Where I cover the good and the hard in my week, visiting the non-preachy side of ritual and self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
Strategic healing naps! Also just crawling into bed when things were not working.
Sometimes even for three or four hours. Exactly what was needed.
(Also fun: each time I decided that I would wake up with a useful realization. And then I did.)
One thing each day.
Getting the one thing out of the way felt so good that we often did a lot more than the one thing. Things got done. Evidence!
Using Pandora to take breaks.
Whenever a commercial comes on, I turn off the sound and sit and breathe and smile.
Thank you, reminder to rest. The commercials used to be jarring and annoying, taking me out of play-mode. Now they are my ally, conspiring to help me pause (paws!), which makes play-mode even better.
The Very Personal Ads.
Everything I asked for on Sunday was useful, but especially how I set it up.
The nine shapes were just the right thing.
Consulting the Book of Me.
I almost planned a fun hanging-out thing for last Saturday but the Book of Me and the Dammit List were very clear that on the day of a roller derby bout nothing else can happen. The Book of Me was right.
Next time I might…
Remember that most problems can be solved by napping.
Also most problems are not problems, they just look like problems.
This is interesting. I am learning more about this.
Look at my notes about stones.
I know so very much about stones.
Use a proxy.
- Everything breaking.
- Seriously, everything. Jar, mug, glass, shoes. Ripped shirt. Spilled more than half of the Very Expensive Bottle of [thing-Havi-loves]. Monsters wish me to specify that it was not an alcoholic substance, this was not drunky-clumsiness!
- Being at the Coliseum is the worst. Overwhelming and exhausting.
- Stones being stones.
- Stones disappearing. Time passing and realizing that the stone is gone.
- In general not hearing from people.
- A fun thing becoming much less fun.
- Fizzle fizzle. Why so much fizzle.
- Insecurity monsters turned crossed wires and misunderstandings into Hard Evidence of (doom).
- Too many things.
- That one question that I am so sick of.
- Avoiding friends and people I love because they can’t stop asking that one question. Needed: buffer phrase!
- Super scary phone call from the Denver police. Everything is okay now!
- How are all the things going to be handled? Oh right. That’s the wrong question.
- Running into a huge amount of grief.
- And then also fear of the grief. Fear that if I stop doing all the time I will be alone with all that sadness.
- Toozday I had plans for a Doing Day, but it turned into a have a panic attack and go to bed day.
- Big stress over the elections in Israel. Also… not exactly guilt but something about not going back to vote.
- Finally got some time with the playmate but instead of playing I just cried for an hour straight.
- The moment of saying, “Well, it’s better than nothing.” Ugh.
- End of the Floop, my Floating Playground. We had a gorgeous year together and I have so much love for what we did there.
- Forgetting truth.
- It’s roller derby season again. I could not be happier about this.
- Getting to see GNR (the team I’ve sponsored for four seasons) kick ass and come back from a deficit of fifty points to beat the Heathers!
- Seeing Scald and Shrew and Eclipse and all my friends. I am so rarely up for the socializing, but when I am it’s so great to see people I love.
- Actually, it was the week of social. I had (unsurprisingly-fantastic beer!) with Al and Richard at Uprising, and with @vicarpac at Saraveza, and everything about this was LOVELY.
- Writing a hard thing but not caring.
- Not caring about all kinds of hard because (superpower!) I suddenly remembered about how Nothing Is Wrong, and then nothing was.
- No, seriously. Nothing Is Wrong. Even the sidewalk said so.
- Saturday: sleeping in and napping, and having a not-doing day.
- My missing playmate is back! Playdates throughout the weekend and on Wednesday morning.
- Being wrong about everything!
- Discovering that all the hard things this week were actually good things!
- Incoming me.
- A long talk with Alon about all the right things.
- As the very mysterious note that arrived this week said, there are people.
- Incoming me.
- Once I realized that the Hall of Mirrors Insecurity Effect was in place, I was able to stop believing the monster-evidence for Everything Being Wrong.
- The moment of saying, “Well, it’s better than nothing.” (Yes, this goes in the good too!)
- Gazelle state. Dance class.
- Phone call at the exact right time.
- Ahahahaha it was all a misunderstanding. Just like on every sitcom ever, and just like I always say at Rally (Rally!) — assume misunderstanding.
- The best ever plans for Thursday! I had to cancel them but that didn’t take away any of the delight over their existence.
- Less than a week until I’m at the VICARAGE!
- I love this year’s Floop so much and I am delighted about next year’s.
- I feel peaceful and happy.
WHAM BOOM! Operations completed this week:
The phrase Whoosh Ha Mastodon Boom is secret agent code that means: this op is done, baby! It is often shortened to WHAM boom.
Operation STOCKINGS Wham boom!
Operation RESTOCKINGS Wham boom!
Operation NINE FORMS Wham boom!
And two-thirds of Operation Room Glow! Whoosh Ha Mastadon Boom! Wham Boom! Wham Boom!
You may also shout (or whisper) other joyous words if you like.
A superpower I had this week…
The superpower of What If Nothing Is Wrong! I had this so hard this week. Things were wrong, but they weren’t wrong for me. I was there for it.
And then when they were wrong, it was still good.
The day of panic was good! I woke up from my nap with a HUGE and vital realization that I never would have had otherwise.
The hour of crying with my playmate revealed a giant hall of mirrors where my insecurity monsters were playing. It also revealed that something I thought was a deep feelings problem can actually be solved with logistics.
The pain over the stone disappearing reminded me that each stone has a purpose (if not several), and that my job is to enjoy the stone as a stone. If it’s gone, it’s gone. If it’s not, it’s not. There are always more stones. And then the stone returned anyway, as stones often do. Nothing is wrong!
And a superpower I want next week.
The superpower of stopping to remember.
From the archives.
- The thing you think is less important is actually more important than the thing you think is the most important.
Playing live at the meme beach house — the Fake Band of the Week!
This week’s band is called
Bowl of Socks!
Though, of course, it’s really just one guy.
Hallo Hallo! I am saying Hallo Hallo. Announcement time.
Picture me wearing that crazy hat…
Also, some of the Y.E.A.R. options include the Floop.
That’s it for me …
Join my Friday ritual in the comments if you feel like it. Or call silent retreat!
We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. And we don’t give advice (unless people specifically ask for it).
Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.
p.s. It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — join in whenever (or not) and it’s no big deal.