’m calling it: Glowing Receptivity and Being Receptive to Glow.

This involves, among other things, acquiring the skill of Gracefully Accepting Thanks.

And it is related to my mission of Coming Out Of All The Closets and sharing, particularly about my personal experiences with not-sharing-how-hard-things-are, when things were actually the hardest.

If you would like to take a part in this and support me on my mission by sharing sweetness and appreciation for any aspect of my work, I would love that. You can do it with the magic of words, through the comments, or add something to Barrington’s Discretionary fund. (Explanation!)

And if the way you are glowing appreciation is quietly in your heart, I like that too. It all counts. ♡

Come play if you like…

Join me in the comments. Some of us share hard and good, some of us say hi, or maybe we’re on silent retreat. My ritual doesn’t have to be your ritual. Whatever works for you. Almost three hundred weeks of this and there still isn’t a right way.

Everyone belongs. We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. We don’t give advice.

Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.

Shabbat shalom.

p.s. It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — join in whenever you like, it’s no big deal. And I am blowing kisses to the Beloved Lurkers. I love that you are here too.

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