Where I cover the good and the hard in my week, visiting the non-preachy side of ritual and self-reflection.
And you get to join in if you feel like it.
What an odd week. It feels as though I managed to pack a month in here except wasn’t it just five minutes ago that I was chickening last week’s Chicken? Time. It is the funniest.
Interestingly, this is also what I have been writing about this week. Onward.
Danielle and I spent three nights in a sweet cozy cabin at the Pacific Ocean.
Everything about this was exactly what I needed. And it turned out to be the best way to spend the solstice.
Letting plans change.
Toozday was designated to be Writing Day. But then it was more of a meh-no-energy day.
So I turned it into a Putterday. Which was so great.
And the puttering cleared my head and set up the entire week for writing.
Sharing a vision.
I told Richard about my new plans for my Wish Room (former office) and closet, and he found the just-right hooks, and helped me make things even more perfect than what I’d been imagining.
Next time I might…
Extend Beach Rally.
I try every year to come up with some sort of tradition for what to do on christmas day. The zombie yule idea is so great, but I haven’t made it stick. And I want something that’s mine.
This year I found myself dearly wishing I’d stayed at the beach.
So. Next year. Solstice through zombie yule! Hiding away in a cabin and writing. Horizon and water, just like I asked for.
And hot tub please.
Also I made a list in the Paperless app (which I am using as a sort of portable Book of Me) for necessary and desired things to bring with me to a beach cottage.
Remember that You’re Always Behind is a lie.
In fact, Behind is always a monster word. And anytime I hear myself thinking the words You Are Behind, I want to remember that this is a monster.
The biggest (and smallest!) paper tiger of a monster.
If everything is part of flow, then there is no such thing as “being” behind. And if everything is not part of flow because that’s hippie nonsense, then imagining that the moment of being “behind” to be part of a flow is useful. Because then I calm down and start looking for how the not-doing is part of the doing.
And the not-doing is ALWAYS part of the doing. The not-doing is often the most important part of the doing. And it is most certainly part of the setting things up for doing, once you take out the guilt.
You’re Behind is about guilt. And countering guilt with presence, conscious awareness and intentional permission is magic.
I know this. But sometimes I forget. Sometimes-a-lot. Once I remembered, everything got better. Next time I plan to remember earlier. And to color first!
- Beach Rally was not nearly long enough.
- Inowanna come home!
- Having a cold.
- That messed with Finally Back To Hours And Hours Of Slow Sweet Yoga.
- Some awful PTSD from surprise holiday fireworks. Left me panicky and jangled.
- Nightmares. Possibly related. Truly awful nightmares.
- Not sleeping well because of jangled and nightmares. Woke up one morning to discover that I’d knocked everything off my bedside table in my nocturnal panicky flailing. Broken glass everywhere.
- Not in the mood for [this week's big project].
- Monsters about that. You’re So Behind has so many friends. At times it seemed like the whole There’s No Time Gremlin Collective was up in arms. Which turned out to be really useful. But until that happened: not fun.
- Covered in dog hair. DO NOT LIKE. For me, one of the best (oh, let’s say, top 50) things about not living in Bolivia is getting to wear beautiful clothing and not worry about getting drool or chewed up food on them. Dogsitting this week was super fun but man, I just hated being covered in hair. And I hate feeling fussy.
- Missing someone.
- Beach time and solstice with Danielle. Writing, napping, reading, process, yoga, epiphanies. Perfect.
- Finally Back To Hours And Hours Of Slow Sweet Yoga.
- And I did some substantial [code name: Tree of Life], for the first time since everything fell apart.
- Sitting in the hot tub. Until we were banished (yes, banished!) by a hailstorm.
- Going out to see a movie on christmas eve.
- Coming home from Beach Rally to discover that my conducting vault (former closet, now meditation nook) had been painted in the interim! It now has a gold ceiling and it is beautiful. Thank you, Heinzelmännchen!
- Playmate. We are in this, I don't know, intense period of intensity. We are playing all the ways that can be played, and I am learning so much about what it means to be Havi.
- The words "unspool" and "infiltrate".
- Nick recorded a song for my beach holiday.
- Ha! I have community after all. I act like I don't but I do. Monday reminded me of this. These are the warm familiar faces in my life, and I like it. It feels like I've landed here.
- Hooks! All the right hooks in all the right places.
- I am a cat.
- Writing nest at the Playground! The best. My playmate: "My god. What decadent green Heaven are you hiding in?"
- Three days of writing in the writing nest!
- The 2013 Stompopolis calendars are here! And they are stunning. I am in awe. This morning we're shipping the international orders: United Kingdom, Ireland, France, Belgium, The Netherlands, Norway, Sweden, Finland, Germany, Austria Czech Republic, Australia, New Zealand. Tomorrow we ship North America. EXCITEMENT and JOY! I am so happy.
- Catching up with Garret, twelve years later.
- Dance class and more dance class!
- "Christmas is for Pleasure." It's in the calendar now.
- Dog-sitting. Playing with Buddy and Izabelle (yes, that's how she spells it, and yes, I have a problem with it but dogs are funny about spelling, right?), who are the BEST DOGS. Adoring them.
- I'm not the only person who makes fun of the irritating gratuitious umlaut phenomenon! Is that just one guy? Anyway, Fritinancy has a pinterest board for this. Warning: this might make you hate humanity. It's awful-awful-awful. You have been warned.
A superpower I had this week…
The superpower of Recognizing Monster Language When It's Disguised As Logic.
And a superpower I want next week.
The superpower of letting things expand and contract at exactly the right times.
Playing live at the meme beach house -- the Fake Band of the Week!
This week's band by way of Steven, who still hasn't bought me that drink.
The Piñata Butts
They're a progressive pagan metal mariachi band.Though, of course, much like Steven himself, it's really just one guy.
Hallo Hallo! I am saying Hallo Hallo. Announcement time.
Picture me wearing that crazy hat…
If you haven't signed up for the class on time, do that. It's about to get better, because of a thing I can't tell you about yet. More soon.
That's it for me …
Join my Friday ritual in the comments if you feel like it. Or call silent retreat!
We let people have their own experience. We’re supportive and welcoming. And we don’t give advice (unless people specifically ask for it).
Wishing you a glorrrrrrrrrrrrious day, a restful weekend and a happy week to come.
p.s. It's fine if it's not Friday anymore. There's complete chicken amnesty -- join in whenever (or not) and it's no big deal.