Where I cover the good and the hard in my week, visiting the non-preachy side of ritual and self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
The hard part about this week was that all the missions and operations took much longer than anticipated.
The good was YAY TRUCKS, which we will be using as secret agent code to mean progress being made.
Thanks @chloewrites for this excellent phrase, which is itself progress (I mean, yay trucks) because I have issues with progress and acknowledging it, but I do not have issues with saying yay about trucks. Yay trucks!
8 letter words.
Also getting Twitter, Facebook and the Floop to help me come up with 8 letter words.
Turning a Nothing Works Today day into a Putterday.
Not fighting. Going with it.
Letting the puttering be a fractal flower: working on the project through doing something seemingly unrelated and symbolically clearing things out.
Not only did this work amazingly well but then I was able to turn my regular puttering time into writing time.
Secret code for everything.
See also: yay trucks! And wham boom!
Next time I might…
All the best things this week came out of a long conversation I had with the version of me who is the Director of the World’s Premier Dolphin Adoption Agency.
She was brilliant and hilarious and gave me the best advice ever.
She: Sweetie, your job is to be filled up on love and not to problem-solve. That’s the job.
Me: WHAT?! But isn’t there pushback from everyone who wants me to problem-solve?
She: Not at all. You set up the agency how you like (hello, it’s called AGENCY!) and people accept that without questions.
Anyway. That was really great. But I spent so much time trying to solve all the problems before I talked to her. Next time I’d like to just start by turning inward. Speaking of…
Get on the floor first.
Everything that was not working this week got better when I crawled down onto the floor and got close to the floor.
Sometimes I waited way too long to do this and then once I did, everything was good.
Floor. Use it, honey.
Recognize that things take longer than I think.
Even when I think I’d already thought about that part!
And sometimes they take longer and expand at the same time…
Operation Four on the Floor turned into a much bigger production than estimated, and that started to feel stressful (it will never end!)
In the end, I decided to divide it into three parts and finish the part that I was working on. And the other parts became new ops (Operation Milliner and Operation Roomglow). That worked really well, I wish I’d thought of it earlier!
- Oh man. Realizing that how I spent December was not really how I’d wanted to spend December.
- Craving time for revue and quiet reflection, and not having it.
- Seeing just how sad I feel when I see that past-me scheduled things I wanted, but then I wasn’t able to take any further steps towards these things actually happening.
- The first really, really cold days here. Scarves and hats and gloves. Reminders of That Awful Winter From Then, forgetting about how Now Is Not Then. Also: cold!
- Too much. Just in general.
- Premenstrual body dysmorphia that came out of nowhere and threw me for the loop of all loops until I figured out what was going on.
- The thing I thought would be great that was just really hard.
- An interesting (and loud!) set of monsters who believe that Plenty Is Bad. For example, you won’t use more than one gorgeous dress so you shouldn’t have more than one. But this rule only applies to me. Other people can have plenty of everything and that is about delight. But if it’s me…. etc.
- Help is still AWOL, doing way too much work. Grumbling about that. I want a long, lazy New Year’s brunch!
- Running into all kinds of old pain from THEN that I hadn’t even known about. Especially from living in Madison and from that long, awful summer working in the factory.
- The day of missing all the buses and wearing the wrong shoes and also snow.
- The day of too many things, too many people, too few transitions.
- Fake Beach Day with socializing is not Fake Beach Day!
- Fireworks and explosions on New Year’s Eve triggered old stuff. Interestingly this time it was not about the terrorist attack that I was in, but about when I lived in south Tel Aviv during the second intifada, being woken up by a suicide bombing in the next neighborhood and then just going back to sleep because I was so jaded/worn-down that it didn’t even matter. Ugh. Old pain.
- Operation Dolphins took four times as long as estimated. Which caused a panic.
- When do I get to go to the Vicarage? Is it now? What about now?
- A small designer whose clothing I secretly and quietly lust after from afar had a winter sale, and I got a dress I have been quietly desiring for months. This had a lot of symbolic meaning for me, and it took a lot of processing to get there.
- Twenty eight days until I’m off to the Vicarage.
- Writing, writing and more writing. 12,000 words that I feel strongly about. And this means that everyone coming to the class on TIME (it’s this coming week!) is getting an ebook that they didn’t know about. This delights me. And it’s full of outrageously subversive content, of course. That delights me too.
- Amazed, proud and happy about how many ops got done this week. And how much yay trucks.
- YAY TRUCKS.
- A terrific healing from Wally in which I gave away the locked box of loneliness I didn’t even know I was holding onto.
- Seeing Ealasaid again and meeting Nate.
- My new year’s eve ritual is still a really good one: plus pommes frites for dessert.
- Touch on the wrist.
- Operation Dolphins solves all the problems and streamlines things. It removes obstacles and allows for more sovereignty. Thanks, subconscious.
- Helpful friends keeping me company while I write.
- Richard took care of EVERYTHING this week so that I could write.
- Sweetest ever early-morning playdate
- Passport came early. And the photo is Marvelously Unremarkable, which is sometimes its own superpower.
- I posted all kinds of things to the blog this week.
- I liked this week!
- Huge huge huge YAY TRUCKS on Operation Milliner, which was my hardest and scariest op this week, so close to done!
WHAM BOOM! Operations completed this week:
The phrase Whoosh Ha Mastadon Boom is secret agent code that means: this op is done, baby! It is often shortened to WHAM boom.
Operation DOLPHINS Wham boom!
Operation DOORPOST Wham boom!
Operation SYLVESTR Wham boom!
Operation PICKLES-A Wham boom!
Operation FOUR ON THE FLOOR Wham boom!
Operation UNCRACKED Wham boom!
Operation READINGS Wham boom!
The Monthly Marigold Maneuver. Wham boom!
Whoosh Ha Mastadon Boom! Wham Boom! Wham Boom!
Oh, and also the B-bop mini-op:
Operation It’s In the Notebook. Wham Boom to that too.
You may also shout (or whisper) other joyous words if you like.
A superpower I had this week…
The superpower of recognizing that YAY TRUCKS counts. Making progress counts.
That Yay Trucks is big and important. Celebrating every part of Yay Trucks, instead of just discounting the things that aren’t done yet.
And a superpower I want next week.
The superpower of letting the compass solve everything.
Tabstravaganza! What’s in all those open tabs.
Also, you know what’s BRILLIANT? Clothing For Correspondence. They write your letters, you send them your clothes. Who told me about this?!?!
Playing live at the meme beach house — the Fake Band of the Week!
This week’s band is the best band that has ever existed.
Thanks, Richard for both the name and the highly entertaining story.
Fuzzy And Cow.
They are sweet and loud and they play all night. Though, of course, it’s really just one guy.
Hallo Hallo! I am saying Hallo Hallo. Announcement time.
Picture me wearing that crazy hat…
DOLPHINS, you guys.
Except you wanted payment options and we didn’t have any.
We now have a Dolphin Adoption Agency where that happens.
And not just any dolphin adoption agency, but the World’s Premier Dolphin Adoption Agency.
This is a wonderful thing, and I have all the excitement. Go there. Visit.
That’s it for me …
Join my Friday ritual in the comments if you feel like it. Or call silent retreat!
We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. And we don’t give advice (unless people specifically ask for it).
Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.
p.s. It’s fine if it’s not Friday anymore. There’s complete chicken amnesty — join in whenever (or not) and it’s no big deal.